“Stop telling me that you miss me!” I scream at my phone as I hear the familiar sound informing me I have a pending message. “Argh, can’t you just show up at my doorstep in the middle of the night with a bouquet of roses and a hand-written letter bearing your feelings of love and despair that we can’t be together!?”
I’ll be the first to admit that I might have bitten off more than I can chew with the late-night Bridgerton binge-watching sessions. But, I’ll also be the first to admit that I’m burning to feel the kind of love Simon and Daphe or Anthony and Kate felt for each other.
I can’t shake off this feeling that “Oh, I miss you, too!” isn’t anywhere as effective and touching as “I miss you more, my love! I’m writing a song that I plan on playing for you in person because I’m coming to see you ASAP!”
Neither Anthony nor Simon would be caught dead saying anything along the lines of ASAP, but you get the picture. There’s something within me that can’t shake the feeling that you’d find a way to show me you miss me on the off-chance you were serious.
That you’d find a way to show me you care about me for more than thirty seconds you need to write that maddening message. “Argh, let me show you what I mean when I tell you to stop telling me that you miss me! Just do one of these things instead!”
1. Show up
That’s right, I’m talking about showing up at my doorstep with some grand (or not-so-grand) romantic gesture (again). Don’t get things twisted – telling me you miss me doesn’t suck entirely, it’s just the laziest way of letting someone know you’re thinking about them.
Telling me you miss me sucks because you’re not making any effort to change the fact that you miss me. What do you expect me to do when you send me that “I miss you” text in the middle of the night. Send “I miss you, too” and call it a night like a crazy person!?
We both know that’s not going to happen because I want to know you’re willing to do a little bit of work to make the “missing me” part of this relationship a bit easier. Trust me, you don’t have to do the Patrick-in-10-Things-I-Hate-About-You thing and serenade me in from of the entire soccer team.
You don’t have to do the Noah-in-The-Notebook thing and build me my dream house. But, you need to stop telling me that you miss me. You need to show up and show me you miss me without ever letting those three words leave your mouth.
2. Write a letter
You can’t tell me there’s anything more romantic than mustering up the courage to bear your heart on a piece of paper and leave it at your one true love’s doorstep. Oh, you care about me!? You can’t wait to see me!? You miss me!? Get to writing, then!
Don’t you think it would be better to take the time out of your day to write me a couple of lines telling me about your day than hopping online to send me three little words? Don’t get me wrong, “I miss you” can be cute every now and then. But, a text like that gets watered down over time.
So, stop telling me that you miss me and start writing me a heartfelt letter when you want to share something sweet with me. Trust me, there’s hardly anything a girl would appreciate more than that!
3. Prepare a surprise
What do you think I’d prefer – hearing those three words as you’re preparing to leave the conversation or finding them placed everywhere around the apartment!? There’s something endearing about surprising someone without a reason or a hidden agenda.
You don’t have to wait for my birthday or Valentine’s day. Play me my favorite song over the phone, hand me a bunch of flowers you picked yourself from your neighbor’s garden, or even make my favorite Starbucks drink from scratch.
You don’t have to spend your entire paycheck or have your entire family help you out with an over-the-top grand gesture. Trust me, you can make me feel loved, appreciated, and missed with a simple surprise you prepared because you wanted to stop giving me lip service.
Hugging someone you love means different things to different people. But, one thing’s for sure – embracing someone you love develops a deeper, more meaningful relationship with that person than a simple one-liner. So yes, you can always share a hug with me!
Don’t get me wrong, you can talk my ears off about how much you miss me and can’t live without me (find me a woman who wouldn’t want to hear that). But, certain conversations need that boost of oxytocin that happens when the one you care about wraps their arms around you.
“Stop telling me you miss me, Ryan! Come over here and hug me like your life depends on it!” – it sounds like a line straight out of a bad movie. But let’s face it, that movie seems to have some great advice for people who are trying to keep their relationship happy and healthy.
5. Make a homemade meal
One of the best ways to make someone feel loved, appreciated, and taken care of is to make them a homemade meal. There’s something so special about taking the time of your day to cut up some veggies, roast some meat, and prepare a heart-warming meal for someone you love.
“The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” – and that counts for women too! Making the woman you love a homemade meal doesn’t only show her you miss her, it shows so much more than that.
So, stop telling me you miss me and start making me that baked feta pasta that’s everywhere on TikTok. Or even better, try out every single recipe that’s ever gone viral. Trust me, there’s no better way to my heart.