The moment you broke up with me, you made me a participant in the worst battle of my life. The one with myself.
Because breaking up with a girl who has anxiety isn’t only about ending a relationship with her. It’s also about her convincing herself that she’ll never be worthy of love.
If you’re a girl who suffers from anxiety, then you know that from the very beginning of your relationship, you start creating a mental list of reasons why your boyfriend will leave you.
On that list, he’s never part of the problem. It’s you who’ll tear up the relationship because you don’t see anything good about yourself.
So, even before a breakup, your mind is already filled with thoughts that your boyfriend will leave you. You have thoughts that your relationship won’t work because you’re too clingy.
You don’t think he should even love you in the first place because you don’t think you deserve that.
You’ve been overthinking every moment of your relationship, always looking for something to cling to. You create a series of stories in your head.
You’ve been used to the idea of breaking up because you always have the feeling that you’re not good enough.
You always convince your boyfriend that there’s someone else who’s made for him because you’re just too much of a burden.
But no matter how many times you’ve thought about him leaving you because he can’t deal with you anymore, it’s never easy to really go through that process.
All this time, him breaking up with you was a made-up story in your head. It wasn’t real but it most certainly played with your self-esteem.
But now, things have got real. The moment he told you that he didn’t think that he was a good fit for you, your whole world fell apart.
Someone could say that your anxiety and overthinking made you prepared for every possible scenario. But it’s impossible to know what comes after your boyfriend actually breaks up with you.
Typically, a breakup is about learning to reinvent yourself and living on your own after you’ve been used to always having someone next to you.
But in this case, a breakup is a mental battle of, “I told you so,” and, “No one will ever love you.”
It analyzes every word that has been said. It clings to everything that could serve as a reason for the breakup.
Of course, she finds guilt in herself and hates herself a bit harder. Because she believes that she’s responsible for the end of the relationship.
She’ll call every one of her friends and tell them the story behind the breakup, from beginning to end. Maybe they’ll notice something that she missed or maybe they’ll realize what really happened.
And no matter how many times everyone tells her that she did nothing wrong and that two of them simply weren’t meant to be, she won’t take that for an answer.
In her head, she is the one to blame. Period.
She’ll think about her flaws and blame them for losing the one guy who was supposed to love her. She’ll try to think of everything she could’ve done differently.
The aftermath of breaking up with a girl who has anxiety looks like her worst nightmare. All she sees will be mistakes that she thinks she has made.
At this point, it’s impossible for her to accept the fact that she did nothing wrong. Because in her head, her whole existence is a mistake.
She’s her own worst enemy, the one who wants to see her on the ground. She’s the actual reason why she can’t fall asleep at night because she keeps convincing herself that she’s the one who made a mistake.
Her life turned upside down and now, she has no idea how to fix things up.
How do you repair the damage when you’re the one who keeps making it? How do you stop yourself from cutting yourself on those sharp edges of a failed relationship when you’re the one who’s broken it?
The moment you broke up with a girl who has anxiety, you made her doubt herself ten times harder. You made her question her decisions and her worth.
Maybe it all seems like nonsense but this is her reality. She’ll be dwelling on this breakup for longer than you’d expect.
And even when she meets someone else, she’ll be afraid of a relationship with them because of the past trauma that will keep chasing after her.
So, if you’re a girl with anxiety who just went through a breakup, please be kind to yourself. If you know anyone who fits these words, please be kind to them.
Because the aftermath of breaking up with a girl who has anxiety is much more intense than you may think.
That breakup ruins her last atoms of confidence. It makes her believe in all those negative words she says about herself.
That breakup shapes her differently and reassembles all of the pieces of a puzzle that were already in the right places.
After a breakup, she needs to start from the beginning again. She needs to build herself up from top to bottom.
All of the lessons she thought she knew will need to be re-evaluated once more. Her self-love will be missing and she’ll intensely feel that she’s not good enough for anyone.
Looking for closure, trying to see her worth, and fighting harder day after day to get out of the bed – those things will be her new reality.
She’ll have to focus all of her energy on one aspect of her life because she believes that’s what defines her from now on.
Right now, she doesn’t know that all of the pain will pass and that in no time, she’ll be able to laugh again.
No, she won’t fake a laugh. Instead, she’ll be genuinely happy because her breakup took her to a place where she’d been destined to get to.
Everything will make sense. Just wait for the pain to pass.