Breakups are hard by themselves, but when you combine the terms breakup and narcissist, you get a dangerous combination that shakes up your world at its core.
One of the hardest things to do is to break free from a narcissistic partner. To see through his false promises and save yourself from future pain.
Because narcissists are usually the ones who make the final call, to run away from them is extremely hard. They lovebomb you, make promises that they constantly change, and play the victim card trying to make you feel as bad as possible.
So, if you’re the one who successfully broke free from the narcissistic claws – congrats! You did one of the hardest things in your life, and you should feel genuinely proud of yourself.
While everyone is talking about narcissists and the way their behavior works, I want to talk about you – the victim of narcissism who had the courage to walk away.
I want to talk about the pain you feel even after you end a relationship with a narcissistic man.
Because that pain never goes away, it only becomes easier to live with it.
It’s obvious that narcissists play a dirty game. They are self-absorbed and don’t see past themselves.
The main focus is self-happiness, so other people don’t bother them.
Because of that, the damage they leave behind can be irreparable.
It feels as if your whole life you’ve been building yourself, and once a narcissist walks in, he tears everything down.
After he’s gone, you’re left alone to build everything from scratch.
Every little piece of yourself needs to be reinvented, no matter how. And that’s what takes up the most of your energy.
When a narcissist leaves you, he takes away everything you are and leaves the pain only.
You no longer remember who you were before he came into your life.
What were your aspirations? Your goals for the future? Your dreams, fears, or ideas?
The only thing you now know is that you’re afraid of people because you never know what they may be hiding behind a mask.
What if the next guy you meet will do the same things to you?
What if you find the strength to fix yourself back up and start all over, and then someone else breaks you again?
How can you know the real intentions of people from now on?
You trusted this guy. He pretended he was perfect but once he lifted his disguise, you saw his real face. The face of a man who changed you forever.
And not only that, you’ll have a hard time trusting people. You’ll also be afraid to let anyone in, ever again.
Another painful state a narcissist leaves you in is the constant questioning of your decisions.
You could go over the same thing multiple times just to make sure that you don’t decide wrong.
To be sure that your mistake won’t cost you as much as your previous one did.
“How do I know this is the right way to go? How do I know I’m not making the same mistake?”
Because you know how it feels to do something willingly and end up with your body on the ground, shaking violently because you can’t admit that this is your reality.
You know how it feels to go through war with your own mind, forever second-guessing yourself because you don’t know what’s right or wrong anymore.
The pain that a narcissist leaves behind is real. It’s there even when months or years pass by.
He might have long moved on to the next victim, and you’ll still feel the consequences of the time he spent in your life.
Because of the pain that you’re feeling as an aftermath of dating a narcissist, I want you to know that you’re not alone.
I understand the way you’re feeling right now.
I know that it might seem like a hopeless situation with no way out. But trust me, as time passes, it becomes easier to cope with reality.
You learn to live with the pain. And most importantly, you learn to not let it control you.
In the beginning, while the wound is still fresh, you may feel as if there’s no way out of the mess he left you in.
That you’ll never be able to get your life back on track.
But day after day, you’ll regain your power and stop letting his bad treatment rule you.
It’ll become easier to live a life after him because you’ll learn more about yourself through those times of struggle.
You’ll realize you’re stronger than you think. You’ll realize that narcissist chose you specifically because of your strengths.
He saw you as a person who suits his needs – a person he can fight with because narcissists never choose those they think are weaklings.
They want to win the game with the strongest competitor they can find.
That’s why you should never blame yourself for ending up with a narcissist. You weren’t an easy target that he could manipulate.
Instead, you were the right opponent for him – one who he had to fight for in order to win his dirty game.
Even though he left you traumatized and played with your feelings, know that things will get better.
You’ll become stronger and learn what it means to go through a life-changing experience.
Because your relationship with a narcissist was exactly that – it was the period in your life that will always be stuck in your mind.
He might’ve left you in pain and ruined your sense of self, but that’s what will make you grow.
When you learn to turn all that pain into joy, you’ll understand how capable you are.
And you’ll be proud of everything you went through.