Think aloud
Whether or not you’re ready to admit it, everyone has their own relationship needs list. For a romantic relationship to be successful and long-lasting, those needs have to be met.
However, the problem seems to be in finding someone suitable who’ll successfully respond to your requirements and whose needs won’t be too difficult for you to respond to. A healthy relationship requires both partners to be emotionally, socially, and physically satisfied.
Those needs are rather unique but a relationship needs list includes things that every person should recognize within themselves and at the same time try to satisfy in their significant other.
You might have had a break-up where your ex seemed distant and cold and the reason for that could be because their emotional needs weren’t met at all. Or it could be that they pulled away because they weren’t fulfilled regarding their physical needs.
The truth is that it’s difficult to start a new relationship, since you don’t know enough about the other person, and you have to remember that every human being is unique in their own way.
While others may say that their emotional needs are most important, others may disagree with this. That’s why it’s quite challenging to find someone who suits you and with whom you can spend the rest of your life.
You may not be aware of this but that’s how we choose who’s going to be our best friend. In most cases, that’s someone whose needs are compatible with ours and vice versa.
Relationship needs can be categorized into three large groups: physical, emotional, and social. The way a person prioritizes them depends on their personality and they will differ in the strength of need.
Emotional Needs
It’s not tough to understand what emotional needs actually are. It’s a condition or state that we need in order to feel emotionally stable, happy, and content, which is directly connected to our inner emotions.
Whether or not you accept it, those needs play a significant role in relationship satisfaction.
It’s pivotal that those emotional needs are met not just by our parents while growing up but by the people who are closest to us, such as our significant other.
Once you see that your emotional needs have been met, it won’t be too difficult to open up to your partner.
You have to understand that all of us seek validation in one way or another and everyone wants their basic needs to be met.
So don’t believe if someone says to you that they don’t have their own relationship needs list, including emotional ones such as these.
1. Loyalty
Loyalty is something that should be necessary to all of us. It’s an emotional need that must be non-negotiable if you want to have a successful relationship.
Most of us make the mistake of thinking that loyalty only means not cheating on our partner and being faithful to them. But it’s much more than that.
It also means that your significant other stays by your side, come hell or high water. It doesn’t matter what life throws at you, your partner should be right there beside you, so you don’t have to fight alone.
Also, loyalty includes that you and your partner are always honest and don’t ever lie to each other.
When you find someone who’s loyal to you, they won’t be afraid to open up to you and talk about even the most uncomfortable topics.
2. Commitment
Another thing that everyone should include in their list is commitment. This emotional need is closely connected to the previous one and ranks pretty high on the list of relationship needs.
In an age where everything seems to be hectic and rushed, it’s rather difficult to find someone who’ll commit to you for the long run.
However, a healthy relationship can’t have a future if both partners aren’t truly committed to each other.
We always expect our partner to be romantic and someone who won’t turn their back on us when problems start to appear. We also don’t want someone who won’t put any effort in or who’ll make us their second choice.
Deep down, we’re searching for that special someone who’ll always choose us over everyone else and who’s the best possible choice.
Also, a lot of women want their man to prove their commitment through their actions and not just words. For many, having a partner who’s afraid of commitment is a real deal-breaker.
3. A sense of connection with someone
It’s a natural desire to feel connected to other people. My personal belief is that people aren’t supposed to be alone and having a sense of connection with someone is one of the basic human needs.
It’s also one of the biggest reasons why many relationships fail. If you don’t have that connection, how can you expect to satisfy your partner’s needs and make them happy?
If you want to make your relationship work, you have to share a deep and meaningful connection with your partner. But what does it mean to feel connected to another human being?
Well, it means that you’re drawn to each other not just physically but emotionally and psychologically as well.
It also includes you sharing the most important parts of your life with each other and feeling like you have a special place in their life, the same way they do in yours.
Having that sense of belonging and closeness to someone makes us feel like we’re truly understood by the other person. The truth is that no person can be genuinely fulfilled without this.
4. Love
You may think that love isn’t an emotional need but it actually is.
The most awesome and unique feeling that you can have is when a person loves you and when you know you love them back with all of your heart.
It can bring you such calm and joy and it’s something that nothing else can compete with.
Love is the driving force of life and without it, there wouldn’t be us. We are the product of two people loving each other dearly.
