A good man is the type of guy you’ve always been hoping for. You’ve wanted to have someone in your life to love you unconditionally, treat you like you’re everything to him, and show you all the things that the men before him lacked.
He’s the type of guy your mom wants you to marry one day.
But what happens when that good guy is the one who ends up hurting you?
People always warn us about the bad boys. These men enjoy hurting women and always play their little games. At this point, we’re more than able to see the first signs of toxicity or narcissism.
We can smell manipulative behavior on the very first date and know that we should keep away from the guy.
One day, you see a red flag and can pinpoint what he’d be capable of doing in the future that’ll lead to a broken heart. You know that nothing good can come from that relationship, so you leave the guy.
So now you’ve met a kind one. The nice guy. The good guy everyone’s dreaming about.
He’s the hero of your story – the man who treats you like you’re his queen and nothing’s ever going to change that. That’s why it’s such a hard thing to realize that he can break your heart just as badly as any other man can.
Sometimes, the heartbreak is even worse when it comes from a guy like him. You didn’t see it coming. You never knew that it could hurt like this because you gave every part of yourself to him.
Believe me, because I know what I’m talking about. I fell in love with what I thought would be the man I’d grow old with.
He gave me everything I was looking for and more. He showed me that love isn’t supposed to hurt and made me believe that when you love someone from the bottom of your heart, it lasts forever.
What he never showed me was that he was going to hurt me and break me. He never once led me to believe I’d cry this hard because of the words he said or things he did to me.
As you know, we all carry pain from our past. I’ve been through a lot regarding my love life and somehow I always come out of relationships broken and bruised.
The men I’d meet would simply take advantage of my kindness. They’d get what they were asking for – a friend, a lover, someone to listen to them – and then they’d leave.
That’s what always happened to me. Until the night I met him.
He seemed like the kind of guy who was so honest that people would usually mistake it for rudeness. But he never once had the intention to hurt someone.
There was a type of fondness behind his gaze whenever he’d listen to me talk. He looked at me like he was memorizing the way my lips formed words.
He seemed to see every speck of emotion in my eyes when I looked at him. I believe he could see it right there because he’d always smile a little when our eyes met.
His touch was so gentle. Like he’d break me if he touched me the way he wanted to. He never crushed me with a hug, but tried to make me feel safe in his arms.
Even his lips were soft when they kissed mine. He seemed to explore my lips carefully each time as if he’d scare me away if he kissed me too passionately.
I knew I’d never love anyone as much as I loved him. The moment I felt my heart ache for him, I knew I’d always want him around. That’s why it made me wonder if he could read my mind because he was always near.
He was the man all my fairy tales spoke about. The man I could brag about to everyone around me.
One day, though, a switch flipped in his head and things started to seem different. I never once saw a red flag in his behavior.
He was never controlling, never jealous, never overbearing. But he was also never aloof.
He never made me feel like he didn’t care, until one day I saw something change in his demeanor. He seemed to hate being around me.
The man of my dreams started to daydream when I was around. He didn’t listen to me when I spoke, where before he’d always listen, and I never got to know this side of him. So when he started to roll his eyes at me and interrupt me when I was talking, I just brushed it aside.
After a while, he didn’t listen at all. I would beg for a moment of his attention and his only response was annoyance.
A good man can break your heart too. That’s when I realized that my heart was breaking little by little each day. That’s when I started to hope that he’d be the guy I fell in love with once more.
But he never went back to the man I learned to trust. He stopped making plans for the future with me and each day he’d spend less and less time with me.
That included dates as well as texting. He simply didn’t seem interested in what I was up to anymore, nor did he want to tell me what he was doing.
I didn’t want to know because I was controlling, but because I was genuinely interested in his day.
Things fell apart when I had a sneaky suspicion he’d found someone better to spend his time with. That’s when I started to see things that I ignored, like the fact that he’d cancel plans with me or put his phone face-down on the table. He’d even smile at his phone without letting me in on the joke.
I guess, I just couldn’t help but ask if there was someone else in his life. He just stayed silent and looked at me as if I should’ve known it already.
I remember crying for days because I didn’t want to lose him, but I also didn’t want to compete for his attention with anyone. I knew that I was better than that, but my treacherous heart wanted him more than anything.
He said he’d gotten bored of me. That this other woman was way more fun and that she was the girl of his dreams. That’s when it struck me that he felt like that the entire time while I was falling hopelessly in love with him.
I should’ve known that even the man I thought would be good would hurt me when I least expected it.
The issue is that no one teaches you how to deal with this problem. You just know that it hurts. No one prepared you for this or told you how to get through it.
I just guess that I have to work it out by myself. No one could’ve ever guessed that he’d be capable of shattering every part of me just like any other man could. Maybe even worse.
I simply wish that people taught me how to heal my heart from a good man.
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