When you start seeing signs your husband doesn’t find you attractive anymore, it’s only natural to get worried. Does this mean that your marriage is falling apart?
Don’t jump to conclusions but keep reading to find out about all the signs your husband is no longer attracted to you. If he isn’t interested anymore, you’ll have to work on your marriage or even consider separating.
Before we get ahead of ourselves though, let’s see whether there’s really something to be worried about.
18 signs your husband doesn’t find you attractive
1. You don’t have healthy communication
It’s not possible to have a healthy marriage if you don’t have healthy communication. You need to know that proper communication is not just about mundane things and everyday responsibilities.
Naturally, you and your husband should talk about what you’re going to eat for dinner, for instance, but this shouldn’t be all you talk about.
If he’s not interested in having deep, meaningful conversations anymore, it may be because he’s losing interest.
Think about it, is he only willing to discuss tedious everyday things? When was the last time you had a proper conversation with your husband?
If you can’t answer these questions, there’s definitely a problem in your marriage.
Maybe he always used to make jokes and say funny things to impress you but now he doesn’t even try anymore.
It may be one of the signs your husband doesn’t find you attractive any longer, so he doesn’t see a need to impress or amuse you now.
2. He seems distant lately
When he hugs you, you should feel the warmth of his love and feel reassured that he cares about you. If he instead feels cold, absent, or distant, it shows that he’s pulling away from you.
There shouldn’t be any emotional distance between a husband and a wife, so this is a big problem in your marriage.
Maybe he acts less attentive and curter than he used to. This could be because of stress but it could also be one of the signs your husband doesn’t find you attractive anymore.
Either way, when your spouse seems distant, you should definitely try to figure out what’s going on.
3. He avoids spending time at home
If your man is no longer attracted to you, he’ll want to spend most of his time away from you. He will steer clear of being home to avoid dealing with the problem but also so you won’t notice a problem to even begin with.
The truth is, you likely have a reason to be concerned if your husband avoids spending time at home.
Maybe he’ll start spending more time with his friends or he’ll constantly come up with new things he can do with them just to have an excuse to be away from home. He may also spend more time at work or find a new hobby.
Whatever it is that he’s doing, if he finds excuses to spend time away from home, you have an issue. He’s trying to avoid you and it can’t go on forever.
4. He doesn’t engage in conversation
Being listened to and having a stimulating conversation is not the same. So, maybe your husband still listens to you when you talk but he doesn’t engage in conversation.
When you talk, he agrees with the things you say but it seems like he’s not even there. He’s just physically present while his mind is elsewhere.
He doesn’t offer his opinions and avoids disagreeing with you. He listens to you but he doesn’t process the information you give him and you get no feedback from him.
This may mean that he’s checked out of the marriage because he’s not attracted to you anymore.
5. He doesn’t enjoy spending time with you
Spending some time apart is actually healthy but not spending any time together is a serious problem.
Your husband should make spending time with you a priority. If he doesn’t even enjoy spending time with you any longer, it’s a bad sign.
Maybe he instead makes excuses not to spend time with you, which is one of the signs your husband no longer finds you attractive.
When he does happen to spend some time with you, he doesn’t enjoy it. You can clearly see that he’d much rather be doing something else instead of being with you.
Even if he stills helps around the house and takes walks with you, he’s not goofy and doesn’t make jokes like he used to.
It’s pretty clear that he doesn’t have fun when he’s with you, which can mean that he’s not attracted to you anymore.
6. He doesn’t show physical affection
Physical affection is part of a healthy marriage and it’s actually how spouses show one another that they’re still attracted to each other.
Therefore, a lack of physical affection is clearly one of the signs your husband doesn’t find you attractive anymore.
Showing physical affection is how you show love for each other in a non-verbal way. If your husband avoids showing it, it may be because he doesn’t feel any for you any longer.
He avoids touching you, he doesn’t hug you, and you don’t cuddle up next to one another anymore, which is a clear indication that there’s a big problem in your marriage.
When did the two of you last touch in a loving manner? If you can’t remember, the love is fading from your relationship.
7. He treats you like a friend or a roommate
Married couples are supposed to be friends but not just that. There’s a clear difference between a friend and a lover and attraction is what makes that difference.
When there’s no more attraction in your marriage, you’re left with a good friend, not a partner, but your husband should be much more than a close male friend to you.
Instead, he thinks of you as a roommate – a female friend he lives with – and that’s an obvious sign he no longer finds you attractive.
