Once you fall in love, the last thing that’s on your mind is a breakup. But sometimes, it happens – even when you least expect it.
The person you gave your heart and soul to realized that he doesn’t want you in his life anymore. He packed his bags and physically left your life.
But their presence remains in the corners of your heart and mind. You don’t see him anymore, but you still feel the consequences of his actions.
Besides the pain and the constant idea that you weren’t good enough, there’s one thing he leaves as well: questions. A ton of unresolved questions on why your relationship didn’t work.
Was it because of something you did? Did he even love you? Why did he decide to leave you?
You ask yourself these questions, desperately trying to figure out the answers. But it’s all in vain.
That’s when it hits you that the only person who can give you closure is the one who decided to break your heart in the first place. So, you get this obsessive need to talk with him, thinking that he’ll provide you with the resolution you’re compulsively looking for.
That’s when you push yourself into the pool of pain. Even though you don’t realize it at first, you make yourself suffer even more the moment you start looking for closure in the person who walked away from you.
You call him, but he never picks up. You send him text after text, but you get no reply. Even if you had to knock on his door, you know he won’t open it for you.
And the idea that the person who once shared a bed with you is acting like you don’t even exist hurts more than the fact that he left you. It feels like the most intense pain in the world.
But you keep trying and trying because you believe no one else can help you but him.
The truth is, the main reason you keep running after him is that you want him to see that he’s made a mistake. You want him to realize that he shouldn’t have left you in the first place.
But you cover that up with the excuse that you’re only looking for closure. Until your heart breaks into pieces the minute you realize he’s not willing to help you in your mission.
That’s when you start blaming the lack of closure for every bad thing that happens in your life.
You’re unable to move on because you still don’t know what actually happened. You’re unable to heal and let go because you want to know why he decided to leave you.
And you can’t change for the better and fix your mistakes since you don’t know the reason for his departure.
It looks like closure is the only thing you need right now, and you’re unable to get it from the person who owes it to you.
That’s the first mistake you’re making…
We always think that those who break our hearts have an obligation to provide us with closure. We would even stick to some lame explanation about why they left if it means that they’d just talk with us.
But what you don’t realize is that closure comes from within. It’s something you can easily give to yourself, as impossible as that feels right now.
One day, you’ll be sitting on your terrace, looking at the stars and sipping on your coffee. All of a sudden, you’ll receive closure from your failed relationship.
Out of the blue, and far away from the person who broke your heart, you’ll lead a conversation with yourself and realize that you’ve finally gotten what you were desperately looking for.
The body of the person won’t be there next to you, but you’ll get the feeling as if you’re talking to him. That weird feeling that he’s there even though you can’t see him.
That will be your mind, finally giving closure to your heart.
You’ll realize that running after the impossible makes no sense. It’s time to stop the pain and let yourself heal.
You’ve been grieving for way too long and now is the time to put an end to that process. It’s time to let go of the burdens from the past as they’re stopping you from enjoying your present.
Just like that, you’ll realize that you need to move on and that you shouldn’t let your happiness depend on the person who broke your heart.
If he didn’t want to give you closure, you’ll give it to yourself.
You’ll hear yourself saying those words that you forgive him for everything he did and didn’t do, and at that moment, you’ll finally feel free.
You’ll feel light because all of the baggage you’ve been carrying around will fall off your shoulders. All of the pain you’ve been dealing with will evaporate into thin air.
Instead of hatred for the person who broke you, you won’t feel any negative emotions toward him. You’ll accept the fact that your relationship is over and finally let yourself move on.
At that moment, you’ll figure out that all this time, you could’ve given yourself the closure you desperately looked for.
You could’ve saved yourself from all those sleepless nights and desperate attempts to have a talk with the one who broke your heart.
And even though you didn’t know it at the time, the trigger to end your pain was hiding within you. The only thing you needed to do was accept your relationship was over and show yourself that you’re able to survive through it.
You were holding your closure in your heart, and you simply had to let it get to your mind.