How many breakups have we witnessed that have ended with both parties finding closure?
It’s a cruel game when you think of it.
There’s no perfect ending to a relationship where we feel that we’ve ended things and really embraced that.
There is no perfect breakup where you can just decide to stay friends with each other and be there for each other in times of need.
If you were to choose your perfect ending, it would end in a way that lets your heart heal faster.
When you look around now, everything reminds you of him. Your heart skips a beat and it hurts all over again.
When will the pain stop? Is there even a way to mend your broken heart? Or is your only option to let time do its thing?
You and I both know that relationships are hard work. They require effort and mutual understanding, and the endings are always messy.
Even when you’ve been preparing for a long time to break up with this person, the ending still hurts.
You have to look someone in the eyes while you’re ending the relationship. You have to see the disbelief and shock in their eyes.
Then imagine how you must look when someone decides to break up with you. Your heart shatters inside you and the pain sends you into a fit of sobs.
When the person you thought was your soulmate says “We’re done,” closure doesn’t come easily.
Finding closure is like a game that you can’t win.
There isn’t the perfect remedy for a broken heart.
It’s because of the memories that you hold on to. They’re always there to remind you of the past you had and future you wished for.
You wished for him to be your forever. You wanted to love him in sickness and in health, good times and bad, but things didn’t go as planned.
That, right there, is why closure is so hard to find.
We hold on to those what-ifs and go through life wondering what would’ve happened if we’d fought just a little harder.
What if he was testing you to see how serious you were about the relationship?
What if there were things you could’ve avoided in the relationship? Would he still be by your side if you tried just a bit harder?
Those questions are a constant in your mind, but believe me when I tell you, it doesn’t matter anymore.
Relationships – even those that only almost happened – end for good enough reasons and you should never wish to go back to them.
Even if you believe that you could have done things differently, you still went your own separate ways for a reason.
One of you decided that love wasn’t going to be enough in this situation and you needed to part ways.
Because of that, you can’t just beg someone to change their mind.
Instead of that, you need to find the closure you need.
Crying about it won’t help you move on. Moping over what could’ve been and that long list of what-ifs isn’t going to bring you anywhere in life.
These things won’t bring you happiness and you know it just as well as I do.
Closure is the most important thing right now. Without closure, your happiness will always be out of reach for you.
You’re going to think of me as crazy when I tell you this, but believe me: Sometimes, finding closure just takes one day.
Hear me out. Closure is the process of closing a chapter in your life. And this particular chapter has been open for too long.
You still mourn your last relationship like he’s going to come back to you the more you cry yourself to sleep at night.
Maybe this is something you don’t want to hear, but you are the one in control!
You are the one making the decision to hold on to a past that will never be seen in your future.
All of those daydreams you have about the two of you are exactly that – a figment of your own imagination.
So don’t let yourself stay inside that overthinking mind of yours for too long, because you will regret it.
Life is passing you by and you’re a bystander who’s waiting for closure without even trying to find it.
By no means am I saying that finding closure is an easy task. But it is one that you can accomplish in less than a day.
Make the decision and close that chapter of your life.
It’s like a switch inside your head and heart. You simply decide that you are officially done with him.
This may also be followed by a manic series of deleting his pictures from your phone, and blocking his number and social media.
All of these things are extremely necessary.
If you have any more things left behind from your time spent together, pack them all up. Throw away what you can and send the rest to his house.
No, don’t go there personally. As said before, you are done with him! You made the decision to find closure and this is your chance.
Send the box with his stuff to his house through a friend or even mail it back. It’ll be easier if you don’t have to see him again.
With that said, delete every single text you ever got from him.
You must be freaking out and panicking right now because those things are sacred to you.
You want to keep a little part of him with you, but believe me when I say you don’t need it.
That man is gone. He isn’t part of your life anymore and he won’t ever be again. It doesn’t matter how much you wish for it to happen, it won’t.
When you do make that decision and decide that it’s finally time to move on and give yourself the closure you need, it doesn’t mean that it’ll stop hurting.
You will still remember him at times. You will still miss him and the thought of him will be painful.
But that’s normal. We are human and emotions make us who we are.
Because of that, let yourself feel. And even if you cry your eyes out while letting go of the last remaining reminder of him, do it.
Cry your eyes out, but find the closure you need.