Marriage is the ultimate goal for a lot of people. And if you’re reading this then you might be wondering if the guy you’re dating is ready to take your relationship to the next level. Luckily, there are signs he doesn’t want to marry you.
Many people strive to marry their significant other. The one who will give all his love to you, be there for you no matter what, and wants to spend the rest of his life with you.
But that’s easier said than done.
There are cases when long-term relationships end in a breakup even though they were ready to take their relationship to the next level. Some issues are just unresolvable.
And I know it isn’t easy for you to hear this, but it’s better to hear the bitter truth than to live in an imaginary world where you think that the guy you’re dating now is going to marry you.
It’s not easy when you love him. But if you see that he’s not putting effort into the relationship like you are, then you seriously need to re-evaluate things.
The thing is, men can stay in a relationship for years and never really feel the need for a forever commitment. Don’t get me wrong, that’s fine if that’s what you agreed upon.
But if your wish is to get married and have kids, then that might be a problem.
That’s why you should pay attention to the signs he doesn’t want to marry you.
Not knowing what your guy wants from you isn’t going to be of any help.
You question his intentions: Does he even believe in marriage? Does he see you as his ideal life partner?
You start to wonder whether or not he wants to settle down with you or if he’s playing games with you.
As you know, people have different ideas around the concept of marriage.
Some say that it’s just a piece of paper while others think that is something sacred and unbreakable.
Instead of him wasting your precious time, this is your opportunity to figure out if you two are on the same page.
And one way to do it is by picking up on signs he doesn’t want to marry you.
From there, you can figure out what you want in life – whether that be a long-term relationship or marriage.
And if you spot any of these signs he doesn’t want to marry you, you actually are saving yourself from utter devastation in the future.
It’s always good to have future plans with your loved one, but you have to be on the same page.
If he’s mentioned the subject of marriage a couple of times to you, then you can be sure he wants a serious relationship.
That’s a good sign he’s planning to take your relationship to the next level.
Remember, you should definitely only marry a guy who truly loves you.
If you spot various signs he doesn’t want to marry you, then chances are that he doesn’t love you the way you need him to.
At this point, you should consider moving away from him and tweaking your life a bit.
So, these are the signs he doesn’t want to marry you:
1. He doesn’t believe in marriage
Most times, guys are pretty straightforward and you don’t have to think twice about what his opinion is about a particular matter.
He may say to you that he doesn’t think marriage is anything special other than mere paperwork.
If you think otherwise and try to change his opinion, it will likely lead to failure and disappointment from your side.
His disbelief in marriage is a clear sign he doesn’t want to take your relationship to the next level.
And even if you have a healthy relationship with him, it isn’t going to magically convert into marriage.
You made it clear that you believe in marriage as an institution.
You believe that you should accept each other’s weaknesses and strengths and that you should also teach and learn.
But he clearly doesn’t think the same way as you do if he said that it’s only a formality and nothing else.
You should be either alright with this belief and maintain your healthy relationship, or move on to another guy who shares the same values as you.
2. He downplays your relationship to others
One of the biggest signs he doesn’t want to marry you is if he downplays your relationship and says that it isn’t anything serious.
If he does this, then he doesn’t see himself as your man at all!
You see, when a man genuinely loves a woman, he’ll show her to everyone.
He won’t hesitate to introduce her to his family and friends. Instead, he’ll want everyone to know how remarkable and gorgeous she really is.
He’ll be proud to be her man and do anything he can to protect her and make her feel safe. He’ll feel like he won the lottery with her.
On the other hand, if your current boyfriend downplays your relationship, then you should take that as a red flag and re-evaluate things with him ASAP!
Then he’s not going to be your man for the rest of your life.
If he doesn’t even consider your relationship anything serious, take that as a warning sign and move on to someone better.
3. He plays dumb when the topic of marriage comes up
How do you know that the guy you’re dating doesn’t want to marry you? Well, ask yourself this: Does he immediately change the subject whenever you bring up marriage in conversation?
If yes, then that’s a clear sign he doesn’t want to marry you.
Even if he doesn’t refuse to take part in your conversation, but his responses are vague and he gives you curt answers, then you know he’s not interested in putting a ring on it.
His refusal to talk about the idea of marriage by pushing it under the rug is a big sign of his unwillingness to marry you.
