Life’s pretty funny, isn’t it? You spend the entirety of your childhood and adulthood waiting for something. Watching as everything passes while you’re busy trying to keep up with everyone else’s ideals and ideas. Hoping you won’t get left behind. “Stop waiting for a man to pick you,” you think to yourself.
“Stop waiting for other people to notice your worth,” you turn your head to the other side as you remember every single time you’ve ever wasted your potential because you were waiting for something or someone.
“C’mon, stop waiting for things to happen to you! Go out there and make them happen.”
Your childhood flashes before your eyes as you’re trying to think about something else. You remember the apprehensive uncertainty of waiting for your friends to pick you for a team at school. You hear everyone’s names and everyone’s childish happiness, but yours.
And, you keep whispering to yourself “pick me, pick me,” hoping someone can hear you. You would never say that out loud, you would never stand out for yourself because you wouldn’t want them to think you care. So, they pick you for the wrong team and you’re left hoping things would be better next time.
“God, why am I putting myself through this whirlwind of emotions!?” Your mind shifts back to the time when you were a little older, getting to know yourself better and spending every Saturday with your friends hoping to get noticed by a boy.
And what do you know!? While you’re praying to God you don’t end up being the only one who didn’t get noticed, your friends are having the time of their lives on the dancefloor (completely unaware of the fact that you’re starving for attention and validation).
“Stop waiting for a guy to pick you, pick yourself.” Or at least that’s what you wish you told yourself back then. You wish you knew when to stop waiting for things to happen and when to take things into your own hands. You wish you knew to take control of your own life and destiny.
Now that you’re older and wiser, you know better than to compare yourself to others. You know better than to wish you were doing more. You know better than to wish you were more productive, more popular, or even more beautiful than others. Or at least that’s what you wish you knew.
Don’t be hard on yourself. Society is annoyingly successful at brainwashing women into thinking their worth depends on their weight, the way they dress, the success of the men they’re dating, and the triumphs of their children.
You’re wasting your time waiting for a man to pick you. Trust me, there are so many other women doing the same thing because society brainwashed them into thinking that they need a man’s approval to feel validated, heard, and appreciated.
That they need a man’s eyes on them to feel good enough. That they need to wait for a man to tell them what to do, instead of going out there and doing whatever they want.
But, don’t you dare spend another minute of your life doing what society keeps wanting you to do. You’re better than that – and you’re completely, utterly, and unequivocally capable of doing better than that.
Sure, you have room for improvement. Your self-destructive thoughts and self-doubts have gotten the best of you on more than one occasion. Your heard-headedness and perverse persistence have gotten you in trouble more times than you can count.
But, don’t you dare for one second think anybody in this world can do a better job at being you than… you. You don’t have to wait for a man to pick you when you can pick yourself. Pick yourself over everyone else. Pick yourself over everyone else’s erroneous narratives and nonsensical assumptions.
Your thoughts circle back to that time when you were waiting for someone to pick you for a team. You remember your palms sweating as you were trying to whisper your own name hoping someone would hear it and say it out loud.
You remember your eyes welling up with tears as you were trying not to cry when someone finally did. “OMG, I thought they’d never pick me! I thought I’d be the last one standing!” But, you also remember the feeling of utter helplessness when you figured out you weren’t picked for the team you wanted.
Your teammates didn’t include you. They never passed you the ball or let you play with them. They never acknowledged your efforts or celebrated your scores. Sure, they picked you – but you started to think you might have been better off on your own rather than being picked by someone who didn’t appreciate you.
You can probably tell where we’re going with this by now!? Stop waiting for a man to pick you unless you’re 100% sure he’s worth the wait. You don’t want to end up in a relationship with someone based on an idea of what your life’s supposed to be like.
You don’t want to end up in a relationship with someone based on your own insecurities and doubts, or even worse, on your own fear of being alone and feeling left out. You’re better than that. And you deserve better than that.
You deserve to fall in love with yourself before you fall in love with someone else. You’re an amazing person with an incredible personality (and a mind of her own). And you’re long overdue to start treating yourself as such. To start treating yourself as someone worth love, appreciation, and acceptance.
And, ironically, you know what the best part of picking yourself is? You start shining your light onto other people and they start noticing you more, enjoying your company, and choosing to spend their time with you. You start oozing confidence and attracting people (men included) without ever lifting a finger.
Let them come to you because that’s what you deserve. You’re one of a kind – don’t let a man convince you otherwise just because he’s dumb enough to let you slip out of his fingers. You’re a masterpiece waiting to enrapture the right audience – and you’re the only audience you need.