We all enter relationships with certain ideas: how we should act and interact, and what the most important relationship roles are. Are we ready for all of that?
Sometimes our views are similar. And sometimes they aren’t. Problems may appear when partners have different ideas about their roles. Yet, there are some relationship roles that are vital for your success.
Stay tuned – I’m about to share some pretty amazing advice with you.
What do I mean by “roles”?
Each one of us has various roles in life, and they can even change during our lifetime. Think about what roles you have at the moment. Are you a daughter or a son? Maybe mother or father? A sibling? Someone’s aunt or uncle? A best friend?
You also have a role when you’re at work. You may be a teacher, administrator, lawyer, cook, or something entirely different.
We can choose some of our roles, but some of them are born with us. It’s also normal that some roles bring more joy to our lives than others.
Then there are other roles we take up in life completely subconsciously. We usually form them according to our relationships with our families and friends. You may be the one who tries to calm the situation down or the one who starts the drama. Maybe you enjoy being in control, or prefer to stay silent.
So, now what do you think are some of the roles you have in your life?
What are the most important relationship roles?
Our relationships play a huge part in our lives. It’s something we definitely want to keep working on and always try to improve.
So, what if I tell you there are three relationship roles you must have if you’re looking for the healthiest romantic relationship ever? Don’t believe me? Then read this and I’ll prove it to you.
1. Best friends
Some of the most important people in our lives are our best friends. So why shouldn’t your partner be your best friend too?
You should be each other’s protectors in this world. Always have your partner’s back and solve problems together. After all, you’re hoping to spend the rest of your life with that person.
Think back to how you always wanted to have sleepovers with your bestie. Well, now you have the opportunity for a lifetime of sleepovers!
If your partner is your BFF, you have no reason to feel self-conscious or act out in the relationship. You can always be your true self and that’s a perfect base for building a healthy union.
You probably already know each other’s insecurities, weaknesses, and even bad sides. In fact, those characteristics may become strangely endearing.
All couples fight. But when your partner is your truest friend, big arguments are usually easily dealt with. They often turn into a playful fight, nothing more than that.
You’ll live the life of the happiest person on earth. Random laughing, singing, dancing, cooking, and traveling are just some of the things that will go on between the two of you. Trust me, it’s the stuff worth envy and admiration.
As best friends, you’ll trust each other and enjoy each day that comes. Even if your partner criticizes you for something, you’ll understand that he always wants what’s best for you and that his intentions are good.
Now, this relationship role brings the real magic. It isn’t only about the physical aspect, it is about vitality, creativity, and delight.
The two of you are in a romantic relationship, so being lovers shouldn’t be a difficult role to maintain. Are you surprising each other with little gifts, cute messages, and romantic dinners? Showing how attracted you are to each other? Keeping the spark alive?
Yes? Amazing! You’re on the right track. No matter how long you’ve been with your partner, these little things should never cease to exist.
However, if you’re unsure how to answer those questions, and you sometimes feel like something is missing, tell that to your lover. You’re best friends, and honesty is always present, remember?
Never feel afraid to point out if you notice that your partner’s role as a lover isn’t performed well. It’s very important that the two of you feel you’re desired and loved at all times. It will keep you happy and satisfied, so you’ll never wish to seek these things elsewhere.
Chemistry is as vital to a healthy relationship as water is to our survival. Without that spark, a relationship is not likely to last in the long run.
If you can’t decide whether you’re successfully maintaining this role, try answering these questions:
Do you consider your relationship romantic?
Are you both passionate?
Do you know how to create chemistry between the two of you?
Is your life together filled with vitality?
Are you satisfied with the quality of your physical relationship?
Are you satisfied with the frequency of physical intimacy?
Do you feel that something needs to change?
Does it feel like something is missing?
The third relationship role is the role of “artists,” or as some people may call it, “creators.” This is about teamwork and making plans to build your future together. It is one of the keys to being in a happy, lifelong relationship.
The two of you are trying to build a perfect relationship; so you’ll need to create and paint it together. You should be ready for a lot of teamwork. In order to live in an enjoyable environment, you and your partner must be prepared for some negotiating.
You’ll have small discussions about the color of your walls or the new TV you want to buy. And the bigger issues will surely appear from time to time, where you’ll need to work together.
