It was everything I ever wanted.
You, me, and our perfect little world. And I had it. Not for as long as I wanted, but long enough for me to experience true love.
Or at least I thought that’s what it was.
I admit I am a hopeless romantic. Ever since I was a kid, I spent my days reading books, watching movies, and imagining my perfect love story.
Then one day, I saw you. You were the type of guy I dreamed about. The one who’d write me letters, kiss me in the rain, send me flowers, and sing in front of my window. You were all of that, my prince on a white horse.
On our first date, you told me about your favorite painting, Girl With a Pearl Earring. The most beautiful woman and the perfect brush moves made by Vermeer, you said. That night, I spent three hours reading his biography and the meanings behind his works.
Then a few months passed, and you told me I was your new favorite piece of art. I’ll never forget how happy you made me feel.
Hey, do you remember our first trip? You took me to Italy because you knew how much I love Romeo and Juliet. Then you gave me that necklace and made me a promise you’d soon replace it with a ring. We’d be happy, together forever. I wonder what happened to that…
It was a dream come true. Rainy days, hot chocolate, and our favorite movies. Or a sunny day in the park. It never mattered to us, the only important thing was that we were together.
You were my person, and I was yours. Someone who’d always be on your side, no matter how tough things got.
Then, day by day, I noticed you were changing. At first, I thought I loved you too much, so the fear of losing you must be messing with my head. But then our friends started asking questions.
“Is everything okay, we haven’t seen the two of you for a while?” “Is there a problem, you seem worried?” “Did something happen?”
That’s when I realized it’s not only in my head. I asked you about it, but you would just snap at me every time. You told me I was paranoid and that everything was fine. I believed you… for some time.
Then, you slowly stopped hugging me, kissing me, and telling me how much you loved me. I asked about it, and you snapped. After some time, you started ignoring my calls and texts, and you were always home late. I asked again – you snapped.
Even though you never admitted it, you did change, and our little world did start to crumble. I wasn’t your favorite art piece anymore, nor I was the one you wanted to marry. I was just a girl you were once in love with.
You know, I tried so hard to keep you. Begged you not to go. I yelled and cried, and prayed for you to stay. Promised: “I’ll be more fun, I’ll be prettier, I’ll be better… Just never leave me. I need you, I always will.“
And you stayed. I was so happy to still have you that my only goal was to make you happy. My whole life was centered around you. I spent days planning our trips, preparing your favorite meals, or making little gifts to surprise you.
You still weren’t impressed…
I started going to the gym, and dressing differently… you never seemed to notice. I even dyed my hair for you, but I didn’t get the reaction I was hoping for. Actually, you just made a tasteless joke that only mentally unstable girls suddenly change their hair color.
Then, you told me you wanted to leave… again. I felt dizzy, I knew was going to lose you, but I still begged. I fell to my knees and cried while telling you that you’re my whole world.
But this time, you were blunt. It was like you never even cared at all. How could you? Why would you want to leave me? All I ever did was love you and you chose to break my heart.
That’s how my world finally crumbled.
It’s been a month. I’m not on my knees anymore and I never will be again. I got up on my own.
Congrats, you got the chance to see someone beg for you to stay. Did it boost your ego, huh? Is that why you stayed? I promise you, you’ll miss me one day.
At first, I was broken, then I was mad. Not at you though. I was mad at myself for trusting you. Angry that I fell for someone like you. But it’s not all my fault, I guess you were a great actor and I was a hopeless romantic who believed your movie.
I tried so hard to keep us together, and now, I don’t really regret it. Because I know I was honest and my love was pure. I’m actually proud of myself and how much I’m able to endure. But true love doesn’t ask for suffering, so ours definitely wasn’t.
I promise you that you’ll never find a woman like me. One who’ll love you and cherish every moment spent together. Someone who’ll put you above everyone and everything, and someone willing to try as hard as I did.
Thank you for teaching me a valuable lesson. I changed myself for you, and I never should’ve done that. Because the thing is, if you have to change, he just isn’t your Prince Charming. The right person will come and he will love you and all your perfect imperfections.
Do you miss me yet? Don’t worry, you will. Just like I missed your hugs, kisses, smile, and attention, you will miss everything about me.
You will miss the woman who tried so hard to make you stay. You will look for me in other girls, but you’ll never find me. I was a one-time chance, and you succeeded in messing it up.
I thought our relationship was everything I ever wanted, but now I know it’s everything I never needed.