Most people really love movies. And if you’re like me, then you’ve likely seen at least a few romantic movies. You know, a sad guy meets a sad girl and life instantly becomes better. Their relationship is perfect and they get their happily ever after.
Does it sound familiar? I bet it does. Then you’ve also likely spent some time wondering whether you’ll find the perfect partner. Maybe you tried a couple of times, but the relationship didn’t seem to match up to the one you saw on TV and wished for.
It was full of ups and downs, so you thought it wasn’t meant to be. But in reality, all relationships are like that. You just have to be careful that the “downs” aren’t toxic, then you and you’re partner are totally fine together.
But here’s the thing. Sometimes we want the perfect relationship so badly that we consider every minor inconvenience a huge problem, when in fact, those “problems” don’t need fixing. They’re just some things that try to trick us into thinking that we need to stress about them.
Do you want to know which ones? I’m sure you do. So, scroll down to see the most common relationship situations that we mistake for problems.
1) The two of you have different life goals
Lots of people are afraid of being with a person who has different life goals, wants, and needs than their own. It makes them feel scared that their differences will lead to them choosing totally different paths, resulting in their relationship crashing.
So they try to fix this relationship problem either by changing their own wishes, or manipulating their partner to do so. However, in reality, this isn’t a problem at all. Why?
Simply because every person is different. We each have our own plans, wishes, needs, and goals that have been there even longer than we’ve known our partner.
And those differences won’t lead to the end of the relationship. It can even be the thing that makes it stronger.
Now, let’s imagine two partners with entirely different life goals and interests. Here’s why that’s not a problem.
Firstly, they get to teach each other something new. Secondly, they have different sources of income. Thirdly, it’s fun to watch one’s partner succeed. And lastly, it will be good for their future kids to have parents with different backgrounds, interests, and knowledge.
2) Your family disapproves of your partner
This is a common situation when it comes to relationships and a thing we consider a problem. Throughout life, we learn to value our parents’ opinions so highly that when we get older, we sometimes can’t find enough strength not to follow their advice.
Mostly, they really are right. But there are some situations that definitely don’t demand us to listen to them. And one of those situations is choosing our partner.
It’s fine to listen to your parents talking about what they like and don’t like about them. Heck, it can even reveal some stuff you might not have noticed.
But if they only have negative comments about your partner and they’re always urging you to break things off (even if the two of you are really in love), then it’s completely fine to ignore their advice.
It’s your life. Your future. Your partner. It’s not something they should choose for you. If you truly love the person you’re with, you’re aware of their perfections, but also their imperfections, and you still want to spend your life with them. Then there’s no need for you to leave them just because your parents want you to.
3) You sometimes get the ick
Maybe you’re in a relationship and there’s something that really puts you off, so you consider it a huge problem. Even though everything else is practically perfect, your focus constantly switches to banalities you find so irritating.
For instance, your partner chews loudly and it’s really annoying. You’re sometimes even embarrassed when you eat out, thinking other diners can hear it too. Even though they can’t, you still feel like it’s simply awful.
Or maybe your beloved one snores. It’s so loud, it’s difficult for you to sleep. Then you start thinking about whether or not you’ll be able to stand it for the rest of your life. Sometimes, it feels like a nightmare you want to escape.
I know it might feel like a problem, but take a minute to think clearly.
Is it something that makes your relationship toxic? No. Are those situations showing that your partner doesn’t respect you or isn’t loyal to you? No. Is it something people can easily change? No. Then it also shouldn’t be considered a problem that needs fixing.
4) You don’t always agree on small things
Your favorite color is blue, and you want the bathroom to be that color too. But your partner likes yellow and thinks yellow walls would look much better. When you get into a fight about the colors and decor, you then end up thinking that you aren’t right for each other.
Or you want to set up your dining table in one way, but your partner doesn’t want it like that. The two of you both have solid arguments to back yourselves up and neither of you wants to give up. It can reach a point where you start to feel like you’re having some serious relationship problems.
Think about similar situations and if they sound familiar to you, then you need to know this: You don’t have to always agree on small things to be in a good relationship.
The two of you are different people and it’s totally fine that you don’t agree about everything. This isn’t something to stress over. Find a compromise and everything will be fine.
5) You don’t have free range of each other’s phones
Maybe the two of you had an agreement at the beginning of your relationship that you won’t go through each other’s phones. After some time, though, you hear that lots of your friends read messages on their partners’ phones and suddenly you want to do the same.
But when your significant other doesn’t seem so happy about your request, you immediately jump to conclusions by thinking there’s a huge relationship problem. When in fact it’s just something you’ve previously agreed on.
If you don’t trust your partner enough not to go through his or her phone, then I don’t think the two of you should be in a relationship at all.
I hope you now realize not everything that seems like a problem in a relationship, is actually a problem. Sometimes we are just too focused on living a perfect life that everything that doesn’t fit this vision is considered a huge issue.
Keep these five things in mind and I’m sure you’ll start feeling better in your current relationship, or the next one you enter into. Don’t stress too much about the things that don’t demand stressing.
Live your life to the fullest and work towards getting that almost perfect relationship (perfect ones don’t exist, remember?)
Good luck!
Leave a comment