Love makes us feel special and awakens special feelings inside of us. It’s wonderful knowing that someone has our back no matter what and that their love is unconditional.
Some may even agree that love is the only thing worth fighting for.
5. Acknowledgment
Many people face the problem of not actually knowing the other person before jumping into a romantic relationship with them.
Why? Because everybody wants to present themselves in the best possible light at the very beginning.
You pretend to be someone you’re not for the other person to love you but little do you know that you’re making a huge mistake. After some time, that mask will fall and your partner will get to know the real you.
The thing is that they may accept you but they may instead reject you completely because you didn’t show who you really are from the very start.
However, there are those who don’t want to pretend to be someone they’re not and show their true face all the time.
And one of the most beautiful emotional feelings that you can have is knowing that your loved one acknowledges you just the way you are.
If your loved one accepts everything about you and sets aside all judgment, then you can be sure that they love you for who you are.
Let’s face it, everybody has their own flaws, unresolved issues, and baggage but finding the right one who’ll accept them seems like an impossible mission sometimes.
6. Meaning
If you feel like the time you spend with your loved one is insignificant and like it doesn’t matter that you make time for them, then you won’t be emotionally satisfied at all.
Each of us wants to feel like what we do and how we spend our time means something to the other person.
It’s imperative that you’re both aware of what it is that you do together and where your relationship is heading. Otherwise, you or your partner may have unmet needs that can only lead to a break-up and nothing else.
It’s human nature to make an effort to have a huge impact on the people you spend most of your time with.
Only then will your emotional needs be met because you’ll know that you play a key role in their life and the same goes for them too.
Physical Needs
Most of the physical needs that I’m going to mention in this article are connected to your partner.
It doesn’t matter whether or not you’re able to admit it but humans beings need to feel a physical connection to others.
We have to have that special sense of intimacy and that’s usually with someone we’re ready to spend the rest of our life with.
7. Physical attraction
We don’t feel the same way about our friends as we do about our partner and that’s because we don’t feel physically attracted to them and they don’t feel any physical attraction for us.
It can often be simple to improve your physical appearance; you just have to maintain your health, hygiene, and fitness. Those are just the basics that fall into this category.
Some may say that an emotional connection is more important than a physical one but they’re actually equal.
You can’t form a deeper bond with someone if you don’t feel physically attracted to them. You won’t have the need to kiss or hug them if you’re not captivated by them.
8. Physical affection
Every one of us, whether male or female, enjoys being kissed and hugged by our loved one.
There’s no person on earth whose heart doesn’t skip a beat when their partner kisses them but that’ll only happen if your feelings for that person are genuine.
That’s why I’ll dare to say that physical affection is equally as important as honest communication and other levels of connection.
It’s something that shouldn’t be overlooked on the relationship needs list, as your bond will break if you don’t share those sweet intimate moments with each other.
The truth is that women usually put a lot more emphasis on this than men.
That’s because they tend to be more mature emotionally and they don’t care what other people think about them when they kiss their partner while walking down the street.
On the other hand, men are most likely to withhold from displays of affection when they’re out in public and would rather show you they love you in a more intimate setting.
Social Needs
Deep down in our heart, we want to feel like we’re important to society, like we can make a change and leave behind a legacy once we die.
It’s tough to think that no one will care about you when you’re gone and that feeling of emptiness can only be fulfilled by finding the right one for you. That’s someone who can also fulfill your social needs.
9. Communication
Communication is one of the pillars of a great and healthy relationship. It all starts with being honest with and supportive of each other.
How you communicate your needs in a way that’s clear and kind is essential. You have to do so if you want to avoid having any kind of miscommunication between you and your partner.
Remember, your significant other can’t read your mind, especially if you’re on your first date. So, if you want to know what they’re thinking and what they feel about you, you have to create a safe environment for them to do so.
One way to achieve this is by being sincere and communicating your feelings to them. Tell them everything that’s on your mind and if they respect you enough, they’ll reciprocate in the same way.
Your relationship will only work if you have honest communication with your partner. Only then will you be able to tell them when you’re not happy and work toward finding a solution together.
I’m not saying that fights and arguments won’t happen but expressing your emotions and opinions in a respectful and civil manner should always be your number one priority.
Crossing the line and hurting your partner will only worsen the situation and the love you have for each other will quickly fade away.
10. Respect
Respect is another key factor that you should definitely include in your relationship needs list.