Even when you talk, you communicate like buddies, not lovers. Your conversations are friendly but there’s no longer any chemistry or desire.
8. He doesn’t like discussing the future anymore
In healthy relationships, you and your partner talk about your hopes and dreams for the future as much as possible. To entirely support each other, you need to know what your goals are and plan to achieve them from that day forward.
This is one of the reasons most couples talk a lot about the future. They have similar goals and they want to achieve them together.
It’s normal to look forward to something like that but your husband no longer looks forward to your future together.
He doesn’t even want to talk about it anymore and you can’t remember the last time you made plans for the long-term together.
How does he react when you try to discuss this with him? If he refuses to talk about it, changes the subject, or simply goes quiet, it’s a bad sign.
It could be true that he’s not attracted to you any longer and he doesn’t even see a future with you.
9. He thinks he already knows all there is to know about you
It’s not a secret that men love a good mystery and that it’s what keeps them interested but your husband thinks he already knows everything there is to know about you.
There’s no more mystery in your marriage or at least that’s what he thinks. Your husband reckons he knows all there is to know about you and that there’s nothing left to be revealed.
He’s bored in your marriage because he doesn’t think you can surprise him any longer and you notice this whenever you talk to him.
When you fight, he always assumes that he knows everything you’re about to say. He rolls his eyes and thinks nothing you say could surprise him.
You shouldn’t blame yourself for this because a loving husband doesn’t ever get bored with his wife. Even when he thinks he knows everything there is to know about her, he still finds the allure of mystery in his marriage.
If your spouse doesn’t, it’s one of the signs your husband doesn’t find you attractive anymore.
10. He talks to you but all the conversations you have are awkward
When you first fell in love with your husband, you could communicate easily with him. Saying the L-word seemed effortless and your conversations would simply flow.
Since the two of you were in love back then, everything was simple.
Now, you find it hard to get through these awkward conversations and you don’t feel comfortable around each other, which could mean that your man doesn’t find you attractive anymore.
It’s not uncommon for partners to occasionally have some uncomfortable conversations, as when talking about intimacy or finances, for example, it can take an awkward turn.
The problem in your marriage is that all your conversations have become like this, though, which is a sign of a big problem, as it’s a huge lack of healthy communication.
You don’t find it easy to talk to each other any longer and it shows that your feelings for each other have changed.
While this can be one of the signs your husband doesn’t find you attractive anymore, it could also mean that he may not even love you now.
11. You fight all the time
Arguments are a part of every relationship and all couples occasionally fight. All married couples go through rough patches but when your entire marriage starts seeming like one big difficult period, it’s a problem.
You and your man constantly fight lately and you don’t even argue about real issues. Maybe you fight about some mundane things, while there’s a much bigger underlying issue at play.
What you’re fighting about may not have anything to do with your man not being attracted to you but his lack of attraction toward you could be the real reason he argues with you.
He doesn’t know how to get his feelings out, so he lashes out at you over trivial things. If he’s especially snappy whenever you confront him about a lack of physical affection in your marriage, it’s a bad sign.
He’s not attracted to you anymore and he doesn’t know how to tell you, so he fights with you. It’s his way of trying to avoid dealing with the issue but it’s not going to go away on its own.
12. He stopped performing selfless acts of love
A person who loves you becomes selfless because love is selfless to begin with. This means that a man who loves you will make your needs a priority and put them above his own.
According to research, selflessness is attractive, so it might be what attracted you to your man in the first place. Now, things have changed and he prioritizes his own needs over yours.
Your husband is no longer the selfless man you fell in love with and this shows that he may not be attracted to you.
A selfless person uses their selflessness to show their attraction and love and men especially perform unselfish acts when they are physically attracted to a woman.
If your husband now does things without even considering your feelings, it’s not a good sign. He’s probably no longer attracted to you, so he doesn’t feel motivated to perform selfless acts to show his love.
13. He never gets jealous
In small amounts, jealousy can actually be very attractive. It can spice things up and increase the physical attraction between partners.
In big doses though, it can be toxic and even creepy. But there is a third option, which is that there’s no jealousy whatsoever.
Your husband never gets jealous anymore and you assume that it’s because he’s a mature man. Unfortunately, you could be wrong because he may instead think that you’re not worth the trouble.
Jealousy is a big part of every relationship and there’s a reason for that. A man gets jealous because he wants to spend eternity with his woman and doesn’t want anyone else to be with her.
If another man flirts with you and your husband doesn’t even react, it may be because he’s not attracted to you any longer. However, he may be hiding his jealous feelings but you know him best, so I’ll let you be the judge of that.