If you really want to be with him and you can’t picture your life without him, there are things that you can do to impress him to the point where he may consider it, as he can’t imagine himself with another girl.
Try to look amazing – we all know men are visual creators.
Or help him cope with his stressful job. Your goal is to get him so interested that he’ll get on his knees and pop the big question.
4. He always says he’s waiting for the perfect time
A man who always makes excuses is a man who’s playing games with you.
He isn’t sincere about his intentions with you and he’s definitely never going to marry you.
He might say that this isn’t the perfect time to get married because he’s too focused on his career.
However, he’s still able to say those three words to you, “I love you.”
How? The truth is, excuses won’t get you anywhere.
He’ll use his family as an excuse, his work, career – everything he can, just so that you don’t talk about it anymore.
However, we both know that when a guy genuinely loves you, there’s no wall high enough that he won’t climb over.
He’ll overcome every obstacle like it’s nothing.
Because a real man will go to any lengths for the one he loves. In fact, he’ll do everything in his power to create the perfect time so he can be with you for the rest of his life.
5. He hates and avoids conflicts with you
It’s difficult to accept the fact that your guy might not want to get married ever, especially when your only wish is to completely belong to him.
But there are instances when the problem resolves itself eventually.
Eventually, those disagreements evolve into conflicts and they resolve themselves by either taking the relationship to the next level or breaking it up.
But that only works if both of you are ready to confront each other.
On the other hand, if the guy you’re dating hates and avoids conflicts with you like the plague, then that’s a bad sign he doesn’t want to marry you.
He simply doesn’t want to rock the boat and refuses to fight with you.
He knows that you’re right, but he can’t muster up the courage to honestly say what’s on his mind – that he doesn’t want to marry you.
He’d rather tell half-truths, keep quiet, or deceive you than actually address the elephant in the room.
6. He doesn’t make any future plans with you
How does your partner behave when you say to him that you want to move out to another city? Or that you want to live in another country?
Is he hesitant about it? Does he say that he’ll try to adapt to your wishes? Or does he even care that you want to live elsewhere?
If he doesn’t care and doesn’t make any future plans with you, then I hate to break it, but he’s not interested in marrying you.
He knows that he won’t be affected by your future plans and dreams because he doesn’t see you as his long-term partner.
He’s not in it for the long haul, darling.
And the times he does talk about his future plans, he doesn’t include you in them.
Also, there are guys who’ll get hostile when asked about their future.
If your guy gets hostile and angry whenever you bring up the topic of marriage, that’s a pretty huge sign he doesn’t want to marry you.
He’s not dumb, trust me. He knows what he wants in his life and it’s not you!
7. He says that his exes are “crazy”
Many women will say that it’s a good sign if their guy has had a couple of serious relationships.
That gives them hope that he knows what he’s doing and he knows what he wants.
But if you ask your guy about his previous relationships and he tells you that most of his exes were crazy, then something’s wrong there.
Maybe, all of them wanted something more serious with him, but he bailed on them because he got scared of commitment.
That’s a huge red flag that you’re dating an immature guy whose love life is in a complete mess.
You think to yourself that you’re different and that you can make him commit to you, but that won’t happen.
You’re just another girl to him and that’s all.
He’ll bail on you too once he sees that the relationship is getting more serious.
The thing is, he has commitment issues and he won’t be settling down anytime soon.
8. He refuses to live with you
As you take your relationship to the next level, the next logical step would be to move in together, right?
Well, it would be, but a guy who doesn’t want to marry you won’t want to do that.
If your boyfriend flat out rejects the idea of you moving in with him or vice-versa, then he’s not planning to marry you any time soon.
And if for any reason he needs to move out of his apartment, he’ll move somewhere else instead of in with you.
If he does that, it’s not only that he doesn’t plan to get married, he also doesn’t see a future with you at all.
You should take that as a warning sign and re-evaluate your relationship with him.
Do you really want to spend your time with a guy who doesn’t include you in his future plans?
9. He’s shutting you out
When a guy is interested in marrying you, he’ll bring you deeper into his world. He’ll openly talk with you about his dreams, goals, and aspirations.
You’ll get the chance to see his vulnerable side that not so many people have had the opportunity to have seen.
On the other hand, if the guy is shutting you down and there’s a lack of communication between him and you, then your relationship is heading in the opposite direction of marriage.
