I was the one who saw you at your worst… but you lost me.
I know that life isn’t easy. It’s full of problems and from time to time, we feel as if we have reached rock bottom.
And that’s where you ended up at one point in our relationship. You fell apart completely, and I’d never seen a man behave the way you did.
You lost control over yourself and you started to lose confidence.
As time passed, you kept destroying yourself, having no idea how to pick up those pieces.
It’s as if you were lying on the ground and you couldn’t get up no matter how hard you tried.
I know that besides all those problems that were torturing you, you had one more on your mind. How would I react once I saw you suffering?
How would I react when I saw the man I loved in his current state of loss?
I know that you were afraid that I would be gone with the first morning light but I could never leave you alone.
Your whole world was falling apart and I couldn’t make you suffer even more.
In the end, I loved you and I promised you that I would always be next to you, no matter how hard things were.
I saw you at your worst and I decided to stay. I decided to take care of you and help you regain your confidence.
You needed someone to help you pick yourself up and move on through life. So, I chose to be that person.
You thought I was playing with you, even though my decision was sincere and out of love.
It was probably out of fear that I had seen you at your lowest point of life. You probably got scared that I’d see you as vulnerable from then on.
But aren’t we all vulnerable? There’s nothing wrong with it, I guess, but still, you did something that made you lose me.
While I chose to stay with you after I’d seen you at your worst, you chose to hurt me and push me away from you.
Why? I’ll probably never know, but you did some things that my worst enemy wouldn’t do.
You became insecure and you started to play mind games with me. You blamed me for things I had no connection with.
I tried to explain to you that what you were saying was wrong, but my words were in vain.
You tossed my heart back and forth over and over again, and you played with my emotions.
Was it because you wanted to prove to me that you weren’t weak or because you wanted to take back control in your hands?
I don’t know, and I probably won’t ever find out, but what I know is that you treated me badly and I didn’t deserve that.
You tried to manipulate me into thinking that my worth was non-existent and that I should be happy that I had you.
But how could I be happy when you made me feel so small and worthless compared to you?
I never did anything remotely similar to you, even though I saw you at your worst.
In those times, I tried to be your biggest support and your shoulder to cry on. I tried to be the one who would pull you up from the ground.
And what did you do? The exact opposite of that.
You pushed me hard to the ground and made me feel worthless.
And maybe I would have blamed it all on the terrible experiences you had gone through if you had made any effort to show me that you were sorry.
If only you had told me for once that you loved me and that you were sorry for your actions, I would have found courage in myself to forgive you for your deeds.
But you were too proud to do that. How could you give me an apology, as that would make you seem weak, right?
So, you were persistent and you made no effort to change. Over and over again, you tried to put me down only to uplift yourself.
And it worked until I had enough. I couldn’t take it anymore and I decided it was time to walk away.
If you had shown me respect, I would probably have looked for a reason to stay.
But that would have made you lose control, right? That would have made you become less than you were?
I was sick of your behavior. I stuck with you through thick and thin, I saw you at your worst and decided to stay, and what did you do?
You treated me badly, as if I had committed the worst crime. You suffocated me with your behavior and I had to walk away from you.
I couldn’t let myself become a lost woman because of the way you acted around me. I couldn’t let myself become a woman who fell apart because of the way her man treated her.
Trust me, I was always so much more than a thing that you could use to get rid of your frustrations.
I’m a living being who needs love and support the same way you do.
But the difference is in the way we treated each other.
I gave you love when you needed it the most while you treated me badly when I only asked for you to be around and make my life better.
I knew I could live on my own, but I saw something good in you, which is why I wanted to have you around. Still, you made an effort to show me that I was wrong.
That’s why you lost me. And that’s why every other guy will lose a girl who sees them at their worst but still decided to stay!
We can endure a lot but once we’re gone, we’re gone forever!