I do need to mention that just because he doesn’t flip out when your co-worker gives you a compliment, it isn’t a big deal. But if he doesn’t even pay attention when these things happen and gives no sign he even noticed, it’s a problem.
In some cases, your husband may encourage you to interact with other men. If this is what’s happening in your marriage, he may even want you to find someone else.
He doesn’t have the guts to tell you that he’s not attracted to you anymore so he just hopes that he won’t even have to if someone else steals you away.
14. He’s bored with you
While you’re talking to your man, he plays games, looks at his phone, or simply stares into the distance in boredom.
This behavior shows that he now thinks you’re dull and may be losing interest because he doesn’t find you as stimulating as he used to.
Naturally, occasionally having this issue while around each other is normal. If you’re having fun but your husband isn’t, though, it indicates that there’s a problem in your marriage.
Maybe he’s seemed bored for a while now and he hasn’t talked to you about what changed and caused this behavior. Talk to him and try to find out what’s been going on.
If he avoids answering or just accuses you of overreacting but keeps up with his behavior, it’s a bad sign. It shows that he may not feel the same about you now and a lack of attraction could be causing his boredom.
15. He looks at other women or flirts with them
If your husband often looks at other women or even flirts with them, there’s surely something wrong. He doesn’t pay any attention to you whenever another attractive woman walks by.
This is not what you signed up for and you and your husband were supposed to be committed to each other forever. Why is he so interested in other women then?
Maybe you’d ignore the flirting and consider it meaningless if he was giving you any attention but he doesn’t. He chats up other women and looks at them without even noticing that you’re there while he does so.
Your man doesn’t make you feel loved and couldn’t care less about how his behavior makes you feel. Maybe you suspect that he would even cheat on you or already has.
He doesn’t make you feel safe in your marriage and he’s lowering your self-esteem and self-confidence. You certainly don’t deserve this from him and it’s unacceptable.
When you feel uncomfortable, you have to speak up and voice your concerns. You have to figure out what’s going on inside his head and put a stop to his disrespectful behavior.
Maybe he’s not aware that his behavior is bothering you, however. If you haven’t said anything about it, he may assume that you’re okay with it, while you’re stressing yourself out in silence.
Express your concerns and if he doesn’t stop flirting with other women, it’s because he’s not attracted to you anymore. Men often look at other women but when he doesn’t even care that it bothers you, it’s a huge issue.
16. He’s not romantic anymore
Maybe you used to get love notes and roses from your man when you were first starting out as a couple. We all love these things and men are well aware of it.
Your husband doesn’t do these things any longer, though, and it’s gotten you worried.
A lot of us assume that when we’re married, it’s only natural for the romance to disappear from the relationship. This isn’t true though, as marriage and romance are actually supposed to go hand in hand.
In fact, many married men are very romantic and affectionate. If your husband isn’t affectionate or romantic, even though he used to be, something’s not right.
When your man doesn’t bother to show love with small romantic gestures, it’s a warning sign. It may mean that he’s not attracted to you now, so he doesn’t feel motivated to be romantic.
17. You suspect that he’s having an affair
One of the clearest signs your spouse doesn’t find you attractive is if you suspect that he’s having an affair or even know that he is.
Maybe you started seeing signs your husband has a crush on another woman or it’s simply in the way he’s been acting lately.
You don’t see him very often and he spends a lot of time away from home. He gets home late and may even smell of another woman’s perfume.
Maybe you even saw something on your man’s phone which indicates that he’s cheating on you.
If your husband is having an affair, it’s a sure sign he’s not attracted to you anymore. It’s also an indication that he’s not loyal to you and isn’t willing to work on your problems.
He runs away from your issues and he owes you more than that. You don’t deserve to be treated this way by the man you chose to spend the rest of your life with.
18. He isn’t willing to put any effort into your marriage anymore
For a marriage to be successful, both partners need to put the same amount of effort into making it work.
There’s no getting around this. Everyone knows that a relationship can’t be healthy unless both partners work on it and try to make it healthy.
A lot of married men make a conscious effort to surprise their wives with kind gestures of love every once in a while.
They buy them flowers, take them out on romantic dates, or simply spend some quality time together without any interruptions.
If your husband isn’t willing to put any effort into the relationship and no longer shows you love, it’s a problem. It may even be one of the signs your husband isn’t in love with you anymore.
You’ll have to confront him about this and see whether your marriage is worth fighting for.