Your anxiety is lying to you. Not everyone will leave.
When you’re a girl with an anxious mind, your entire world seems to take on a different color. The color of stress, nerves, and abandonment is a very dark one.
Anxiety isn’t your friend. It’s the nemesis that people go to many lengths to defeat, but somehow it always gets the best of you.
Especially whenever you remember your friends, family, or partner.
Your friends have shown you so many times that they won’t abandon you. But the last time you had a fight with one of your friends, they left and it didn’t leave a nice taste in your mouth.
This only made you feel awful about yourself. You thought that it was your fault for their decision. You blamed yourself and sometimes you still remember it and cringe at the memory.
No one wants to see their friends leave. No one wants to make things worse to the point where one of you feels the need to walk away completely.
But you have to understand why this anxious attachment is so bad for your own mental health. You’re always reading too much into everything.
When your friends give you one-word replies, you’re immediately alarmed. You want to believe that you’re just overreacting, but your brain says that they’ll leave you.
They’re probably just busy, but that doesn’t translate into your own head.
You’re worried that your own enthusiasm isn’t welcome in their lives. You think about what you’ve said and re-read the text messages multiple times. You read through them as if every answer will find itself there.
With a mind like yours, you’re convinced that you must have said something wrong or done something bad. You play out the last time you saw them and rack your brain trying to figure out what you can do to make things better again.
But what if you ask them what’s wrong and they get mad at you for asking because you should probably know if you did something wrong?
The scenarios your mind creates are endless.
It even makes you believe that your family would abandon you if they weren’t bound to you by blood. When your parents had a bad day at work, it makes you believe that it was somehow your fault.
You even feel guilty for not being able to cheer them up. Who wants a daughter who can’t even make her mom and dad feel good?
When they called you and you didn’t hear the ringtone, you start to think of all the worst things in this world. You’re convinced that something bad must have happened and you’re such a bad daughter for not answering right away.
Anxiety tells you that you don’t deserve them at all.
How many times will this happen for you to realize that it truly isn’t your fault? You have to understand that not hearing your phone doesn’t have anything to do with the bad things that happen in this world.
These issues are bad as it is, but somehow, when romantic emotions are involved, your anxiety gets completely out of control.
The love you feel for your partner multiplies your fear that they might leave. Your own mind is sabotaging you.
You need him to tell you that you’re the woman he wants. You need his validation because otherwise, you’ll feel like you’re nothing more than a burden to him.
When he goes out with his friends and doesn’t text you at all, you immediately think that he’s already cheating on you. When he lets out a long breath after a fight, you automatically assume you’re just making him angrier.
He’s probably tried multiple times to help you with your anxiety. He’s told you that you’re not a burden to him and that you’re not worthless.
And despite you thinking that he’ll leave you, he’s actually head over heels for you. Your anxiety and the constant need to hear that you’re fine just the way you are is what might give him second thoughts.
However, if he truly loves you, he wouldn’t care about this issue at all. If anything, he’d be grateful to have a wonderful girl like yourself by his side, who’s so into him that she doesn’t want to lose him.
That’s exactly why you can’t let your anxiety take over you anymore.
Everyone who does leave doesn’t even deserve to be a part of your life at all. Just remember all those times when you wanted to keep someone who obviously wasn’t good for you or your health.
Even when you think that it was your fault that they left, they served as a lesson, teaching you something new. They taught you to be kinder, more caring and loving.
You wouldn’t be the person you are today if it wasn’t for all the people who chose to leave.
So don’t let your anxiety make you believe that everyone will leave. The people who aren’t worthy of having you in their lives are the only ones who will leave.
They don’t understand you and they never tried. Your true friends, your family, and the man who’s meant for you will stay and love you forever.
Focus on loving them and being there for them. Don’t let your dramatic brain get the best of you when it’s clearly not doing you any favors.
I know that you can’t turn off your anxiety with one switch, but you can work on this issue. You can make a point of telling your friends and family when you do feel anxious instead of making assumptions. Tell them how it makes you feel when they do something.
Tell them that you feel awful when they don’t reply or when they send you one-word answers. These little things might save you a lot of anxiety.
If these people refuse to do you this small favor, then they’re not the people for you and it’s fine for them to leave.
You have boundaries and if you’re able to respect theirs, they should respect yours as well.