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10 Signs You Will Never Find Love (Unless You Change)

10 Signs You Will Never Find Love (Unless You Change)

Sure, the whole world seems to be obsessed with romance over the romantic Christmas holidays or on that one random February day, but that doesn’t mean you have to. You’re perfectly happy. You’re dandy. You adore eating chocolate on your own. What are the sure signs you will never find love, again?

Whether it’s the holidays or the fact that your family can’t seem to let go of your ex, you might be wondering if there’s something wrong with you. You’re doing everything right. You’re going on a bunch of blind dates. You’re on every dating app. You’re doing everything you can. Or, are you?

Relationships are great when you’re consumed by the countless songs, poems, and renowned works of literature that try to capture the excitement and fear of falling head over heels. When you take your rose-colored glasses off, though, you might be taken aback by the fact that relationships are hard work, too.

Maybe you’re the one sabotaging your path toward a relationship after all. Maybe you’re too scared to admit that you’re not ready for a relationship although you’re dying to meet someone who convinces you otherwise. Whatever the case might be, now’s the time to break free from the pattern.

We’re bringing you some surprising signs you will never find love that might boost your chances to change them while you still can. Read on about why you might be struggling to find love and get to work.

10 surprising signs you will never find love and what to do about them

10 Signs You Will Never Find Love (Unless You Change)

1. You don’t think you deserve love

“I’m not in the best place to date right now.”

“I can’t meet your friend right away, I look like a mess!”

Without the right dose of confidence, you might think that you don’t deserve to meet the love of your life right now. Whether you’re struggling to accept that you’ve gained weight or that you’re not happy with your current career path, you might think that you’re not worthy of meeting someone you like.

Are you someone who struggles with low self-esteem and intense feelings of self-doubt? Are you pushing people away because you’re too scared to let them know the real you? Accept your flaws and work on them, but know that you’re worth whatever comes your way regardless of them.

2. You’re not putting yourself out there

We’ve all been told that we need to wait for the right person to come along and swoop us off our feet. We don’t need to do anything because true love always finds a way. While that’s a great way of looking at love, we don’t think that’s necessarily true.

You need to put yourself out there to attract your true love. You need to go out, push yourself out of your comfort zone, and spice up your routine. When you start saying “yes” to meeting new people and experiencing new things, you’re going to notice a world of difference.

3. You’re afraid of getting hurt

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Breakups are the worst, there’s no question about that. Before you even know what’s going on, you’re expected to move on from the one person you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with. What’s up with that? But you do need to press the restart button and open up to someone new.

Guarding your feelings and keeping your heart locked away might be one of the most common signs you will never find love we’ve ever stumbled upon. We’re all guilty of giving up on love the moment that we’re betrayed or abandoned. We can’t seem to bear to be vulnerable after a breakup – but we need to be.

4. You’re settling

“I’m not getting any younger, I don’t think I’m going to meet anyone better than him!”

“She might not be the love of my life, but I don’t think I’m ever going to meet the love of my life anyway!”

Picking out the wrong partner can be devastating, especially when you know they’re a great person and that they’re more than willing to be by your side no matter what. Rather than being with someone because they’re great or because you’re afraid of being alone, you might want to reevaluate.

Standards are there for a reason, right? You might want to be with someone who treats you well and takes care of you. You might be attracted to someone who earns more money than you or someone who works hard. You do, however, need to be with someone who feels like “the one.”

5. You’re going for unavailable people

10 Signs You Will Never Find Love (Unless You Change)

When you’re going from one relationship to another, you’re too busy changing your partners to notice a pattern that might be a sign you will never find love. Looking back at your dating history, how would you describe the people you’ve been with? How would you describe the people you’ve been drawn to?

Wanting a serious relationship but ending up with partners who want the opposite might mean that you’re unconsciously drawn to unavailable people. You’re choosing the type of people who aren’t able to give you what you’re looking for. You’re setting yourself up for failure from the get-go.

What are you going to do about that? Change the pattern, of course!

6. You don’t trust people

We can’t even blame you! When you’ve been hurt before, you’re more than happy to keep away from people to protect your heart and prevent the same thing from happening again.

Whether you’ve experienced gaslighting, manipulating, game-playing, ghosting, or anything of the sort, you know better than to give your heart away to someone who’s going to do the same thing.

We get it – but that’s not going to help you meet someone who’s more than happy to take care of you and put you on a pedestal, either. You need to be cautious, but you need to get out there and date. You need to protect your heart, but you need to trust people, too.

7. You think you’re unable to love someone truly

Whether that’s because you’re struggling with self-esteem or because you genuinely believe you’re unable to love someone truly, madly, or deeply, you might be questioning whether you’re ready for a relationship, anyway.

Maybe you’re young. Maybe you’re focused on your career or the hobby that makes you happy. Whatever the case might be, there’s a chance that you feel like you’re not ready to meet the love of your life and settle down.

While there’s nothing wrong with that, you do need to figure out whether that’s something you want. You don’t need to be in a relationship if you don’t want to be in one, but it would be a shame if you were avoiding relationships for a different reason. You do you, boo.

8. You’re not over your ex

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“I’m not ready to move on because I genuinely believe that the two of us are going to get back together.”

“I still love him and I don’t want to hurt the next person I’m with.”

“I don’t need a rebound, I need my ex back.”

Your soulmate might be right in front of you, waiting for you to make up your mind, but you’re too busy pining over “the one that got away.” You go on dates but you compare them to your ex. You think you’re doing the right thing by scrolling through dating apps, but you’re thinking of your ex the entire time.

What are you supposed to do? If you’re not the type to rebound before committing to a serious relationship, you might need to give your heart more time to heal. If you need help getting over your ex, surround yourself with your friends and try to do things that make you happy. It’s going to work!

9. You have unrealistic expectations

We all want someone to build us a white house with blue shutters and a room overlooking the river so we can paint, right? Our perception of relationships might have been a little skewed because of “The Notebook” and other romantic films we watched when we were younger.

Sure, there’s nothing wrong with expecting a little romance here and there, but your unrealistic expectations might be the reasons why you will never find true love. So, you might need to turn off the TV and see what real relationships are like.

We can attest to the fact that real relationships are much better than the stuff you see on your screen. They’re raw, they make you feel like you’re on top of the world, and they require a lot of work.

10. You’re emotionally unavailable

10 Signs You Will Never Find Love (Unless You Change)

“I’m not ready to date right now.”

“I’m flirting with you because I like you, not because I want to be in a relationship with you.”

“I’m not ready to talk about my feelings.”

One-night stands are a great way to spice up your love life, but that’s not something you can do for the rest of your life. On one hand, you’re going to get bored of shallow experiences, boring conversations, and people who don’t know anything about you. On the other, you’re going to crave change.

Whether you turn to a therapist or a friend, you do need to figure out why you’re afraid of commitment and come to terms with why you’re emotionally unavailable. With a bit of little work, hopefully, you’ll find a way to get back out there and meet someone worth your while. Good luck!

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