All marriages have their ups and downs and getting a divorce doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. But here you are, wondering whether or not there are signs your wife is changing her mind about the divorce.
Many married couples have been through this and lived to see another day. Even if it seems as if your wife is distant and cold toward you, it doesn’t have to be that her heart doesn’t belong to you anymore.
Maybe she’s going through a tough period in her life right now and doesn’t know how to talk to you about it.
Communication is one of the pillars of a healthy marriage. Without it, there’s no way for your marriage to succeed, period!
The thing is, perhaps you thought that your marriage was going to be perfect. Well, I’m not going to lie to you and say that I didn’t think the same but relationships, as well as marriages, aren’t all rainbows and sunshine.
It takes a lot of work, dedication, and sacrifices for both people to work on their differences, grow together, and stay loyal to each other at all times.
Keep in mind that marriage is a union of two different people – people who may not have the same background or personality as each other. So there will be always different opinions and ways of doing things.
However, if you can’t see eye to eye on the important things in life, then divorce may be inevitable. Don’t lose hope just because you’ve talked about going your separate ways, though, as sometimes, your significant other may change their mind.
Luckily for you, there are signs your wife is changing her mind about the divorce.
Reasons why your wife may change her mind about the divorce
Before we jump right into the signs showing your wife is changing her mind about the divorce, it’s important that you understand the reason behind her decision. So, here’s why your wife may want to give you a second chance:
1. You’re high school sweethearts
One of the reasons why your wife may not want to go through with the divorce could be because you’re high school sweethearts.
It’s tough for both a man and a woman to go their separate ways if they’ve only dated each other and no one else.
Why? Because you’re afraid that no one may love you like they did.
If you’re the only guy she’s ever dated, kissed, or even hugged romantically, then that could be the reason why she’s reconsidering the divorce.
Perhaps neither of you knew what you were getting yourself into when you decided to get married.
You probably thought that everything would go well and the love you had for each other would stay the same. Or it could be that you got married while you were still young.
But after a while, your relationship became a bit stale, even though your marriage isn’t that bad.
She grew tired of the repetitiveness as every day was the same, which could be the reason why she was considering separating from you in the first place.
I understand that it came as a shock to you to hear your wife saying those words. After all, you’ve loved her all these years and you can’t believe that she would even think about dating other guys.
2. Getting a divorce is expensive
Perhaps you two went to couples therapy and the therapist suggested that you get a divorce since you can’t agree on many things that are important for a couple.
But after your wife saw how expensive getting a divorce is, she quickly changed her mind.
This is something that happens quite often, even though people don’t like to talk about it. However, not everyone realizes that there are countless costs associated with a divorce proceeding.
Some people can even go completely bankrupt if they manage their finances poorly and not many couples are aware of the hidden costs that seem to pop out of nowhere when divorcing, such as court fees and taxes.
Maybe your wife didn’t consider how expensive the divorce could get and instead of going through with it, she decided to give your love a second chance.
3. She’s worried about a loss of identity
It’s difficult to understand now but once divorce happens, both the wife and the husband may lose their identity. They have a hard time finding a new one or going back to what it was like before they married.
You have to remember that marriage gives us a strong identity in this world, while divorce takes it all away.
Even though your marriage has troubles (like everyone else’s), you two still share a special bond and have the security of knowing that you are this person’s significant other. And all of that is gone once the divorce papers are signed.
Maybe your wife rethought about divorcing you because she thought she would lose her identity. She realized that she’d quickly change from being a Mrs to a Ms.
Also, she would have to change back to her maiden name or continue identifying with a name that no longer reflects who she is.
4. The divorce will hurt her emotionally
Knowing that you’ll go home and not see your significant other there can be emotionally devastating for some people. All those hopes and dreams that you had with your spouse suddenly disappear and you’re left to fight on your own.
Divorce means that you’re separated from the one person you believed would always be there for you, giving you unconditional love and holding your hand when you needed it. And with separation comes great pain.
Perhaps your wife realized that and that’s the reason why she decided to give your love a second chance. Maybe she had thought she could alleviate the pain she would feel after the divorce with a new relationship.
However, she quickly became aware that old wounds heal slowly. Also, she understands that leaving you would completely change her.
And why is that? Well, because everything you thought to be real and true is gone after divorcing and she knows that.
