“I finally found someone who sparked my interest! He seems absolutely perfect in every way imaginable and my friends would think I lost all my marbles if I let him get away. But… I don’t want to make yet another mistake. How can I be sure he’s the love of my life?
Oh, to be young and in love again! There’s hardly anything better than crossing paths with someone who seems to possess everything you’ve ever looked for in a man.
He’s incredibly handsome, charming, and clever. He’s made an impression on your friends, and your mom has already picked out your wedding dress.
He is perfect… on paper. You can’t really pinpoint what’s making you rethink your relationship with him, but you can’t shake this nagging feeling that something isn’t adding up.
Maybe the two of you don’t click as well as everyone else seems to think you do. Maybe the two of you you don’t get that feeling of happiness and serenity when you’re together.
Or maybe he’s doing things you’re not sure someone who’s in a relationship should be doing. Maybe, maybe, maybe…
Here’s the thing – you can never be 100% sure that the man you’re in a relationship with will end up being the love of your life. But, there are certain things you might want to keep an eye out for to save yourself from a nasty heartbreak.
1. He doesn’t include you in his plans
Now, I know exactly what you’re going to say: “Just because we’re a couple doesn’t mean that we have to do everything together!” You’re not wrong, the two of you are allowed to have lives outside of your relationship. But…
You have to understand that if he was the love of your life, he would include you in his plans. It doesn’t matter whether you’re able to go out and hang out with his friends or attend his family dinner, he would ask you out of respect.
And not only that, he would include you in important plans regarding your future together. He wouldn’t accept a business offer that requires him to move to a different country before talking it through with you.
He wouldn’t book a three-week holiday without asking you if you were interested in coming with him. And he certainly wouldn’t talk about his goals for the future without including you in them.
So, if he doesn’t include you in his plans, he isn’t planning on sticking around long enough for that to become a problem.
2. He talks about you behind your back
It’s pretty simple – what happens between the two of you should stay between the two of you. If he’s going around talking about you and your relationship behind your back, he isn’t the love of your life.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s completely normal to turn to your friends for advice. There’s nothing wrong with asking for their opinions, taking their advice, or just having someone to talk to when things aren’t working out the way you want them to.
But, that doesn’t mean he should talk trash behind your back whenever the two of you get into a fight. That doesn’t mean he should turn his friends against you by telling him everything that goes on behind closed doors.
Even if you’ve stumbled on a rough patch in your relationship, he should be mature enough to deal with it without his friends tutoring him and telling him what to do.
You’re not in a relationship with his friends. They shouldn’t get to have a say in what goes on between the two of you.
3. He lies to you
I’m not talking about those little white lies most people use to avoid hurting someone they care about. White lies are pretty common (and harmless) in most relationships.
They shouldn’t be the reason you decide to question whether he’s the love of your life. That being said, if he’s consistently being dishonest and deceiving you…
You should consider having an open conversation with him and confronting him about everything he’s ever lied about. You can’t build a solid foundation of trust if he’s adamant about concealing things from you. Don’t even get me started on that one!
The only thing worse than a man who can’t seem to tell the truth is a man who thinks “I didn’t lie to you, I just didn’t tell you about it” is a totally valid thing to say.
Trust me, he isn’t the love of your life if you have to spend most of your time wondering whether or not he’s being honest.
You can’t have a committed relationship with someone who isn’t willing to commit to honesty. There’s no arguing that!
4. He flirts with other girls
There’s a thin line between being nice and being flirtatious. He might give an encouraging smile to the lady behind the cash register, or ask the waitress at the Cheesecake Factory for her name because he wants to give her a tip.
He isn’t flirting with them, he’s simply being nice. None of these things should raise any questions or suspicions on your part, but…
If he’s engaging in a deep conversation with a random girl he met when he was out with his friends, he might be overstepping that line. What’s even worse, he might be doing these things behind your back because he’s sure you’re never going to catch him.
You might argue that flirting doesn’t necessarily mean he’s cheating on you. Trust me, the only thing stopping him from cheating on you is the possibility of you catching him.
He doesn’t want to risk everything the two of you built for a moment of passion.
Don’t let the fear of being alone convince you to make the biggest mistake of your life.
It can be incredibly discouraging to find out he’s not the person you thought he was – not the love of your life. But, rest assured, bigger and better things are waiting for you just around the corner.
Rid yourself of this unfulfilling relationship and make yourself available for something greater than anything you could have even imagined.