Love is easy when you fall for a person and start imagining your whole life together without difficulties. But it’s also hard when the person you fall for can never be yours.
Love is beautiful as it evokes all these emotions inside of you and you had no idea that most of them even existed. But it’s also messy as it’s impossible to share them with the one you can never be with.
In your dreams, the love you feel for this guy makes you happy. You’re excited for the future and everything it has to offer.
But then you wake up and realize that your plans can only come true once you fall asleep again. They can only happen in your dreams and that’s the best you’ll get.
When you love someone you’ll never be with, waking up feels like torture.
This person truly feels like he’s been made to your standards. You look at him and see perfection in the shape of a human being.
But then you remember that you’ll never be able to experience how it feels to hold him in your arms. You’ll never have the right to kiss him and to run into his hug after you haven’t seen each other for a while.
Those things can only happen in your imagination, while you’re lying in your bed, daydreaming about how great your life could be if only there weren’t so many obstacles standing in-between the two of you.
That’s the painful truth of loving someone you’ll never be with.
You wake up in the morning, wishing to see him next to you when you realize that your bed is empty. At that point, your heart cracks a little as you know that day after day, you’ll always have to go through this same emotion.
Every single morning, your bed will be cold and every single morning, your heart will sink once you realize that this sickening feeling will remain a part of your reality.
The painful truth about loving someone you’ll never be with is when you see that person with someone else and you feel physically ill.
Even though you’re not together, your heart breaks once you figure out that he doesn’t feel the same way about you.
Deep down, you know that you have no right to feel sad since you’re not even dating but you can’t really control your emotions.
You can’t control the feeling that you’re deeply in love with this guy, even though you’ve never been together.
Your mind thinks of all these scenarios where the two of you will finally be walking beside each other, holding hands. It has all these ideas about how you could decorate your apartment together and what you would name your first child.
But in the middle of daydreaming, you break your own heart once you realize that none of those things can happen. The person you’re in love with is already happy with someone else and you can’t do anything to change that.
Even if you were perfect for one another, the only way to end up together is in your dreams. Everything else seems like putting your hopes up way too high.
The pain of this realization will always be there. It’ll follow you day and night and you’ll never truly learn how to live with it.
It’ll keep bothering you even on the good days when you go hours without thinking about the one who’s not destined to be yours. But it’ll take you just a second and the smallest trigger to once again start dwelling on him.
Even when you have no strength to put yourself through this heartache, you won’t know the way to stop all of these thoughts from consuming you.
So, you’ll simply give yourself to them and you’ll break your own heart one more time by once again going through the realization that you’ll never end up with the person you love.
Eventually, you’ll teach yourself how to move on. Slowly, step by step, you’ll teach yourself how to stay away from those thoughts and not let them be the only thing that’s on your mind.
It won’t be easy and it won’t ever happen fully but after some time, you’ll find a method that works for you, one where you’ll allow yourself to be with this person only in your dreams. One where you’ll learn how to suppress all of your emotions once you wake up.
You’ll date other guys and maybe even fall in love but this person who can’t be yours will never leave your mind.
There will always be that one room in your heart that you won’t be able to assign to anyone other than him and it’ll always have his name written all over the door.
None of the emotions that you feel for him will ever leave your system completely. The idea that you could’ve been perfect for one another will keep lingering through your mind and you’ll barely be able to change that.
You’ll feel like you’re doing fine but something trivial will happen and you’ll realize that the one you’ll never be with never actually left your life. You never let go of him completely, even though you thought you did.
He’s still there, hidden in the darkest corners of your heart, so you don’t think about him much. He’s there, deep in your mind, so you don’t spend days overthinking about all of the bad luck that you stumbled upon.
When you love someone you’ll never be with, that person never actually leaves your life. He always remains there, even in the form of a tiny wish that will never get fulfilled.
You could fall in love, get married or move countries but if you by any chance happen upon him, you’ll certainly start thinking about everything you could’ve had together but it simply wasn’t meant to be.
Even if both of you played all of your cards differently, the truth is that you would never end up together. And that’s what hurts the most.