Being cheated on… I don’t even have to say anything more as you can already feel the pain behind those three words.
It’s probably one of the worst things that could happen to anyone. You fall in love with a person and everything seems to be going great. Then one day, you find out that your partner went behind your back and kissed the lips of another woman.
Your heart shatters instantly. You no longer know who you fell in love with. The man you spent some of the best days of your life with ends up being a lier and a cheater. Someone you can’t recognize.
If your friend was going through the same situation, you’d probably give her that one piece of universal advice all women who’ve been cheated on get to hear: “Leave him – you deserve better than that!”
So, when you meet someone who chooses to stay with their cheating boyfriend or someone who’s having a hard time moving on after him, you can’t help but wonder, what’s wrong with that person?
Does she have any pride left in her? How can she wipe away his wrongdoings so easily?
You’re 100% sure that she made the wrong decision. You can’t find a reason for her wanting to stay in a relationship that broke her heart. You can’t figure out why she’s longing for a man who’s ruined her.
Instead of trying to understand women like this and what they’re going through, you keep judging them. You keep seeing them as weak since they don’t know how to stand up for themselves.
But there’s one thing people don’t understand about being cheated on. One thing that we all ignore, as if we could never end up in the same situation.
It’s easy to say what you’d do if something similar was to happen to you. You immediately keep bragging about how you would leave your partner right away, how you would block his number and never allow him to come back.
You may even think about getting your revenge and making him feel what he did to you. The possibilities are endless, but all of them are based on one idea. You would apparently leave a guy who cheated on you and you would immediately forget that he exists.
But do you want to know something? You want to find out why it’s not that easy to leave a person, even after you’ve been cheated on? Why you would still miss and want him, even after what he did to you?
The thing is, this is the person you love deeply. It’s a guy who used to be the reason you were always smiling.
This is the man you fell in love with and who showed you how it feels to be treated with utmost respect and kindness. At least, he used to be someone like that.
When he cheated on you, he shook your world from the ground and made you feel like you were living a nightmare. That one fleeting moment changed the rest of your world. It erased all of the memories of happy times together.
That one realization changed everything. It changed your present and it certainly will change your future.
And even though you know what he did to you, you can’t stop loving him that exact second. You can’t just instantly bury all of the feelings you still have for him.
One day, everything was perfect. The next, your whole world came crashing down in front of your eyes.
People don’t understand that even after being cheated on, you still remain in love with a man who did that to you. You still care deeply about him, even though you know that he stabbed you in the back.
So, what I’m trying to say is that you shouldn’t judge the person who’s been cheated on. You shouldn’t judge that woman who’s still in a relationship with her cheating boyfriend. A woman who’s still longing for the times she spent with her cheating ex.
You never know what she’s going through and how hard it is for her.
Maybe she’s not even aware of what just happened. Maybe she’s being delusional and doesn’t want to admit the truth to herself.
Being cheated on is hard enough, so please stop making it harder by commenting on what should be done. Her whole world is crumbling down and the last thing she needs to hear is your advice.
Don’t shame anyone for staying in a relationship that’s clearly bad for them. Don’t try to act all smart by judging them for their choices.
You have no idea what someone’s going through. You have no idea what they’re dealing with.
A woman who’s been cheated on will miss her ex-boyfriend for a long time. She’ll dwell on everything she went through with him. She’ll miss the way he kissed her and made her feel like everything would be alright.
“Stop longing after him. He cheated on you, for God’s sake!” Those words mean nothing to her. Those words don’t help her at all.
He was her partner, the one man she planned to grow old with. And the moment he broke her heart didn’t change anything.
She didn’t stop loving him only because he slept with someone else. That’s not how things work.
Instead, she kept thinking about him in silence since she knew others would judge her if she told them about her feelings. She kept wishing that he never committed the act he did because she knows how happy the two of them could be.
It’s all a bit more complicated than you think. So don’t comment on it, since you have no idea what someone’s going through.
Let everyone deal with their burdens the best way they can, as shaming them for their decisions isn’t helpful at all. If anything, it only makes matters worse.