Everyone knows that for a relationship to work, it takes two.
Two people who care for each other, who each put the other person first, and who put the effort in to make the relationship work.
However, just like everything in life, you should be prepared for the worst, because it might just happen to you.
A romantic relationship takes a lot of dedication and effort from both people. It cannot work if just one person is doing all the work.
You cannot make it magically grow out of nothing, despite spending lots of your time on it.
You and your partner need to both make an effort to make things work despite everything that life throws at you.
Although you want to find the one who seems to give just as much of himself as you give in a relationship, that isn’t the case every time.
The effort and perseverance that make the difference in a romantic relationship are sadly often missing in modern dating.
It is crushing if you don’t know why your partner has stopped making an effort in your relationship.
You start to question his commitment and his love toward you.
Everything that seemed sacred and beautiful in your relationship seems to be just an illusion now.
It takes a lot of self-control to not overreact in such a situation.
The best thing you can do, if you see that your boyfriend has stopped putting in the effort, is to take a step back and look at it more objectively.
Why did he stop making an effort? Did something happen to him? Am I the problem? Did he stop loving me?
Those are all valid questions. However, if you don’t know the real reason why he stopped, it is best to talk to him openly and without hesitation.
Let’s take it from the beginning. How do you actually know that he has stopped making an effort?
You may think that your mind is playing tricks on you. Well, his behavior and actions toward you are the best indications of whether that is true or not.
While at the beginning of your relationship, you planned your dates together, now you are the only one who makes an effort to organize anything.
I know that in the beginning, everything was great and beautiful because you were getting to know each other, and planning a date was an exciting thing to do, but now it seems that you are the only one who puts in the extra effort to arrange anything fun.
Believe me, just because you have become comfortable with each other, it doesn’t mean that he should stop making an effort.
Another indication that might ease your mind just a bit if you are questioning his effort is your future. Does he ever bring up your future in conversation?
The goal of a relationship is to find someone with whom you are determined to spend the rest of your lives.
If he cuts off the conversation every time you try to bring up your future while talking, that is a sure-fire sign that he has stopped making an effort.
That’s unfair to you because he is not being honest about his intentions.
He is risking everything that you have built just because he is not comfortable telling you the truth.
Also, if he has stopped showing his emotions toward you, then maybe it is time for you to move on from him.
The thing is, men can have difficulty with their emotions. They do the opposite of what a woman does.
While women express their emotions freely and openly, sometimes it feels like you are pulling teeth just to know how your guy is feeling.
You are a woman of great worth, who doesn’t need a boy who cannot show his emotions toward you.
Don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t make an effort to show you them anymore.
Well, now you have realized that he doesn’t make an effort any longer, you might ask, “What should I do?”
It depends, actually. If the problem is external and maybe he has some problems at work, or he has another issue that might be stressing him out at the moment, the best things you can do are give him time and support him as best as you can.
However, don’t fool yourself with the thought that he isn’t aware of his problem; he just isn’t holding up his end of the bargain.
I know you are aware that he knows what he is doing, so don’t convince yourself that he doesn’t realize it.
You cannot hope that he will change and that you will see the light at the end of the tunnel. Guess what? People don’t change.
You have heard it a million times, and it is the truth. To change means to put in an effort.
If he isn’t making an effort in your relationship, do you really think he will make an attempt to change? Well, I think I answered your question already.
Accept the fact that you cannot change your boyfriend if he doesn’t make an effort to change.
No matter how hard you try, his emotions toward you will not change. His actions won’t change.
I know that you are waiting to see the loving and caring boyfriend who he was at the beginning of your relationship but think about it.
You are letting your wishes control your mind and feelings.
Eventually, you will become manipulative or even clingy because of your effort to change him ‘for the better’.
Instead, what you should do is face the hard facts and accept them.
Accept that he won’t change and you cannot make him spend time with you if he doesn’t make the effort to see you.
Don’t settle for anything less than you deserve.
You are a beautiful woman who just wants to be loved and wants a partner who pushes you to become a better person.
Someone you can compete with about who puts more effort into your relationship.
You shouldn’t settle for a boyfriend who only texts you once a day or sees you a couple of days a week.
Those are not low expectations, but rather signs of an unhealthy relationship.
You should be your boyfriend’s top priority no matter what.
Settling for anything less means you are breaking your promise of not putting your needs and emotions first.
Be selfish sometimes.
Being selfish in certain situations doesn’t make you a bad person; it means that you are taking care of yourself and putting yourself first for once.
When you have given your heart and soul to someone and you have received nothing in return, you can turn away and just be done with it.
You don’t need to feel guilty afterward because it was not you who made the relationship unbearable.
The thing is, he is not the only one. I’m sorry to break it to you, but there are countless other guys who are waiting to see and cherish your beauty.
There are guys who will make an extra effort to show you just how special and unique you are.
I know that you are questioning yourself now, but you will heal and you will thrive. Loving and respecting yourself is the only path forward.
You will find the one and you will enjoy every second of your journey.