Communication is key for a healthy relationship. On the flip side, a lack of communication is also one of the biggest signs that something’s wrong.
When a guy is ready to commit, then he’ll do everything he can to build a strong foundation with you.
He won’t hesitate to put in the hard work because he knows everything will pay off in the end.
And it takes two to tango, so you’ll have to do exactly the same as he does.
But, if he isn’t putting in any effort, then it’s most likely because he doesn’t see himself with you for the rest of his life.
And if you’re not part of his future, then that’s a warning sign he doesn’t want to marry you!
10. He doesn’t want to meet your family and friends
When we decide to marry our partners, it’s only natural to express the desire to meet their family members and their friends as well.
We include them in our lives because they play a significant role in it.
However, if your man doesn’t wish to meet your family or any of your friends, then getting married to you is definitely off the table.
He doesn’t want your families to unite and form a big happy family.
If he’s not expressing the desire to meet your family and friends, you should read between the lines.
He isn’t interested in marrying you and you shouldn’t be the one to force him to do so.
If you did, you’d be constantly troubled by the fact that your husband’s never truly accepted your family.
Does your boyfriend hide your relationship from others on his social media?
Does he lie to you that he doesn’t use them at all? If yes, then it’s a sure sign he doesn’t want to marry you.
He leaves you out of his posts for a reason. He doesn’t want anyone to know that he’s in a relationship with you.
And if by chance someone happens to see you two together, he’ll downplay it.
I know that some people don’t use social media that much, but if he hasn’t had the decency to update his relationship status, then he considers you unimportant in his life.
You can confront him about it and see what he says, but he’ll try to find excuses why he didn’t post any pictures of you two as a couple.
12. He keeps pushing back the wedding date
Maybe your boyfriend has proposed to you, but when you talk to him about your wedding date, he keeps pushing it further and further back.
That’s a huge sign he doesn’t want to marry you.
Maybe he proposed to you because he wanted to get you off his back. That shouldn’t be the reason why he bought you a ring in the first place.
If this is the case, your best move is to give it back to him.
Because who wants to stay perpetually engaged to a guy who isn’t ready to take the relationship to the next level and tie the knot?
13. He can’t make a decision about anything
If your boyfriend can’t decide which shirt to wear, how do you expect him to know when he’s going to marry you?
Is he even planning to pop the big question?
Indecisiveness is a big turn-off and a guy who doesn’t know what he’ll do next week sure won’t know if he’s going to marry you or not.
He’s never going to muster the courage and ask you if you want to marry him, even if he secretly wishes to.
What should you do if he doesn’t want to marry you?
Now that you’re familiar with the most obvious signs he doesn’t want to marry you, you might wonder what your next step is…
First, have an honest talk with him.
Communicating with your partner can solve many dilemmas that you may have.
It is the only route to take to resolve issues and clear up any confusion.
Ask your partner what he thinks about marriage.
There is a chance that your boyfriend is open to a long-term commitment, but it just so happens that he hates the legal part of the marriage.
Talk to him and discuss some rituals that you could apply to your relationship.
Figure out what marriage means to you!
Ask yourself this: Why do I want to get married? Is it because my best friend is married?
Is it because it’s a social construct and I have to obey it? Or is it something I truly want?
Sometimes, you have to gain a deeper understanding of what marriage means so that you can be sure you want to spend the rest of your life with your partner.
And don’t do it for others, but for yourself!
Reassess your needs.
If you found out that you and your partner aren’t on the same page, then it’s time for you to reassess your needs.
Perhaps your only wish as a child was to find a husband for yourself and you forgot to analyze and update your wish over the years.
I know that you dream of a fairytale wedding, but if you love your partner with all of your heart and he loves you, then you should re-evaluate how important marriage is to you at this point in your life.
Everyone changes over time and so do people’s values and goals.
You may decide to leave him and find someone more compatible with your needs and wishes.
Or you may decide that this person is more important to you than your goal. Whichever the case, you need to reevaluate your needs.
Always be straightforward and honest about your wishes.
If your boyfriend doesn’t want to marry you and you do want to get married someday in the future, then you have to have a direct conversation with him and try to figure things out.
And if you want it sooner rather than later, then you should decide how long you’re willing to wait.
And if it’s never going to happen, then you should think it over and decide if you can be in a happy long-term relationship that won’t result in marriage.