Since you’re reading this, you’ve probably been thinking about ending your marriage, but you don’t know if it’s the right thing to do. That’s why you’re wondering: What are the signs you are ready for divorce?
Once you see them, you’ll be more than ready to take the next step.
They say that getting married is one of the life-changing moments in life. They say that you have to be 100% sure that you’re ready to take that step.
But getting a divorce also takes an equal amount of courage, as it’s a decision that changes your life forever.
You’re probably aware that divorce is a big deal. You know that it will affect your life and the lives of everyone around you. That’s why it’s so hard to make the decision.
But you’ve been unhappy for some time now and you no longer can picture yourself next to your spouse. Everything is so complicated and you wish that someone could make a decision for you and save you time and energy.
How can you be sure that you’re ready to leave? How do you know that it’s the right step? Are there any signs you’re ready for divorce that you could look out for?
It all feels like a hot mess, and you don’t know if it’s the right time to end the marriage or if there’s something else that you could do.
To be honest, deep down you probably already know what the best thing is for you, but you simply need a piece of evidence that you’re doing the right thing.
That’s why I’ll give you a list of signs you are ready for divorce. If you tick all of the boxes, know that your marriage is probably over and you’re ready to leave your spouse.
Signs you are ready for divorce
These signs will be a result of everything that’s been going on in your life – all those sleepless nights when you thought about leaving and your deepest desire to change your life.
You just need to have them in front of you so you can be sure that you’re ready for the next step.
1. You no longer have any feelings for your partner
Because of all the disagreements you’ve been having with your partner, you might feel like you’ve drifted apart.
You no longer feel close to him the way you used to and you’ve started thinking about divorce.
If this is you, then you’re likely still not ready to take that step because there’s still some room to work on your issues.
But if you generally feel like you’ve lost all feelings for your partner, then it’s a pretty clear sign you are ready for divorce.
While you’re still in love with your partner, you’re unable to emotionally leave him.
You could move towns and physically separate from each other and you’d still be thinking about him.
But the moment you realize that you no longer feel anything for him, that all of the love you once felt evaporated into the thin air, that’s when you’re ready to move on with your life and leave him in the past.
So, think about your feelings and be honest with yourself.
Do you still love him? Do you still see him as that attractive man you fell for or are your feelings gone?
Once you come clean about your emotions, you’ll be able to know if you’re ready to take the next step and end the marriage or if, deep down, you still believe that you can salvage the situation.
2. “We” turned into “I”
Compare your relationship right now with the way it used to look at the very beginning. Is there anything different?
Marriage is about two people working and growing together while still keeping a sense of themselves.
It’s about “we” working on “us” while being yourselves.
But the moment you start drifting apart, there’s a chance that you’ll forget about your mutual journey and focus only on yourselves.
Do you think this has happened with your relationship?
Do you no longer feel that the two of you are partners but instead it’s two people who no longer care for each other?
Each of you has your own goals and you no longer have any interest in growing together as a couple.
If anything, it only feels that you’re drifting apart and going your own separate ways.
When “we” turns into “I,” that’s a sign you are ready for divorce. Your marriage is no longer about partnership.
It looks more like two people living together only because they’re used to doing so.
The only thing that’s keeping you close is the living space you share.
At this point, it’s hard to do anything.
When you and your partner don’t want to work together, the foundation of your marriage cracks and you find yourself at a dead end.
From now on, it’s either you leave or give it one last shot to try to patch things up, if that’s possible.
3. You’ve exhausted all options
Trying all of the possible options and still seeing no positive results is a sign you are ready to divorce.
You’ve tried talking to each other and looking for a way to solve all of the disagreements that have been accumulating over time.
You’ve agreed to separate for a while, thinking that some time apart would be helpful.
Maybe you even went for couples therapy, thinking that professional help would do the trick.
Still, none of it worked. If anything, the two of you ended up having bigger issues after all those failed attempts.
After trying everything you could, you might have realized that the two of you simply aren’t made to last.
When you give your marriage a chance and try to look for a solution, only to then realize that things can’t be fixed, that’s when you can say that it’s time to move on.
Everything before that is usually a threatening and irrational decision.
Of course, this doesn’t apply if you’re a victim of any type of abuse.
In this case, you should leave your husband immediately because there are no excuses for such behavior.
