People really do hate changes in their lives. We’re comfortable having certain people around us and when they leave, it’s as if they’ve created a hole in our hearts that only they’re able to fill. But keep in mind that not everyone you lose is a loss.
Even though most of us try to avoid having our hearts broken, it’s inevitable at some point in our lives.
And once it does, the negative emotions overwhelm and paralyze your body and soul to the point where you think that you don’t have the strength to move forward.
You don’t even have to have a close relationship with that person for them to leave a huge gap in your life. It may be someone you barely knew but who changed the way you perceived certain things.
It’s possible that the grief you’re feeling right now isn’t caused by a human being. Rather it could be that you feel like you’ve missed the opportunity of your lifetime and so it’s left you depressed.
But not everything or everyone you lose is a loss. More times than not, we learn our lessons and grow from the losses we face in life.
I can tell you from personal experience that those who left me taught me how to become stronger and opened so many opportunities that are way better than I could ever have imagined.
Moments when you realize not everyone you lose is a loss!
I understand that letting go of a person who means a lot to you is difficult, but you never know what the universe has in store for you. You have to give yourself some time to feel whole again if you ever want to crawl back up from that dark place that you’re in right now.
Even if a broken heart is all that’s left, remember that the power of positivity can change your life for the better, but you have to be patient and never lose hope.
Here are some moments that will easily show you how not everyone you lose is a loss!
That one friend you thought would always be there for you
It’s quite normal for people to come and go – it’s how life works. It’s not something you should dwell on because there’s a lot of possibilities and places you can go to to meet new people and make new friendships.
But every one of us has that one good friend (or rather ex-friend) who we thought would always be there for us yet ended up disappointing us big time.
And no matter what other people say, a broken friendship can hurt just as much as losing a romantic partner, if not more. Not having that special friend or best friend who you thought would always have your back, come hell or high water, hurts like nothing else.
You may ask, how can that hurt as much as a relationship breakup? To answer that question, you have to understand that we all seek loyalty. It’s one of the most important traits a friend should possess.
But losing a friend is their loss rather than yours. You’ve spent a lot of time taking care of them, and you’ve done everything to please them, so why should losing them hurt you even the tiniest bit?
Keep in mind that they’re the ones who lost a good person in their life – not you. Eventually, they’ll figure out how much value you used to bring into their life and try to come back to you.
But what they don’t realize is that a broken friendship is tough to build up again.
The toxic relationship you have with a family member
Family relationships are always tough to handle. When you think of it, that person is your relative and the relationship you two have should last forever.
But what happens when you realize that they won’t have your back at all times? When you finally see that they don’t have your best interest at heart?
In today’s chaotic world, it’s not easy to maintain a healthy relationship with anyone, especially with your family. It’s not that unusual for someone to lose the support of his/her family members because of something they’ve done.
That mostly happens when you don’t see eye to eye with them on important aspects of life. It also happens as a consequence of one side being too selfish and choosing less important things over the relationship.
When someone who means everything to you puts their selfish needs over the bond you two have, it can make you feel like you’ve lost a part of your heart or soul.
That one person can turn your entire life upside down and make you question whether or not your beliefs are right.
But not everyone you lose is a loss. Although it may be difficult for you to grasp now, what you’re really losing is their negative influence on your life.
You’re getting rid of the toxicity that poisoned your mind and kept you from growing both mentally and emotionally. Eventually, that one person would’ve prevented you from evolving and having control of your own life.
And when you see things this way, you should in a way be glad that they’re no longer a part of your world.
The job that kept you from chasing after your dreams
As I stated before, it’s not just people who leave scars on our soul and heart. Missed opportunities and situations we thought would never happen can also have a tremendous impact as well.
And it’s overwhelming getting fired from the job that you really relied on to pay your bills and buy the stuff you need.
But remember: After rain comes the sunshine and every cloud has its silver lining. I know, though, it might be tough for you to see it when everything around you seems gloomy and negative.
Getting fired isn’t the worst thing that can happen to you, trust me. When you think of it, losing a job can really motivate you to go back to school and get that college degree or find another job that’s more fulfilling than the one you had.
You’ve heard people saying, “When one door closes, another one opens.” And that’s actually true.