Signs your wife is changing her mind about the divorce
1. Her body language changes
One of the first signs your wife is changing her mind about the divorce is her body language. If you didn’t know by now, body language is nonverbal communication, where physical behavior or interaction conveys certain information.
There are various types of body language expressions such as posture, eye contact, touch, and the use of space. So what happens when your wife wants to divorce you?
Well, in that case, she won’t want to be near you at all or try to communicate with you in any way. Her facial expressions will tell you that she doesn’t want to stay married to you and she won’t hold any eye contact with you.
Basically, she’ll try to avoid you whenever and wherever she can. On the other hand, if your wife is changing her mind about the divorce, then she’ll display positive body language.
What does that mean? Well, it includes her trying to find a way to be close to you.
She may ‘accidentally’ brush up against you or show any type of affection that can help you decipher what’s going on inside her mind.
2. She often mentions happy memories
When the two of you get a chance to be alone together, what do you talk about? Do you only argue and point out each other’s flaws?
Do you talk about children, future plans, or household chores? Or do you talk about your past and reminisce about happy memories?
If she keeps insisting on talking about the ‘good old times’, that means she misses those wonderful moments she got to share with you. She’s purposely using those random events as a means to refer to your shared past.
Also, her goal is to improve your marriage, which is why she’s holding on to those memories. Her longing for those past times reflects her emotions that she feels toward you.
Her love for you didn’t just vanish all of a sudden. It’s there but you have to unlock it again.
Whether or not you realize it, it’s up to you to make her change her mind.
3. She has jealousy outbursts
Sometimes people make the mistake of thinking that jealousy is always rather negative. One of the possible meanings of it can be that the other person is possessive or controlling but that doesn’t always have to be the case.
Other times, it can be considered as a sign your wife isn’t ready to move on from your marriage. Believe it or not, jealousy can be a positive reaction.
Think about it this way. If she didn’t care for you at all and if she didn’t love you, then she wouldn’t care about what you decide to do with your life.
She would focus on herself and wouldn’t bother making any plans with you at all.
However, if your wife starts asking how your day has been or what plans you have for the evening, then it may mean she isn’t ready to go through with the divorce.
Keep in mind that some people have a hard time showing their true emotions. Jealousy could be her way of showing that she’s still into you and that she loves you.
You never know.
4. She calls you a lot
Another sign your wife’s changing her mind about the divorce is when she contacts you or specifically calls you a lot.
If she didn’t care for you at all, if your emotional state wasn’t important to her, then she would give you the silent treatment and leave you alone.
However, if she constantly calls you, even though she knows she’ll see you after work, then you know that she’s reconsidering the divorce.
But what’s so special about calling? Well, texts are usually reserved for those who want to check on you, to see how you’re holding up.
That’s just being friendly and doesn’t have any secret agenda at all. Calling, on the other hand, means something different.
She calls you because she wants to establish a deeper connection with you. She misses your voice, which is why she calls several times a day.
Remember that calling is more than catching up; it’s a sign that she still cares about you.
5. Your communication improves
When a woman wants you out of her life, then she’ll use the no contact rule or silent treatment to make her point.
On the other hand, if your communication has improved over the last month or two, then you can be sure that it’s a sign your wife is changing her mind about the divorce.
Suddenly, she’ll be more invested in your interactions and willing to listen to you. On top of that, she’ll start reminiscing about good times and crack jokes even if she knows she isn’t quite the comedienne.
These are all obvious signs that she’s ready to give your marriage a second chance. Now is the perfect opportunity to let her know what you still feel about her and to apologize if you’ve hurt her in any way.
Be an active listener and don’t just stare at her. Engage in conversation and prove to her that you’re still the man of her dreams.
6. She seeks your attention
If you didn’t know, there are many ways a wife may try to get your attention. Perhaps she asks you to help her with grocery shopping or to join her in the gym.
All of a sudden, if your wife is changing her mind about the divorce, her behavior will change.
She may want to show affection by constantly asking you to hug her, when you know very well that she’s not a hug-lover, or she may wear that dress you like seeing on her.
Either way, these are moves you can expect if your wife’s trying to save your marriage and isn’t considering divorcing you any longer.
A woman who’s ready for the next chapter of her life would never do such a thing. Instead, she would give you the cold shoulder.