One of the worst things that can happen to you in a romantic relationship is being taken for granted or disrespected by your partner. Your self-worth will definitely take a hit and you won’t feel happy at all.
Knowing that your ideas and opinions matter to someone close to your heart is incredibly important. Only then can you feel like you’ve accomplished something and be satisfied with yourself.
Mutual respect is a must for all relationships and it doesn’t matter whether they’re friendly or romantic. It’s also something that isn’t easily given and has to be earned.
11. Change
Some people like to have a routine in their life or they’re afraid of being spontaneous.
On the other hand, there are others who need some level of change in their relationship. They feel suffocated if certain things keep repeating over and over again.
That’s the reason why you need your partner to be a bit impulsive and ready to take some risks.
And if you find someone like that, you’ll have more energy and courage to be the best possible version of yourself, as their spontaneity will excite and motivate you to achieve great things.
12. Being playful
Even though your partner should be the one who always has your back no matter what, they should also be the person you unwind with.
This is someone who’ll ease your mind a bit and help you maintain your mental health and general well-being.
You may have chosen your partner because you have similar core values but it’s also important to have a similar sense of humor. These little things really do matter in a relationship and they can only strengthen the bond you two share.
Being playful doesn’t mean that you have to make a fool out of yourself. It can however include having occasional date nights or sending your partner some funny memes, texts, or DMs to their social media profiles.
13. Positive assurance
Being certain that your loved one won’t cheat on you and that you’re their only choice is part of a functioning relationship. You have to be sure that your partner won’t go behind your back and break their promises.
Also, you need them to be the person they present themselves to be. If not, then your relationship is already doomed to fail.
The sense of feeling safe and secure with your partner is incredible and should definitely rank high on your priority list.
14. Independence
Another thing that should be high on your relationship needs list is independence. Many couples fail to see that having their freedom while still being in a relationship is necessary if you want your love to last.
Even if you love your partner with all of your heart, you still need to have a sense of independence. Satisfying your partner’s needs is important but don’t forget that autonomy plays a significant role in that.
If that autonomy or your freedom is stripped away, you won’t have an opportunity to make your own choices in life. Essentially, you’ll become needy or clingy and no one wants to be with a person like that.
Getting enough space and time to be you outside of your relationship and regain your sense of self is one of the needs that most people have. However, the strength of it depends on a person’s personality.
So how do you know when your partner’s needs aren’t being met? Well, there are ways to know, if your significant other hasn’t told you directly by now.
Signs you may not be fulfilling your partner’s needs
1. They’ve stopped sharing parts of their life with you
Has your partner suddenly stop sharing stuff from their life with you? Did they always used to tell you everything that happened to them during the day but now they seem distant or cold?
Well, the reason for that could be that their emotional, physical, or social needs aren’t being fulfilled.
They will no longer confide in you or tell you when they’re feeling angry or sad. They’ll leave you guessing whether or not they miss you or even love you.
You won’t have an insight into what’s going on inside their mind or heart. Essentially, you’ll be left in the dark and you’ll know nothing.
They’ll start withdrawing, as they no longer feel comfortable or secure while talking to you.
On top of that, they’ll probably stop asking questions about your life outside of the relationship and the spark that you once had will start to fade away.
2. They’re going out alone more
Perhaps you’ve noticed that your partner started going out by themselves and now you’re wondering why that’s happening.
It could be that they don’t get enough attention from you any longer, so they may be looking for it in other places.
You may think that they’re cheating on you but it could be that their needs aren’t being met and that’s all.
3. You no longer have deep and meaningful conversations
When a person feels like they’re being taken for granted by their significant other, they start creating walls around them.
Why? Because they don’t feel safe and when they don’t feel safe, they’re uncomfortable.
That feeling can lead to them being afraid and not eager to share their deepest thoughts or desires with their significant other.
If you’ve noticed that your partner now avoids having long and deep conversations with you, it’s probably because their needs are no longer being met.
4. You fight a lot
Does your partner suddenly start fights or arguments out of the blue? Even though they never used to, something snapped in them and they no longer try to compromise but instead argue with you.
The reason for that could be that their emotional needs aren’t being fulfilled anymore. So, they’re seeking a way to express that.
Their passive-aggressive behavior is showing their dissatisfaction with your relationship. You need to talk to them about how to fix things – and soon.
