A revenge affair seems like the right thing to do once your partner cheats on you. When your man betrays you, you want to get back at him. What better way to do that but to give him a taste of his own medicine?
You believe that he’ll be able to understand your suffering if he experiences it firsthand. But you’re completely blinded by this need for revenge that you forget to take into consideration the nightmare that comes with revenge affairs.
So, before you jump into something that you’ll almost certainly regret afterward, you should think about it thoroughly. Once you do this, there’s no going back, so you have to be sure of your decision.
For now, read this article, as it may help you understand the consequences of your actions.
1. You’re no better than him
Do you think you can tell him that he did something wrong if you did the same thing? How would you justify your behavior? Would you say that it’s his fault for doing it first?
Well, a revenge affair is a conscious choice. If you choose to cheat on him too, then you’re no better than he is. You’re just as bad because you chose infidelity over your relationship and your dignity.
You can tell me that you have a good reason for it, but I don’t buy it. A better alternative is to break up with him and then find someone ready to have a casual hookup with you.
That’ll be much better – and it’ll hurt him much more than if you went out of your way to revenge-cheat on him.
2. Hurting him won’t make you hurt less
Fighting fire with fire will only create bigger flames. You’ll burn up from the inside out and he’ll end up just as cold as he was before. Do you believe that a man would ever do this if he truly did love you?
Someone who considers you precious wouldn’t even think about this. So, at least love yourself enough to decide against this action. Show him that you’re the better person and that you’d never stoop that low.
I understand that you want to use a revenge affair to hurt him, but you’ll hurt him much more if you just move on with your life. I know that it’s not that easy, but hurting him this way won’t erase your own pain at all.
3. Once your anger subsides, you’ll think differently
When it hurts so bad, revenge after infidelity suddenly somehow seems acceptable. You see how easy it would be to make him feel the way you’re feeling and you want to jump into it without any second thoughts.
Your anger is completely blinding you. It’s hard to think straight in this situation because there are millions of thoughts going through your head.
You’re thinking about all the things you went through, all the things that you were planning to do, and most of all, you’re thinking about the two of them together. The thought of him and that other woman together makes your blood boil.
But you can’t expect his pain to take any of yours away. You’ll still be broken and bruised afterward. You have to figure out how to heal your wounds instead of tearing yourself apart even more.
4. He’ll use it against you
Another way a revenge affair can become a nightmare is when he holds it against you. He’ll use your behavior to justify his own actions.
You won’t make him feel bad, but rather you’ll make him feel better about himself. He’ll know that he can cheat on you with no regret because you did it, too.
What you have to do is show him that you’re above that. At first, he’ll think that you’re just weak, but then he’ll be miserable because he’ll understand that you were the better person in this situation.
You can definitely win this stupid game he’s playing by showing him that a good woman would never do such a horrible thing. He’s the bad guy in this situation and you shouldn’t be afraid to show him that you don’t need to stoop that low just to feel good about yourself.
5. Your relationship will never look the same again
The worst thing you can do to yourself is to forgive a cheater. Giving him a second chance will only remind him that he can break your heart over and over again without any consequences.
Even if he understands what he did wrong, apologizes, and tells you that he’ll never do it again, there’s still a chance your relationship will be rocky forever because you’d constantly be thinking “what if.” Now imagine how it would be if you did the same thing.
If you believe that you’ll make things better with a revenge affair, then you’re greatly mistaken. Your relationship will continue to fall apart until there’s nothing but crumbs left.
Good luck healing from that.
6. It’ll only make you more insecure
You probably think that it’ll make you feel better about yourself. A revenge affair will make you feel wanted and desired. You’ll feel like even though your boyfriend doesn’t want you, there are still men out there who find you desirable.
And sure, it’ll make you feel confident for a while. It’ll seem like you’ve made the right decision because it’ll feel so good at first. But the moment reality sets in, insecure will come knocking.
You’ll start to think about the things you did and what you could’ve done differently. This feeling will follow you forever because you won’t be able to forgive him or yourself for both of your actions.
You don’t need to go through that.
7. You’ll hurt another person in the process
Did you even think about the feelings of the third person involved in this drama? The man you use as your affair partner may end up heartbroken if he lets you do this and then finds out that he was nothing more than a revenge affair.
Can you imagine if someone used you like this and then went back to their ex? It would completely shatter you. You don’t have to do this to someone else just because you’re hurting.
He could easily fall for you or expect something more to happen. Now you have more drama on your hands and another broken heart to mend too. This entire situation is just a whole nightmare that you could’ve easily avoided.