So, don’t forget to chase your dreams, even if they seem impossible right now. And don’t let other people’s opinions knock you down. Prove to yourself and to them that you can achieve anything.
The romantic relationship you thought would last forever
Each of us seeks that special person we’re going to spend the rest of our lives with.
We spend an endless amount of time dating, getting to know each other, buying expensive gifts – only to find out that the person wasn’t planning on sticking around for too long.
Even if you love them with all of your heart, it’s heartbreaking to realize that they don’t reciprocate your feelings. In situations like this, your faith in love vanishes, and you lose any hope of finding the right one for you.
But wait up. Not everyone you lose is a loss, remember?
Even though everything seems bleak and empty when you face heartbreak, and all those love quotes hold zero meaning to you, you have to bear in mind that the pain won’t last forever.
You need to go through different stages of emotional healing before you feel alive again. And once you get over them and realize that you’re better off on your own, that’s when you’ll truly be happy.
You’ll see that your happiness doesn’t depend on others and that you only need yourself. That’s when your self-respect will skyrocket and you’ll grow into a superwoman.
Losing the person you thought would be your happily-ever-after is awful. But this person’s exit from your life may lead to other open doors that can enable you to find the person you’re really supposed to be with – your true love.
What to do when the person you love decides to leave you
Now that you’re familiar with moments when you realize that not everyone you lose is a loss, it’s crucial to know how to behave and what to do in those times.
If you find yourself going through a situation like the ones I mentioned above, there are certain things you can do that will surely help you.
Even though there are some things on the list you probably don’t want to hear, I know it’ll help you get back up on your feet again.
1. You have to let it go
It’s always inexplicably difficult having to deal with someone who’s ready to leave you for good. But the strongest and the kindest thing you can do – not just for yourself but for the other person – is to let go.
If you decide to stick by their side even though they don’t want you to be a part of their life, you’ll remain stuck in an endless cycle of despair and sadness that’ll only get worse over time.
Not everyone you lose in life should be seen as a loss. After all, you’ll still cherish the moments you spent with this person. You’ll still feel happy every time you reminisce on the times you shared with them.
But never cling to any bad thoughts or memories for too long, though, because you’ll only be making the situation worse for yourself. Why? Because living in the past prevents you from embracing the present.
Sure, you’ll yearn for the happiness they brought into your life, but once you let go of them, you also learn how to be happy with and by yourself.
When someone decides to walk away from you, you have no other choice but to let them go physically as well as emotionally. Clinging to them is unhealthy for you and disrespectful to the other person.
They no longer see a future with you. It’s time to accept that.
2. Don’t interpret them leaving as a loss of love
Even though a person loves you with all of their heart, they may still choose to leave you. Sometimes when a person decides to walk away from you, they’re unable to give you a rational explanation for why they’re doing it.
It might be because they want to focus on some other things in their life and love isn’t a priority to them at that point in their life.
Or it could be that you’re not compatible enough to be together, even though there’s a definite spark between you two.
Whatever the reason might be, just because they’ve decided to leave you, doesn’t mean you should doubt their emotions or assume they’ve done so because their love for you disappeared.
People have different reasons for why they walk away from someone, and while loss of love is definitely one of them, it certainly isn’t the only one.
3. Quit blaming yourself
It’s sometimes hard to recognize the warning signs that someone might leave you, especially when all you think about is how perfect they are.
So when your worst nightmare comes true and they do leave you, your whole world falls apart and you start questioning whether it’s your fault.
But that doesn’t just happen when you lose your significant other. It also occurs when you face a loss of a family member or a good friend.
Just because they left you, you don’t need to humiliate yourself or think of yourself as less worthy. Sure, they didn’t leave without having a reason to do so, but have you considered that they’re the ones who are imperfect and not you?
Don’t use this opportunity to whine about your life and lock yourself up in a room to cry all day.
You definitely deserve an explanation for why they’re leaving you, but that’s about it. They don’t have to ask you for your consent when they do decide to walk away.
The suffering and insecurity you’re feeling are only your own, not theirs. Learn to deal with your concerns by yourself and you’ll never have to worry about someone breaking your heart again.
Put yourself in their shoes and try to decipher their reason for departure. See things from their point of view – it may just help you survive the pain you’re feeling.