Those things shouldn’t be fixed because there’s no benefit whatsoever in staying in an abusive relationship.
Even if your partner promises to change, you’ll always feel the consequences of his prior behavior.
4. Your decision isn’t impulsive
Sometimes, as a result of a recent heated argument, in your anger, you start thinking about divorce. In that moment, it looks like the best decision you could make.
But what you don’t realize is that an impulsive decision to get divorced isn’t an actual sign you are ready for divorce.
If anything, it only goes to show that you made a decision for all of the wrong reasons.
But if you thought about it down to the finer details, then it means that you’re not being impulsive but rather rational.
Even in those moments when you and your partner are having an okay time, free from fighting and disagreements, you still think that a divorce would be a much better option than living a mediocre life in a loveless relationship.
That’s a real sign you are ready for divorce because you know it’s the best option for both of you.
In that case, your decision to walk away from a marriage isn’t merely a reaction to a bad fight the two of you just had.
Instead, it’s the only thing that feels right to do even in the quiet times.
That’s when you know for sure that you’re ready to take the big step and end your marriage.
5. You realize you and your spouse have different values
We grow and change our whole lives. That process doesn’t stop the moment you get married. Instead, it continues with your partner.
But sometimes, married couples fail to grow together and as they change and shape themselves, their relationship suffers.
Instead of growing together, they grow apart.
And when they change who they are, they often also change their values and beliefs. That’s perfectly normal.
But the problem comes when they become too different and other challenges start to appear.
This difference in beliefs, combined with all of the other issues in a marriage, could be one of the reasons you want to get a divorce in the first place.
You see that things aren’t going the way you want them to and you want to make a change.
But there’s a difference between actually wanting to end a marriage because you truly feel that you can’t work things out, and threatening divorce only because you want your partner to change his behavior.
If you’re thinking about ending your marriage because of reason number one, then it’s a sign you are ready for divorce and you’re taking the step because you feel that it’s better for you.
But if you’re only threatening to end things, hoping for a behavioral change to come, you’re doing it for all of the wrong reasons.
In that case, you want to get a divorce only because you expect that your partner will come back to you.
And there’s nothing healthy and normal in that.
6. You’re thinking about divorce all the time
You’ve come to the point where you literally dream of being single. Whenever you look at your partner, you say to yourself, “Oh, how I wish I wasn’t married.”
And sometimes, this is a normal part of marriage that many people go through.
Especially if you have a lot of single friends who are having the time of their lives. That can make you feel like you’re missing out on something.
Also, having lived together and spent a lot of time together, you could get the feeling that you’ve had enough and all you need is some time alone.
That’s common and understandble, and most times, these feelings go away the moment your partner holds you in his arms after a long day.
On the other hand, if you’ve been thinking about ending your marriage on a daily basis, then it could be one of the signs you are ready for divorce.
You feel that you’d be much happier if you were to finally end the marriage and be able to live a single life.
You’re thinking so much about it to the point where you’ve even planned what you want to do when you’re finally single.
These thoughts aren’t healthy and they shouldn’t be present in a happy marriage or a marriage that stands a chance of being fixed.
They’re telling you that you should do something with your life because you won’t ever feel truly fulfilled if you’re stuck in an unhappy marriage.
7. You and your partner no longer communicate
Communication is an integral part of a healthy relationship.
Even when you’re fighting, you’re communicating in a way and expressing your concerns.
But once communication stops completely, it’s a sign that you are ready for divorce.
When you or your partner (or even both of you) decide that you have no energy to sit down and have a talk with each other, that’s when you know that your relationship is over.
You no longer care about letting your partner know what’s bothering you because you feel that there’s no point.
So why would you waste your time and energy on someone who clearly doesn’t know how to listen?
If you’re experiencing this issue, and you no longer see the need to share a word with your partner, then you might be ready for a divorce.
This means that your disagreements and conflicts have turned into something more serious as you’re no longer willing to work on them.
At this point, even arguing would be a better option as it would mean that you still care about your relationship.
But once it all stops, it’s clear that there’s nothing left to fight for.
Your marriage is on its last legs and maybe it’s better to move on than to stay and be unhappy for the rest of your life.
But it seems that you’ve already made that decision. You just needed something to confirm that you’re right.
