Humans are creatures of habits. We adapt easily and we learn to fight through pain.
Even when it gets unbearable and the only thing you want to do is run away, you still decide to stay because you don’t want to be seen as weak.
Add to that the myth we’ve been told that relationships require a lot of work and that you need to fight for love, and you get a perfect ground for a toxic relationship.
After a ton of effort and persistence, you finally get yourself away from the guy who did his best to hurt you. You hide from him because you don’t want him to hurt you again. You don’t want him to inflict pain on you all over again.
Finally, you feel that you’re safe. You run away from the one who was hellbent on destroying you and you think that all your worries are over.
But what you don’t know is the aftermath you’ll face once you’re out of that toxic relationship. And let me be honest, nothing will be the same.
In time, you’ll stumble upon a new guy, the one who actually seems to like you. You’ll give him a chance because you want to sail away from your past as soon as possible.
But the remains of your previous partner will keep following you. And it will feel almost impossible to hide from his bad past deeds.
Once you spend too much time in a toxic relationship, your perspective changes on what things should actually look like.
Even when you find yourself in a safe space, creating a future with a partner who keeps doing all of the right things, you’ll still have a hard time getting rid of those traces of toxicity.
And here’s what I mean by that.
Even though you’re aware that you’re now in a healthy relationship, you still keep preparing for the storm to hit.
You’ll keep waiting for that moment where your current boyfriend will walk through the door yelling at you because he’s tired. You’ll wait for him to blame you for something you didn’t do and put you last on his list of priorities.
When you tell your friends about these strange feelings you’re experiencing, you’ll see them judging you. But they don’t understand that this used to be your reality. You used to face this on a daily basis.
And as a result, it’s hard to expect that you’ll forget about his bad treatment from the past only because you seem to be happy now.
Truth be told, there were some moments with your toxic ex when you actually felt happy. But every time that happened, he made sure to bring you down and hurt you a little more than before.
So, there’s a reasonable explanation why you keep having these flashbacks and expect history to repeat itself.
But at the same time, there are many reasons you shouldn’t let these thoughts stop you from enjoying your new healthy relationship. You shouldn’t let them ruin your happiness.
This guy actually loves you and he keeps showing you that day after day. So, the best thing you could do right now is to embrace these happy moments and enjoy your time with him.
If he’s actually the right one for you, let him show you that without any prejudices.
You also over-analyze every single move your new guy makes.
Every word he says must have an underlying meaning that he wants you to figure out.
He treats you like a queen but that must mean that he’s only luring you in before the attack. He seems to care about you but that could be because he needs something from you.
The good thing is that he’s an understanding guy and that he’s well aware of everything you’ve been through. He knows that you were treated badly in the past and he doesn’t resent you for having these thoughts.
Instead of blaming you for them, he sticks with you, holds your hand tightly, and whispers in your ear that he’s there to stay.
And that’s all you need to hear.
But then again, no matter how hard you keep convincing yourself that he’s a good guy who actually loves you for who you are and not for his hidden motives, one part of you is always afraid.
You keep thinking that he’s too good to be true. You keep waiting for the moment he’ll reveal his true self and take off the mask he must be wearing.
But that moment won’t ever come because your new guy isn’t playing with you.
He’s with you because he’s fallen in love with every piece of your mind and soul. He’s fallen for who you are, and your negative thoughts won’t change that.
If anything, he makes sure to love you even more once you express your concerns to him. He holds you tighter, protects you harder, and makes sure to show you that’s he’s there forever.
And once you see that he’s telling the truth – once you realize that he’s not going anywhere – you keep apologizing to him.
For your actions, feelings, and concerns. You keep letting him know how sorry you are for doubting him, how sorry you are for saying those horrible things.
And him? He won’t be able to figure out why you’re constantly apologizing to him. He just keeps letting you know that there’s no need to keep repeating that you’re sorry when there’s nothing to be sorry for.
And just like that, you’ll eventually realize that you can trust this person. He’s not going to hurt you because he cares about you deeply.
He’s that guy who’ll fix your heart and show you how it feels to have someone truly love you.
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