Think aloud
What are the surefire signs he will never ask you out?
We’ve all been there – or most of us, anyway. We spent hours and hours getting ready because we knew we were going to see our crush that day. We found excuses to hang out with mutual friends and we did everything to get our crush’s attention. We waited and waited, but nothing happened.
We’ve convinced everyone around us that there’s nothing wrong with the fact that he’s taking his sweet time to figure out what he wants. We’ve convinced ourselves that there must be a reason why he hasn’t asked us out yet – he’s shy, he’s afraid, or he shows affection differently.
Sometimes that’s the case, we gotta be honest. Sometimes people do show affection differently and send mixed signals without even knowing they’re doing that. People, especially men, aren’t always wired to be transparent, chivalrous, and pour their heart out right off the bat. So you might still get that call, right?
We do need to underline that there are times when men wait a little longer than you want them to when they’re figuring out how to approach you. But there are a few sneaky signs you can keep an eye on to protect your heart and move on before you’re broken. Because it’s better to know early on, right?
10 signs he will never ask you out
1. He’s never even mentioned the possibility of committing to someone
Maybe you want to go on a date with your crush and see what happens. Maybe you’re already planning your guys’ wedding and figuring out how many children you want to have. Whatever the case might be, knowing whether he’s ready to commit to someone can tell you a lot about where you stand with him.
Have you ever heard him talk fondly of the idea of being in a relationship? Have you witnessed him and his friends laughing at the thought of committing to someone or getting married?
If you’ve never even heard the guy mention anything about wanting to be with someone, you might not stand a chance. If the idea of him liking these things feels at odds with what you know about him and his personality, he’s probably not the “relationship type.”
2. He’s pretty vague about what he’s looking for
The two of you have been casually hanging out for a while, but he’s never even mentioned going on a date or taking things to the next level. There seems to be a disconnect between what you’re looking for out of your relationship and where he’s willing to take your relationship.
The two of you might not be together, but you already know that you like him.
When you try to have a serious conversation with him, though, he brushes you off by saying he “likes taking things slow” or “has a lot going on right now.” We’d argue that when someone wants to be with you, they’re more than willing to discuss what does and doesn’t work for them.
3. He never reaches out to you
When you take the time to observe your relationship, you can’t seem to pinpoint the one time he wanted to hang out with you. You’re always the one texting him, inviting him to hang out with you and your friends, or looking for excuses to see each other. You’re always the one reaching out to him.
Sure, you might think there’s nothing wrong with that because you almost always get a positive response. So, that must mean he wants to be with you, right?
But do you want to be with someone who can’t text you or call you? Before you answer that, know that never reaching out might be one of the most common signs he will never ask you out.
4. He takes his sweet time to respond to your calls and messages
What’s up with the way the two of you communicate? We know that you want to be with him and that you’re more than happy to do most of the work, but you shouldn’t turn a blind eye when you spend hours and hours waiting for him to respond to a simple message.
When he’s spotty with his texting, he’s “hot and cold” with you, and he’s emotionally stiff, building a relationship with you is probably not a priority to him. Asking you out on a date is probably not a priority to him, either, and that’s why you need to reevaluate your relationship and leave.
5. He’s always busy
You’re a modern woman and you’re not above asking a guy out when that’s something that you truly want. You’ve been trying to get him to ask you out for weeks or months, but you’re starting to lose your patience and you’re thinking of making the first move. What’s the problem, though?
Apparently, he’s always busy. Whenever you try to arrange something with him, he hits you with a million excuses that don’t even make sense. When you try to talk to him about the possibility of the two of you going out on a date, he “just wants to see where things go” with the two of you.
We hate to be the bearers of bad news, but he doesn’t want to be with you. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life. You deserve better than a “maybe.”
6. He calls off plans with you all the time
You text all the time but you never go out? You make plans but your plans never get out of your apartment? You try to be patient but you’re starting to think he’s never going to ask you out?
If that’s the case, you have a bad case of dating a man who doesn’t know what he wants. At the end of the day, he’s clearly interested enough to waste your time by texting you, but he’s not interested enough to ask you out on a proper date.
Regardless of how he tries to spin it, he evidently isn’t prioritizing building a real relationship with you. Rather than wasting your time on him, put your energy into something or someone else.
7. He only wants to hang out late at night
Whether or not you’ve taken your relationship to a more physical level, you might be wondering why your crush doesn’t want to hang out with you during the day.
Maybe you noticed that he’s more than happy to hang out with you when you suggest a chill movie night but doesn’t keep the same energy when you suggest a coffee date. Maybe you’re suspicious of the fact that you wait for a response for hours and hours because “he’s too busy during the day.”
Whatever the case might be, you’re probably aware that these excuses aren’t good enough. Whoever said “if he wanted to, he would,” was right. Make sure you check whether he wants to commit to a relationship or a simple date before you waste all your time waiting for him to make up his mind.
8. He “doesn’t do labels”
Some people prefer relationships without labels, whether that’s because they’ve been hurt before or because they’re more comfortable without the commitment that comes with a real relationship. Some people prefer one-night stands, friends with benefits, and similar arrangements, too.
Sure, there’s nothing wrong with that. But you and your crush need to be on the same page about what both of you want and expect from each other. Before you spend all your time and energy trying to get your crush to ask you out, ask yourself “Is he really the guy I want to be with or am I just bored?”
It’s okay to not want these things, but if he’s avoiding telling you how he feels about going on a date with you or being in a relationship with you, take that as a red flag.
9. He’s flirting with other women
We know what you’re thinking. You’re not exclusive because you haven’t had the talk (or the date, for that matter). You don’t expect him to commit to you before you’ve even discussed whether you want to pursue a relationship. You’re right – but you’re also a little wrong.
When he flirts with other women in front of you although he’s aware that you’ve been trying to get him to ask you out, that means he doesn’t respect you. He doesn’t care about your feelings. He doesn’t care whether he ruins his chances with you. We might be wrong, but he may have already decided you’re not the one.
10. He’s all over the place emotionally
We all love emotionally unavailable men, don’t we? When you’re on the hunt for signs he will never ask you out, you need to keep your eyes peeled on what he’s like when he thinks you’re not looking.
He might be hot one minute and cold the next one. He might want to take you out on a date but not want to plan anything. He might want to be in a relationship with you but he doesn’t know whether he’s over his ex.
Whatever the reason might be, if he shows you that he’s all over the place emotionally, it’s about time you pack up your bags and leave.