It won’t happen the exact moment I walk away from you, but one day, you’ll wake up and you’ll miss my presence.
You’ll realize that I was the only person who ever truly cared about you, without limitations. I made sure to protect you even when you were unable to protect me from your bad behavior.
I went around telling people how amazing you were when the reality was far different. Instead of loving and cherishing me, you never knew how to treat me right.
You put me down and walked over me, and I still made excuses for you.
“It’s just a bad week.”
“He had a hard day at work.”
I cared about you even in the moments when you didn’t care about me because I thought that I was supposed to give you all of the love that you were missing.
So, I fought for you, showered you with care and attention, and prayed to God that something would click inside your head and you’d realize how much you meant to me.
You were my first love, the guy I gave my heart and soul to. From this point of view, it looks like you never cared about that.
But one day, once reality hits you, you’ll realize that something is missing. A piece of you will be gone and at first, you’ll have no idea what’s going on with you.
You’ll reach for your phone with the intention of dialing my number but you’ll have no idea why.
You’ll get home and search for me in the bedroom while having the feeling that you’re going crazy because you know that you aren’t supposed to do that.
One day, you’ll wake up and you’ll realize that you miss me.
You’ll miss the way I cared about you and the way I had eyes only for you. You were my only one, even when you forgot to show me that I meant the same to you.
Maybe you were afraid to talk about your feelings. Maybe you thought that I would start playing with you if you showed me your love.
Whatever it was, it was moving me away from you and you didn’t even realize. You kept living your life without even noticing that I craved your attention.
I craved those moments where the two of us were sitting alone in a warm room, holding each other’s hands and feeling like no one could ever separate us.
Who would’ve thought that our biggest enemy was actually in the room with us? Because as it turned out, you were the one who never wanted us to succeed, you were the opponent of our happiness.
If only you had been different. Then I would never have felt what it means to be in love with a guy who doesn’t know how to show love the right way.
I’d never have been in love with a guy who thought that I would never leave him, no matter how he treated me.
But I had to go. I couldn’t take it anymore.
That feeling that I was the only one who gave and still got nothing in return was eating me alive. I had to stop it because if I hadn’t, I would have probably lost myself.
But life goes on and I know that the day I left was the day I gave myself numerous possibilities.
It was also a day that would change your life because, at some point, you’ll have to realize that I’m gone and that my departure was your fault.
And once you figure out that by yourself, you’ll keep reaching for me, begging me to come back and give you another chance.
You’ll make promises that you’ll change and admit that everything was your fault. But I won’t be back.
No matter how much you miss me or how hard you try to win me over again, I won’t be able to go back to you.
It would be like I was willingly making myself walk through a fire that had already burned me. And I can’t do that.
You’ll try to move on. You’ll date many girls, looking for my reflection in each and every one of them.
Perhaps, if you close your eyes hard enough when you hold them in your arms, you’ll see my face in front of you. Perhaps, if you convince yourself that they’re a lot like me, you’ll begin to trust that thought.
But no matter what, none of those girls will be me and you’ll always miss the way I cared about you and made you feel loved in moments when you knew that you were not lovable enough.
There will be many nights where you’ll make yourself fall asleep by thinking about me. You’ll imagine me next to you and hug a pillow while pretending that it’s me.
You’ll have dreams about me and in them, both of us will be happy. I’d still care about you and you would be happy that I was back in your life.
Then, you’ll make those dreams a part of your reality because you won’t be able to admit the fact that I’m gone.
The girl who cared about you the most is out of your life and it’s because you never saw the way she loved you. You ignored her and took her for granted and now that she’s gone, you can’t accept that.
Every day we spent together was a chance for you to change your behavior. It was a chance to see how much I loved you and cared about you.
But you still kept neglecting me and pretended that we were fine when we were far from that.
Now that you want me back in your life, I must admit that I don’t need you in mine anymore. I’ve learned my lesson the hard way and I can’t let myself go through the same thing ever again.
I know that you’ll miss the way I cared about you, but I won’t be there to comfort you. I’ll be long gone, living my life the way I was always supposed to.
It was your so-called love that kept me in one spot for much longer than it should have. I’m sorry, but you’ll never be the guy I need in my life forever.
So, one day when you wake up and call me to tell me how much you miss me, you better put the phone down because I won’t answer you.
I know that you’ll miss the way I cared about you but I won’t be there anymore.
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