I genuinely believed you were the man for me.
I’d imagine our kids running around while we’d watch them with all the fondness in this world.
The one thing I wanted to do was hold you close. I wanted to hug you every night and kiss you every day.
Things weren’t that bad between us – when I gave myself permission to dream.
I’d fall asleep thinking of you and what we’d do the next day. Together. As if being apart was never even an option.
You know the feeling when you’re so infatuated by someone that everything they do and say equates to perfection? You were that for me.
No one could have said anything bad about you – I didn’t even hear their words. I’d cast them out and pretend like I never heard anything at all.
Because that’s what you were to me. Absolute perfection.
I thought that you were the man for me. No one else but you.
So why am I here now all alone, you might be wondering? You haven’t seen me in quite a while and my words might seem confusing right now.
Why would I keep saying these things if we aren’t together anymore?
I hope you understand that I’m talking about a past, long gone. I’m talking about a man who was a mere facade and nothing more.
You’re probably surprised to find out that I’m completely over you right now.
We’re both surprised by this development, by the way. We both knew that I would be a wreck without you.
I loved you more than you could ever be able to love me.
That same love is the reason why I cried myself to sleep more times than I can count.
Those nights I’d remember you and wish with all my might to have you here by my side.
Instead, I was always met with cold bedsheets and mornings where I’d look for you next to me, just to wake up disappointed.
But I guess I should thank you.
I should thank you for showing me that you really weren’t the man for me. You weren’t the right man for someone who wanted effort and love.
That’s just a straight up fact.
You still think that I was too needy and clingy, and that my nagging was the one thing that drove you away. But take a moment to reflect on our relationship.
You never once seemed as if you wanted to be there.
You always looked like you were forced to endure me and the bad days, just so that you could get to a moment of peace.
Yes, I’d cook for you, clean for you, be there for you whenever you needed me.
But what about all those times I needed you?
At one point, I was scared to ask you to listen to me talk about the things that were happening in my life. I’m not exaggerating, I’m telling the honest truth.
Whenever I’d come home from a long day and wanted to just share a meal together and spend some time with you, you said that I was asking for too much.
You made me believe that my needs were too much for one man to handle.
As if I’d asked you to pull the stars from the sky and not just listen to me rant about how awful my day was.
Every time I asked you to set your phone down and actually listen to what I was saying, you’d roll your eyes like you couldn’t get away from me fast enough.
After a while, I just stopped trying to ask you and I started to shut up about things.
I didn’t fight with you, I didn’t bother including you in my life, and I certainly didn’t bother you with my issues.
I guessed that that was what you needed from me at that point. The lost little girl I was back then – she needed you to stay. So I’d just shut up and take your moods.
You said I was extremely boring at the end. You said that I was the reason you couldn’t stay home for too long.
A man like you couldn’t even bother to understand the things that I was saying or the emotions I was experiencing.
All you did care about was your own needs and desires.
You desired me when it suited you and the very moment I’d deny you, you’d throw a tantrum like a spoiled kid.
At the beginning of our relationship, I actually thought that you were adorable. I thought that you wanted me so bad that you’d get mad.
Afterward, I finally realized that you weren’t the man for me. Thank you so much for showing me that truth before things went too far.
Thank you for leaving me and breaking my heart.
The little girl who was broken and crying her eyes out because of you is long gone. She is now a strong woman who knows what she wants!
I know now that you’re not the man for me. I know it because the man who I want to spend eternity with is kind, strong, caring, and understanding.
He isn’t someone who’d leave me the very moment things get just a little bit complicated.
He isn’t someone who’d abandon me just because things are hard.
One day when I do find him, he’ll be so much better than you. He’ll show me that relationships should never be a game of cat and mouse.
The man for me will be someone who’ll fight for me and not against me.
You are obviously not that man and I actually feel so ashamed now for ever thinking that.
It was obvious from the very beginning that you didn’t care about anyone else but yourself.
So thank you for leaving me. Thank you for walking out on me and giving up on us.
Without that, I wouldn’t have known that you were never the guy I was looking for.
Now I’m free to go out and find the man who actually deserves me.