Tips you can follow to successfully make her change her mind
It’s natural for you to be worried if your spouse is saying that it’s over and she wants a divorce. However, if you’re having a tough time changing her mind, you can follow these tips to try to win her heart back.
1. Turn your arguments into moments of laughter
Sometimes a couple gets into a heated argument and lets their emotions govern their actions. As a consequence of that, they treat each other in a cold, unfriendly, or distant way.
However, if you and your wife continue to communicate in an unhealthy way and constantly fight with each other, the chances of rekindling the old flame and making her reconsider the divorce are slim to none.
Instead, both of you will feel betrayed, misunderstood, and hurt and your marriage will never be the same. Eventually, you’ll go your separate ways.
But don’t worry because you can fix that by making her feel better about herself and your marriage. So how do you achieve it?
Well, first, you can try to avoid having pointless arguments about things that are irrelevant to your marriage. Just focus on making her laugh and feeling good to be around you again.
For example, if she gets angry at you about something, rather than reacting the usual way, you can turn things around and say something that will make her smile. Give her a compliment or say something that you know she finds funny.
However, be aware not to constantly crack jokes or not take seriously anything that she says.
Simply put, look for things that are positive to laugh about together in those stressful moments, rather than getting stuck in an endless cycle of negative emotions and arguing.
If you can make her smile, she’ll drop her guard when she’s with you and it’ll make it more difficult for her to even think about continuing with the divorce.
She’ll begin feeling good around you again and the negative things in your marriage will have less impact on her mental well-being.
2. Be the man she wants you to be
I understand that you’re hurt by the fact that your wife is considering getting a divorce but unless she has a very good reason to do so, she wouldn’t.
One of the first things you can do to improve your chances of keeping your wife is to get rid of any insecurities that may be coming between you. Those insecure thoughts automatically change your behavior and actions.
Consequently, you start giving up your hobbies and interests to spend more time with her and you question her love for you all the time.
Those negative thoughts can change you completely and you can become increasingly jealous and controlling as time passes.
Although your heart may be in the right place, this type of behavior will certainly drive your woman away from you.
So, if you’ve been insecure in some way and she’s thinking about divorcing you, then you have to show her that you’ve changed for the better.
You have to prove to her that you’re the man she wants you to be. Believe in yourself more and work every day on improving some little things about yourself because they really do make a difference.
3. Accept that you may have hurt her
As I mentioned earlier, if your wife’s considering divorcing you, it certainly wasn’t a rash decision. You may have done something that potentially hurt the person you love and that’s why she’s been thinking about it.
Perhaps you used to listen to her but didn’t truly hear what she was saying to you or maybe you didn’t prioritize her enough and quite possibly took her for granted.
And I understand that it wasn’t your intention to hurt her but sometimes that happens.
Showing that you’re hurt is a very difficult task. More often than not, it’s masked by anger or resentment and it can also take the form of indifference or misunderstanding.
Whatever the case may be, your wife’s going to guard her heart with everything she has so that she won’t be hurt by you again.
What you should do is admit that you have (consciously or unconsciously) harmed the woman you love so much.
Admit this both to yourself and to your wife if you wish to reconnect with her again.
4. Actions speak louder than words
You’ve heard of this before but you may be wondering whether it’s really true. Well, I’m here to tell you that it is and that it can improve your marriage overall.
You can say the most beautiful things to your wife and make promises but if you don’t follow through with them, all of that is worthless.
Actions are more meaningful, as you have to put a lot of effort in and have the motivation to make them happen. The changes may not be visible at first but you have to stay persistent if you want to change what she thinks of you.
You’ve most likely hurt your wife when your actions didn’t match your words, which could be the reason why she considered divorcing you in the first place.
Perhaps you told her countless times that you love her but your actions didn’t match your words.
Or maybe you promised that you were going to be a bit more helpful around the house, only to find out that she’s been disappointed by you.
You proved to her that your words are worthless and as such, you have to rely on your actions to show her you deeply care for her. Through your actions, she’ll see that your, “I love you,” means more than just three simple words.
Surprise her with flowers, plan a romantic evening just for the two of you, or make her breakfast in bed. Be persistent in your intentions and fulfill your promises no matter what.
Only then can you rebuild her trust.
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