8. You’ve lost respect for your partner
Loss of respect is one of the clear signs you are ready for divorce. When that happens, you know that your time together is over.
All relationships go through their ups and downs. If you were looking to find one couple that never fights, you’d fail for sure.
That’s because perfect couples don’t exist.
So, every marriage goes through issues as well and as long as partners love and respect each other, they’ll be able to find a solution.
But once you hit that point where you don’t feel anything for your partner, when you despise his words and don’t respect him as a person, you’ve reached a dead end.
At this point, you hate hearing your partner talk because you believe that his words and opinions are irrelevant.
You feel the need to criticize him all the time because you think that he’s talking nonsense.
Everything he does is deemed unnecessary and unreasonable. You minimize his acts and don’t believe a word he says.
That’s what happens when you lose respect for your partner – for the person who was supposed to be the one you can always count on.
After that, it’ll be hard to mend things because you no longer believe that the two of you can make it work.
And that’s when you know. Lack of mutual respect is a surefire sign you’re ready for divorce.
9. You have no empathy for your partner
Empathy is the feeling that keeps us close to each other.
As long as you care about someone, you’ll do everything you can to help that person and save them from any pain or hardship.
But when you feel a general lack of empathy for your partner, then it’s a sign you are ready for divorce.
Once you realize that you don’t really care about your partner’s feelings, you know that your time is over.
At that point, you no longer care if your words hurt him. You don’t care about his feelings or his wishes.
You don’t feel the need to help your partner when he asks you to. In fact, you blame him for everything you’ve been going through and put him last.
Sometimes, you even do something on purpose because you know that he’ll be hurt by your actions. That’s how far you’ve come.
Empathy is one of the final emotions that keep you connected to your partner.
Once it’s gone, you can sense that your marriage is tumbling down like a house of cards.
Marriages that lack empathy are in fact broken marriages that stand no chance of being fixed.
10. You don’t trust your partner anymore
Besides lack of empathy, lack of trust is also a surefire sign that you’re ready for divorce.
When you no longer trust your partner, there’s nothing that can save your relationship.
Without trust, all you feel for your partner will be negative and resentful.
No matter what he tells you, you won’t trust him because you no longer feel that you can.
Is he lying to you? Is he playing with your feelings or cheating on you? Maybe he’s manipulating you?
You don’t know what to believe anymore. All you do know is that those loving, trusting feelings you once had for him are long gone.
There’s no point in staying in a marriage where you can’t trust your partner – the one person in this whole world that you were supposed to trust.
That’s when you know that you’ve come to the end of your road together and there’s nothing that can be done to save your marriage.
Trust is one of the crucial pillars of any relationship. Once it’s gone, there’s nothing that can replace it.
11. You want to provoke your partner
You find yourself testing your partner all the time. You’re pushing all of his buttons because you want to break him.
All those empathic feelings are gone and you don’t feel bad for playing with him. That’s how unhappy you are.
Subconsciously, you actually want to push him to the edge so he can feel the same way you’ve been feeling lately.
Because of that, you’ll go against him, ignore his opinion, and in a way show him that you’ve already moved on from him.
This right here is a clear-as-day sign you are ready for divorce and don’t have anything left of your marriage.
What you should do once you’ve identified signs you are ready for divorce?
If you’re completely sure that there’s nothing to hold onto and that your marriage is already over, then you should proceed and make the final step.
It’s always better to move away from those things that make us unhappy. And in your case, it’s your marriage.
Surround yourself with people who trust you because divorces can get stressful, especially when you and your partner aren’t on the same page.
That’s why you’ll need your friends and family who’ll be there for you. They’ll be your wind at the back whenever you need it.
Also, before taking the legal step, it’s best to let your partner know that you’re planning to get a divorce.
He at the very least deserves to hear it from you.
And be rational and honest when talking with your spouse. Try not let it get ugly – it’ll only make things more difficult.
Of course, if you’re a victim of abuse or if your partner was cheating on you, you can skip this step.
Otherwise, you may be putting yourself in an unsafe situation, or he may even try to get you back and make matters ten times worse than they are already.
If you truly believe that this is the best decision for you, then continue with it. Your happiness should always be your number one priority.
You know you deserve so much more than being stuck in an unhappy marriage.
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