Dating a narcissist can really ruin your life. It destroys your self-esteem and it takes a long time for you to recover. But no matter what they do or say to you, you should never believe when a narcissist says “I love you.”
The truth is, a narcissist’s whole world revolves around himself. He’s incapable of loving anyone else but himself.
And his definition of love is toxic, dangerous, and unhealthy. It doesn’t resemble in any way what true love actually is.
I know that you’ve had your fair share of narcissistic boyfriends and heard them saying how they love you a million times. Even if his mind is telling him that he loves you, he never actually speaks from his heart.
So, I’m here to help you decipher what he really means when he says “I love you.”
1. I love you because I can blame you for everything
One classic trait of all narcissists is that they love to run away from responsibility.
They can’t take the pressure of knowing that it’s their fault for something bad that happened. They never feel guilty about the things they’ve done or said to you.
Instead, what your narcissist will do is blame everything on you and create a scenario in which you’re the guilty one. He’ll make you look like you’re the crazy one and a woman who expects too much from him.
That’s the reason he loves you so much. He adores playing games with your heart and mind, and will always force you to question your own sanity.
His strategy is to gaslight you and to put all of life’s responsibilities on your shoulders. Before you even realize it, he’ll blame you for all of his failures and for the times he was unhappy with you.
And why is that? Because he feels threatened by you as he knows you’re better than him. He actually feels inferior to you and wants to knock down your superiority.
2. I love the power I have over you
Most narcissists will cling to their partners because they enjoy having the feeling of superiority over them. So, what is the meaning behind a narcissist’s “I love you”? Well, he loves how suitable a victim you are for him.
Having power over you gives him the much-needed ego boost he yearns for every day. It’s like he’s an addict and you’re his drug. He loves that he can manipulate you into thinking that you’re beneath him in every way possible.
He adores playing with your emotions so that he feels like he’s in the one in charge.
3. I love the way you love me
Another hidden meaning behind a narcissist’s “I love you” is that he loves the way you take care of him and treat him. He enjoys being admired and appreciated in every way.
That’s why he won’t leave you until you break it off first.
He loves being in a relationship where both of you prioritize HIM and share your love for HIM. Making sacrifices and showing that you love him unconditionally is your daily job when you’re in a relationship with a narcissist.
And he says that he loves you because you’re giving him your entire self while asking for nothing in return. You’re compensating for his lack of self-love.
4. I love to make you feel worthless
All narcissists are pessimistic and downright awful people. And despite their seemingly inflated egos, they don’t actually have a good opinion about themselves.
Even though they appear to be full of confidence and self-love from the outside, they’re actually drowning in their own insecurities.
So, another way a narcissist may boost his ego and feel better about himself is to make you feel worthless. He enjoys putting his victim down.
Only when he knows that you’re inferior to him does he have a sense of self-worth. He has to improve his self-image somehow, and the easiest way for him to do so is by making you feel like you’re not good enough for him.
He’ll always emphasize your insecurities and flaws to make himself feel bigger and better than you.
5. I love you because I need you
The thing about narcissists is that they’ll try their hardest to prove to you that you need them while in reality, it’s the other way around.
He’ll make you believe that you wouldn’t succeed in life without him by your side and that you’d never find someone better.
But the truth is that a narcissist actually needs you. He needs you like the air that he breaths and that’s the last thing he wants you to realize.
You give meaning to his life and you make him feel good about himself. You’re the one who completes him. That’s why a narcissist can never genuinely love you.
6. I love you as a possession
He doesn’t want to know how you’re feeling or what your opinion is on a particular matter. He won’t satisfy your needs or answer your call when you need him.
Essentially, he doesn’t see you as an actual person who has her own feelings and free will. Instead, he sees you as a tool he can use to feed his ego with and he loves you as a precious possession he needs to have.
You’re his trophy and something that only belongs to him.
A narcissist’s love is always selfish. He isn’t bothered if you’re not happy with him, as long as you can help him feel good about himself.