Not being able to have the person you have in your heart in your arms as well can be extremely painful.
I don’t know in which exact moment my heart chose to give itself to you… but I do know that ever since then, you’ve been constantly on my mind.
I fell deeply in love with you at that moment, and with time, that love has kept growing.
Unfortunately, that love turned out to be the hopeless kind.
Instead of being the kind of love that would leave me with a tingling sensation or butterflies in my stomach, it left me broken.
I had to face the fact that it’s never going to be reciprocated.
Having to deal with the truth that I’m able to love a person who doesn’t care about me at all has been very difficult.
Still, it was the truth and I’ve had to deal with it.
I constantly feel your absence and it’s making me miserable. My heart yearns for you so badly, but you don’t even acknowledge my existence.
When what your heart wants more than anything is something you can’t and won’t ever have, it’s painful.
I’m trying to forget you and I want to, but I simply can’t. I tried to pretend that not getting your attention doesn’t affect me, to make myself believe it.
No matter how hard I tried, I was still ready to do anything to get you to notice me.
I tried convincing myself that my feelings would pass, but they only kept growing stronger.
It’s true that I wanted to believe that someone else would walk into my life and make you disappear from my mind and heart…
I wanted to believe that and I really tried, but it seemed impossible.
I keep trying to get you out of mind, and sometimes, I even succeed in not thinking about you.
Then, we cross paths, and my heart starts to race, pumping all my feelings back into existence.
When I hear the sound of your voice, it hurts me that it’s never directed at me.
It’s like hearing the most beautiful love song that the person I love is composing for someone else.
When I hear your laughter, it hurts me that I’m not the one who caused it. Don’t you know how badly I want to make you smile and know that it’s because of me?
These little things are somehow able to break me, piece by piece.
It makes me wonder how this could even happen. How can I care so deeply about someone who doesn’t care about me at all?
I fell so hard for you, and the feelings I have are painfully real, but the whole situation feels unreal to me.
It feels like I’m a victim of a very cruel joke and I want it to end.
Whenever I see you, I only fall even harder for you, and moving on from you seems impossible.
The only cure for my pain would be to hold you in my arms but I know that that’s impossible too.
So, I’m stuck at a dead end. I can’t be with you and I can’t stop loving you either.
I’m not the only person in the world in this terrible situation but I wish no one would ever have to feel the way I do.
I don’t blame you for this. You’ve probably noticed that I get very awkward around you.
Maybe you even wonder what’s going on when I stare at you, speechless, and try to look cool but fail miserably.
If only you could know the way I feel inside every time I get near you. My mind tells me to stay calm while my heart aches for you.
I want you so badly, but I don’t want your pity. It would hurt even more if you started feeling sorry for me.
Your attention wouldn’t mean anything if you gave it to me just because you felt guilty about not reciprocating my feelings.
No matter how desperately I need your attention, I still respect myself enough not to want it if it’s out of pity.
I’m trying hard to become capable of staying composed around you. For now, all I’ve managed is to not allow myself to break whenever I see you.
I’m never going to be the person who gets to comfort you, kiss you, or keep your heart safe. I have accepted that, no matter how painful it is.
There is most likely someone else in your life who makes your heart beat faster. That person probably cares about you almost as deeply as I do.
I can only hope that she’ll give you what you deserve, just like I would. The girl who gets to have you is very lucky and I hope that she’s aware of that.
Hopefully, she’ll never take you for granted, just like I never would. You deserve that and nothing less.
I love you enough to want you to be happy, even if I’m not the one who gets to make you that way.
I’m not going to lie, seeing you happily in love with someone else would hurt…. but I would also be glad for you.
I want you to find happiness and true love because you deserve to have both!
The feelings I have for you have hurt me more than they made me feel good. Still, they made me realize something very important.
I now know how much I’m capable of loving someone. Before you, I didn’t even know that it was possible to love someone that much.
Now, I see how much I can give, and since I care so much about you, someone who doesn’t care about me, it tells me something.
How much am I going to be able to love someone who actually reciprocates my feelings?
There will surely be no limits to that love, and it will be a love even greater than this one.
This is what keeps me hopeful, calm, and looking forward to someone I can have that love with.