When you leave a toxic relationship, a self-care routine seems like a joke right off the bat.
You’re broken and bruised. Your heart isn’t able to comprehend what just happened and before you know it, you’re hurting again.
The aftermath of loving a toxic man can, at times, be worse than the toxic relationship itself. He made sure to convince you you were nothing without him, so now you’re just confused.
Who are you when he’s not around? Can you even appreciate the fact that you’re single again?
When you leave a toxic relationship like this, you can’t just go back out into the world like nothing ever happened. You doubt yourself, you doubt everyone around you, and you also doubt that there’s anything that can help you.
Well, let’s say that your only way to get back on your feet is to take care of yourself.
A self-care routine sounds like one of those social media posts that everyone shares and blindly believes in. This is not that.
This isn’t a routine that is limited to candles that smell good and long baths. I mean, if you do need that then go for it but this is your self-care routine.
So you’re already skeptical about how accurate this is for you. Who journals nowadays?
Well, let me tell you that journaling has many advantages, one of them being unleashing all the pent-up frustrations from your brain.
There may be a ritual that you want to do.
For example, if you feel like you can write in the morning before work on your balcony with a coffee, then do that, or you may want to journal in bed with a glass of wine after you’ve just eaten dinner, before going to sleep.
It’s completely up to you. It’s not an issue if you decide to skip a few days, as long as you journal whenever you feel stressed.
Not everyone has the same needs, so you can’t really align your own with the needs of others. Journaling can just be about letting your brain lead your hand and create words.
You can reflect on what happened, how you’re feeling, and if you thought of that toxic relationship again. You can write down everything that’s making you anxious or depressed.
With journaling, you’re doing something for yourself while also relaxing and reflecting on your own emotions, which is a great asset to your self-care routine.
2. Eat enough
When you leave a toxic relationship, your first instinct is to eat a lot of ice cream and cry. You’re probably not thinking about the issues that’ll follow these decisions.
Instead of telling you to eat something healthier or to eat less or more, I’m going to tell you to eat enough.
Your gut is craving certain foods right now. It’s probably looking for comfort foods.
You know how much of those you can eat before getting sick, so don’t overdo it.
Find a healthy balance between sweets and greens, so don’t give in to those huge cravings to eat fries each night but rather eat them every second night.
Don’t go into the extremes of starving yourself or overeating. You need a balance so your mind can keep up with your own healing process.
Food is an extremely important part of your own self-care routine, so make sure you eat what’s enough for your body. If it’s once or four times a day, do it!
Just eat enough and stay healthy.
3. Go to therapy
A reason why we can get stuck in abusive and toxic relationships can be that our boundaries are awful. However, you can set perfect boundaries if you let a psychologist help you out for a while.
Sometimes we’re not even aware of the issues we have until someone actually talks to us about them. So instead of guessing where your boundaries are lacking, go and talk to a professional.
I know that people usually think that only those with serious issues go to therapy. That’s actually not true and you need some kind of therapy right now so you can get back on your own two feet.
Once every two weeks should be more than fine to spend talking to someone who’s there to listen to you and give you advice on the things you need to work on.
4. Listen to your own needs
Have you ever felt obligated to do something simply because someone else thought that it was best for you at that time?
Well, that’s one of my issues with other self-care guides. They tell you that you need to do this or that and completely forget about your own needs.
I could tell you to go out with your friends and spend all your time in clubs but maybe that’s not what you need right now. You may need to spend time by yourself.
Don’t let others convince you that you do or don’t need to do something. I know that this may not seem like an actual routine but it is if you always listen to your own needs.
Before you do anything, ask yourself what you’re craving right now. If you crave social interaction, then go get some coffee with your friends.
Healing from a toxic relationship isn’t a black and white process. If you want to heal, you truly have to listen to your own needs and find your own peace.
5. Find a new hobby
When you leave a toxic relationship, your mind is completely taken over by thoughts of him and what you went through.
Those thoughts won’t leave your mind overnight but if you find a way to distract yourself, you may find yourself thinking of things that have nothing to do with him.
It won’t happen right away but with enough time and effort, it may.
So find a hobby! Find something you like to do that’ll take your mind off of him.
Even if you do think of him, turn it into productivity. Paint, read, write, jog, go to the gym.
Do something that’ll take your mind off of him and your need to go back to him. At some point, you’ll turn all the pain into productivity and creativity.
It’s your own little self-care routine that no one else can disturb.