Whenever someone tries to give you advice after a breakup, they always yell from the top of their lungs that you should just move on.
They make it sound like the easiest thing in the world, as if we all know from birth how to walk away and move on from someone we loved (or maybe even still love).
When you tell them that you didn’t get closure, they tell you that you don’t need it, that moving on without closure will be just fine.
“Forget about him!”
“Stop looking at your phone!”
Is it really that easy or are there things that no one tells you about moving on? Because right now, moving on seems impossible.
They don’t tell you how much it hurts.
His absence is like a constant banging against your ribcage, it hurts so bad. You have to catch your breath whenever you think of him.
Moving on with your life without him being by your side is pure torture. You smile at people who pass you by, so they don’t see your misery.
You laugh things off when your friends mention him and they praise you for your bravery.
If only they knew the pain that has become a constant in your heart.
No one tells you that wherever you go, you will always associate things with him.
It’s like they are selling you the idea of moving on, without telling you about all the side effects that come with it.
They don’t tell you that you might never find closure.
Walking away from someone and having a mind that buzzes with ‘what if’ questions are two things that don’t mix well together.
You know that the breakup was for both of your sakes, you know that walking away wasn’t a choice, but a necessity. It was for your own good!
You want to find closure and move on with your life, but your mind still keeps on making up scenarios about the two of you.
Before you fall asleep, you remember what it was like to sleep next to someone you love.
You can remember his touch, the way he hugged you, and held you close.
It’s not healthy by any means, but your mind and body move on their own accord.
Your mind moves to a time when he was right there next to you and your body molds into the phantom of his body that you imagine is sleeping next to you.
You want to ask him for closure, but it’s too late now. You can’t go back because if you did, you wouldn’t be strong enough to walk away again.
There is a fear that you will never find closure.
However, you walk further away from him each day, knowing that there are unanswered questions lurking in the back of your mind.
They don’t tell you that seeing him will be pure torture.
When you see him the first time after the breakup, it will feel like lightning has struck you. Your entire body will freeze for a moment.
Even if that moment is very brief, it’ll still let itself be known by the way your heart skips a beat and your mind goes blank.
When you see him after so long of not holding him near, your skin will ache for his touch. You will want to hug him and kiss him, even though you know you can’t.
You know you can’t do that to yourself, so you avert your gaze and continue walking, even when every atom of your being is telling you to turn around.
No one mentions this when they tell you to move on, like it’s easier for you to try if you don’t know the truth.
They don’t tell you that you will want him back, even if you know he’s not good for you.
Most of us have loved someone who wasn’t right for us.
However, you loved him and even when he made you doubt yourself, you never doubted the love you felt for him.
He made you believe that you didn’t deserve to be treated with kindness and love.
He made you believe that the things he did for you were the most you could get from anyone.
You know that it was anything but the truth.
Now you see how you shouldn’t have let him believe that your standards weren’t too high or that you weren’t high-maintenance.
You were asking for the bare minimum, but he wasn’t able to give you that.
Even if all of this is true, you still want him back.
You rationally know you shouldn’t, you know that it’s a stupid idea, but you cling on to the good memories you made with him.
There were times when he was the only person who could make you smile.
When you were sad, you only asked for his attention, because no one made you feel as safe as he did.
You want that back so badly. Every part of you is telling you to run back to him, but you know that you need to move on.
Why hasn’t anyone told you how much it hurts to walk away from someone you loved? Moving on isn’t as easy as people make it out to be.
They don’t tell you that moving on takes time, but that you will get through it.
People forget to say that things take time, especially something as emotionally draining as the process of getting over someone.
Your friends and family make it seem like it’s a piece of cake. However, let me be the first one to tell you that moving on takes A LOT of time.
Years from now, you will find yourself in a situation where you will think of him and it will still hurt.
When you see him after all those years of trying to forget him, it will still hurt.
You have to know that it’s OK. It’s all right because emotions can’t be tamed and you shouldn’t even try to tame them.
You will be all right and you will continue with your life like nothing was ever wrong.
They don’t tell you that finding someone new doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve moved on.
You will try to run away from your emotions, but they will catch up with you.
Even when you do find someone loving and caring, your mind will drift back to the past.
But it’s OK. It’s all right.
Even with your emotional baggage, you will find someone who will take care of you and love you just the way you deserve to be loved.
He will understand what you went through and he will be there for you the entire journey.
He will love you unconditionally and he won’t mind helping you move on from your past relationship.
This man will be there for you throughout the entire ride and that is exactly why moving on is worth it.
Moving on is worth the pain and the waiting when you know that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
You can’t just give up and go back when there is a wonderful life waiting for you on the other side of the pain.
That why you need to keep going. Move on.
They might not tell you the truth about moving on, but everyone who does say it, says it for your own good.
You can do this. Move on and be happy. You don’t need him.