Breakups are never easy. If someone’s said to you they didn’t suffer after they broke up with their significant other, they’re lying to you.
No matter what, ending things with someone you had a connection with is one of the most painful experiences that you can ever have.
You feel helpless and vulnerable. It’s like your heart has been torn apart and you don’t know how to regain control over your life.
But what if you’re getting over an almost relationship and an almost-boyfriend? What if you’re deciding to part ways with someone you were never in a relationship with in the first place?
Deciding to walk away from a man who was never officially your boyfriend and finally accepting that this “almost” isn’t going anywhere can be even tougher than ending an actual relationship.
You can’t lose someone you never had, right? You don’t have to worry about your heart breaking into million pieces because that man was never yours anyway… Right?
Well, let me tell you now, you can have your heart broken over an almost relationship. Heartbreak is still heartbreak.
It really doesn’t matter if it’s caused by a man you called your boyfriend or a guy who has made a huge impact on your life yet never had a label.
The truth is, sometimes it’s harder to get over an almost relationship than an actual one. I know this because I’ve been through it and it was hard letting go of him.
The thing is, you don’t leave him because you grew tired of him or because you don’t feel the same excitement as you used to.
It doesn’t happen because you’ve had enough of his poor behavior or you feel that he isn’t ready to commit to you as if he’s scared to give himself to you.
When you suffer over your almost, you don’t just miss them. You’re not reminiscing over things that happened or lament over memories you had that you’ll never be able to make again.
When you’re trying to get over your almost – someone who was never yours – you’re actually letting go of all the things that might have happened yet didn’t. You’re walking away from the future you guys could have had only if you tried.
You’re getting over all the non-existent romantic nights and dinner dates, all the places you guys never visited, or anniversaries you’ll never celebrate. You have to get over all the opportunities that you had but were too afraid to take.
You could’ve been in love. And he could have been yours. But now, you’re having an awful time trying to get over an almost relationship.
Why? Because you have to get over the fact that you’ll never know how it would feel to be called his or to hold his hand.
You’ll never know how it’d be to lie down with him and snuggle up on those cold winter nights. Or what it’d be like to really be a part of his life.
You’re suffering because you’ll never get the closure that you deserve. Your unspoken questions will never be answered and you won’t get your explanations for why it simply didn’t happen.
When you’re trying to get over an almost relationship, you’re also trying to find a way to love yourself again.
You’re trying to chase away the thoughts of why you weren’t enough for him, or if your love for him was even real.
And you’re battling against self-doubt and your own insecurities that are caused by this thing between the two of you that just never made it all the way.
You’re suffering because of the fact that you guys failed before even trying.
And the truth is you’re never going to find out if you guys could’ve made it and if you could’ve had your happily ever after with each other. You might have succeeded if you were strong and brave enough to give it a try.
And you’ll never find out if being in a relationship with this man would have made you genuinely happy.
But don’t beat yourself up over someone you never got the chance to date.
Don’t suffer in silence over an almost relationship. Because the truth is, if it was meant to be, it would have happened. God would have made a way to bring you closer if he was your true love.
And remember, you don’t have to explain to anyone why you needed this long to get over an almost relationship. The only person you owe an explanation to is yourself.
Maybe this man didn’t have the chance to be in a relationship with you because he didn’t have the courage to ask you out. Or maybe you thought you were ready for a relationship when, in reality, you simply weren’t.
You’re allowed to suffer, but don’t be too hard on yourself. Give yourself enough time to heal from this breakup.
Learn to love yourself and the right man will love you the way you are. And you’ll meet your true love. You just have to be patient.
Even if it was an almost relationship, you can still have your heart broken. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.