Just because high-functioning depression is different from major depression, doesn’t make it any less real. It affects the person who’s suffering and it can also affect your romantic relationship.
This type of depression is less severe than its major counterpart. The name speaks for itself – you can function normally yet still be impacted.
A person who’s suffering from high-functioning depression may look just fine to others. However, we know that appearances can be deceiving.
On the inside, they’re leading a battle that makes them struggle in everyday life. Others may not be aware of it because the symptoms aren’t as expressed the same as that of major depression.
Still, it influences the person experiencing it. Logically, it can reflect on people who are dearest to them, such as a partner or family member.
If you have to put up with high-functioning depression, then I can believe life is sometimes hard for you. Even though it’s not the more commonly known depression, you still experience extreme sadness.
Your boyfriend is probably the person who’s supporting you throughout your struggles and helping you out. After all, that’s what partners are for, right?
Although love is about the two of you and your affection towards each other, things can change pretty quickly. When you’re dealing with depression, it doesn’t only take its toll on you.
Your lover is unfortunately also affected by it, whether you acknowledge it or not. Depression can change the person you are and your behavior can reflect on him.
It’s not easy for you to feel this way, but trust me, your partner’s not doing any better. Watching his loved one battling depression is hard on him.
1. You don’t spend as much time together
When something’s burdening you, you can’t help but feel defeated most of the time. It drains your energy and you’re unwilling to engage in certain activities as you did before.
You don’t feel like being the life of the party anymore and you often avoid invitations from your mutual friends. There are days when you’re not up for socializing and that’s fine.
However, your partner doesn’t fully understand you, as much as he tries and wants to. He doesn’t know how necessary it is for you to sometimes just stay indoors and order takeout.
He’s down for family or friend gatherings but is wedged between leaving you by yourself and joining them. As much as he wants to help you and get you out of bed, some days you’re best left alone.
You don’t go out on dates as much as you did and chemistry seems to be fading by the day. You slowly shut yourself off and begin to distance yourself from the only person you could confide in.
2. You think you’re not good enough
Although you’ve been together for some time, thoughts of self-doubt start to kick in. You don’t view yourself or your relationship as you once did.
It feels as if you’re only a burden to your boyfriend and slowing him down. Perhaps you believe that you’re ruining the plans you made together.
You’re canceling lunch dates and dinner with him because you don’t feel like facing the outside world. In the aftermath, you start to question your self-worth.
Tons of questions flood your mind, but one of them sticks out the most: Am I still good enough to be his girlfriend? You often feel as if he would’ve been better off without you, which isn’t true.
All of your good memories are replaced with the sad reality you’re facing at the moment. The more he tries to get to you, the more you feel like you don’t deserve him.
3. You lash out at him
Maybe this one’s hard for you to admit, but it does happen. When you’re suffering from high-functioning depression, it can be challenging.
Some days, you’re able to do whatever you set your mind on. Other days, the story plays out a bit differently. Because it’s high-functioning depression, you’re capable of running errands, going to work, etc.
It’s the inner battle and it’s hard for you to depict it. Moreover, it’s difficult for others to even recognize you’re struggling.
Your boyfriend may not be fully aware of your condition, so you may feel a tad angry at him. You know it’s not your fault for suffering this way, or his fault for not seeing it, but you can’t help it.
Your mood swings make you lash out at him over the most trivial things. You know he doesn’t deserve to be treated this way, which only makes you more miserable.
4. You ignore him
You’re probably not doing it on purpose, but your boyfriend may think otherwise. He can only assume how you feel, but he can never be one hundred percent sure.
Unfortunately, he can’t read your mind so you have to open up and talk to him. Now, I know how a simple conversation can be hard for you when you’re dealing with high-functioning depression.
It doesn’t come as naturally as before and you’re not able to confide in him the way you used to. You’re afraid of anyone bursting your own bubble that excludes even your boyfriend.
Your romantic relationship can be greatly affected by your condition. He may feel unwanted because of the silent treatment you’re giving him.
He may think he’s done something wrong and blame himself for it. All he wants is to help you and knowing this, you only end up regretting your cold reactions toward him later on.
To sum up…
High-functioning depression isn’t as severe as major depression. This doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be taken seriously and treated accordingly.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t only affect you, but also the people you love the most. Those around you can find themselves in an unenviable situation.
They want to offer help but don’t know how. Your boyfriend may feel as if you’re giving up on your relationship when in fact, you’re not.