4. Don’t let bitterness overtake you
It’s fairly easy to fall into the trap of feeling bitter toward someone when they decide to leave you without any explanation.
It seems as you have every right to feel this way as you contemplate the reasons they’re gone out of your life.
Usually, we tend to believe that it’s easier for us to see the bad in them and to intentionally get so bitter about the things they’ve done that we start hating them.
But it doesn’t work that way. The more bitterness we harbor inside of us, the more we try to seek revenge for what they’ve done. And that’s a slippery slope.
That’s why it’s important for you to learn to let go so that you don’t have any malice consuming you.
Lessons to learn when you realize that not everyone you lose is a loss
Losing someone you love is part of being human and the quicker you accept that, the easier it will be for you to process your emotions and completely recover.
Now that you know what to do when you realize that not everyone you lose is a loss, it’s also crucial that you grow from it, so you can avoid making the same mistakes twice.
1. Bad things just happen and you can’t do anything about it
Each of us relies on some form of routine or pattern, and we love to categorize things. It’s part of what makes us humans. We try to find reasons why certain things are happening to us, but sometimes that’s impossible.
You have to accept that the person left you without giving you a proper explanation why. The thing is, certain things happen without a reason, and it’s a rather scary thought.
Even if you convince yourself that their departure made you stronger and gave you the courage you needed to go after your goals, it’ll be a while before you’re able to find any meaning in the event itself.
Eventually, though, you’ll remember it as a moment that made you who you are today. And you’ll learn to live with it.
2. You can’t suppress your emotions forever
Guess what? It’s perfectly fine to feel sad, devastated, and torn apart if a person close to your heart leaves you.
For you to get back up on your feet again, you first have to allow yourself to feel all of those negative emotions. The worst mistake you can make is to suppress them and hope that they won’t resurface ever again.
Of course, that’s easier said than done.
Whenever you’re feeling lonely, all those suppressed emotions come out and overwhelm you with sadness and despair.
If you want to avoid the endless blues and start the healing process properly, you have to embrace these feelings. Say to yourself, “It’s okay that I’m feeling sad right now, tomorrow I’ll feel better.”
With each day, you’ll gradually start feeling better and grow to become a better version of yourself. The more you feel, the more you give yourself the chance to fully heal and prepare yourself for the next obstacle that comes your way.
3. You can mourn your loss and yet love fully at the same time
After a person who means the world to you leaves, overwhelming loneliness can keep you from seeing all the beauty surrounding you.
But what if I told you that there’s plenty of room in your heart to mourn your loss and love fully at the same time?
Would you believe me if I said that you don’t have to wait a couple of years to get back out there and start dating other guys?
Well, it’s true, and the sooner you realize that, the faster you’ll start living your life again.
As you heal, you’ll learn to live with grief. Not everyone you lose is a loss and not every loss has to be interpreted as an interruption of life.
4. Do whatever you want to do to protect your broken heart
It’s perfectly fine to be afraid of letting other people in while your heart is still healing. You don’t have to force yourself into doing anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.
Also, you can do whatever you want to protect your broken heart. And this may take many forms based on what you need.
If you want to forget about your ex-boyfriend, then unfollow him on social media and delete his number. If you are tired of your friends telling you what you should and shouldn’t do, then hit the pause button on certain friendships.
Whatever the case, it’s up to you. You know how to best protect your broken heart from tearing apart even more.
There’s no shame in taking a break or moving away from things that cause you pain. Put yourself on the top of the priority list and protect your heart at all costs.
5. Love lives on
I know you’re currently facing loneliness and sadness. But keep the faith that someday you’ll be surrounded by those who only mean the best for you.
Love is the only thing that matters, and losing a loved one in one way or another teaches you that even you are worthy of love and belonging.
And when you think of it, love isn’t actually what hurts. It’s the mess inside of your head that’s been keeping you awake at night.
6. You will feel joy again
I will never forget the first time I experienced someone walking away from me. I was devastated and thought that I’d never be happy ever again.
But after some time, when all those emotions settled and I learned how to deal with them, I finally found reasons to genuinely smile and laugh for the first time again.
And you will too. You just have to be patient and learn to live with the past while enjoying your present.
Remember, your happiness doesn’t depend on others, and not everyone you lose is a loss. When one door closes, another opens.