If you want to be a good team player, you’ll need to think about this:
– Flexibility. Try to meet your partner halfway.
– Active listening. By being an active listener, you show that you value their input. It builds trust and encourages innovation and creativity.
– Problem-solving. Always consider the different sides of the argument. Try to respect all points of view. Remind your partner that you’re both working toward the same goals.
– Effective communication. Be honest and transparent, but always speak carefully. You never want to say something offensive or rude.
– Positive attitude. Always bring energy and enthusiasm with you.
It’s important that the two of you are able to imagine your future together. Talk about your plans, and try to figure out the next steps that will help you reach your goal. Dare to dream about your perfect house, job, and family. Share your thoughts and work together towards building that life.
Relationship roles that can negatively affect your love life
Okay, I’ve told you everything about the types of relationship roles that will help you and your partner. But sometimes we take up other ones that can possibly have a negative effect on our love lives.
Here are some of them:
1. Drama queen
This person always has a dramatic response to everything that’s been going on. You could say it’s all or nothing with them. Things are either utterly amazing, breathtaking, and wonderful, or the worst disaster ever.
The drama queen always tries to be in the center of attention. It doesn’t matter if it’s a public space, or your cozy home (that’s definitely not that cozy after these scenes). Okay, it can be funny or even endearing at times, but be honest, who could tolerate that every day?
The problem this might create in relationships is that people get tired of it and it pushes the partner away. Constant dramas are too exhausting to deal with on a daily basis.
2. The controller
We’re all sometimes a little bit controlling. But the emphasis is on little!
To a controller, not having everything under control raises their anxiety levels to maximum. And what’s even worse is that everything has to be done the way they want. They will always think that their way of doing something is better than yours.
A person like this is likely to be passive-aggressive and their behavior might lead to conflict. Also, it brings the danger of distancing from the partner.
3. The victim
”Oh, poor me! Why always me?” Honestly, we all know a person like this. The one who’s constantly complaining about their job, finances, love life – well, basically everything. I like to call these people “vampires” because they’ll drain the last drop of your energy and make you share their misery with them.
These are people with a victim mindset who always see themselves as powerless.
They will tend to interpret events as negatively as possible and take things personally no matter what the case is. They will usually hide when it’s time to take personal responsibility to change things, instead of blaming others for their mistakes.
A healthy relationship needs to be built on mutual respect. Each person has to take responsibility. If one fails to do so, the relationship will most likely stagnate, and emotional closeness may be compromised.
4. The martyr
”Oh I’m so tired, I’ve done this and that today’‘ kind of person. Sound familiar?
This person always makes sure to let you know how much they’re doing for everyone else, and how tired they are. After talking to them, it’s likely that you’ll feel like everything you’ve done during your 8-hour shift, the martyr has done in two.
All I can comment is that they would be the winners of “push the guilt button” competition! You’ll probably often hear the famous phrase: “After all I’ve done for you!” but trust me, sooner or later people start ignoring it.
Having a martyr as a partner is definitely not the right step if you’re looking for a healthy relationship. This person will always try to point out how good they are and how they’re the only ones trying hard.
Their partners eventually decide to leave because of the negative feelings that have been constantly present in their relationship.
5. The persecutor
The persecutor will be the first in line to criticize you, but will mysteriously disappear when it’s time to own their problems. This one makes others feel unworthy, and sometimes blameshifts others for everything that’s wrong in their life.
They feel like putting their partner down helps them escape their life of low self-esteem and makes them feel powerful. Staying in a relationship like this is destructive to persecuted one’s mental health and partners usually decide to leave after some time.
6. The rescuer
And the last out of these six, potentially negative, relationship roles is the rescuer. As soon as they sense the slightest problem, they will appear out of nowhere to provide a solution. This doesn’t seem that bad, and it can actually be a good thing. But only if they know when to draw the line!
The problem is that their advice isn’t always helpful. Here’s the thing, most people like finding a solution to their problems alone. And after all, they’ll ask for help if they feel like someone else could give a good idea.
The rescuer never asks before offering their help, which may make for some really awkward situations. Their partners might feel like they are seen as incapable. And eventually, they’ll probably lose their feelings altogether.
Be aware that people can change, especially if they love someone. So, always be your partner’s best friend, and with the right mindset, all these negative roles will be limited.