My dear, it’s okay to leave.
Pack your things, don’t turn around, and keep walking.
There is always that message roaming around that we need to stay through the tough times. Especially when it comes to women because, for some reason, everyone thinks that we’re the eternal caregivers.
People say that you need to stay and wait until the man you’re with realizes that life isn’t about partying but about family. And you’re always the one who has to stick around and wait for your guy to get his plan together. You stay and let him break your heart over and over again, just for the false promise of a better tomorrow.
During this time, you work on yourself daily. You know what will make you happy, so you go after it.
That’s why you read books, you hit the gym, and you do everything to become a better version of yourself. A huge part of that is because you want to make him happy as well. You want to show him that you’re working so hard on yourself for your future.
A huge part of you is also hoping that you’ll inspire him. You want to see him thrive because you can see his potential. It’s not like he’s a lost cause.
But you can see how you’re outgrowing him. You’re becoming smarter each day. You’re becoming better at dealing with stress, and you even started therapy.
Once you start working on yourself, one thing comes after another. You see much space for improvement because your authentic self is telling you that you can achieve so much.
Even when it comes to your education and your career. You want to achieve so many things because you can’t just let life pass by you. You want to use everything life has to offer you and the opportunities you get motivate you even more.
But he’s stagnant.
It’s like watching a child grow up.
People always say that women need to cut men some slack. That women mature much faster than men. Have you ever thought about how much gibberish that is?
No one’s ever said to men that they need to look up to women and see us as the more mature beings. They still find excuses for their childish behavior, but there’s no excuse for women.
But what if I told you that it still profits men? The patriarchy permits them to be as childish as they want, while also having an excuse to date much younger women.
That’s inappropriate and wrong on so many levels.
Women are taught from such a young age that we need to take care of ourselves because no one else will take care of us. No one will give us any compassion. Should we ignore that or should we put our foot down and give them a reason to step up their game?
We know there are so many men out there who are amazing. Those men believe that they’re their own responsibility, without putting that burden on a woman.
So, news flash, it’s okay to leave if you’ve outgrown him. It’s okay to find your happiness somewhere else and to see for yourself that life has so much more to offer.
There’s someone out there who’ll meet you at the same wavelength, someone who wants to work just as hard as you do. There’s a man who’ll do everything in his power to show you that he can match your efforts.
Don’t get stuck with a guy who’ll hold you back, because he’s crawling while you’re running. You’ll get to the finish line ages before him and he’ll just be mad about it. He’ll throw a tantrum like the toddler he is.
Find yourself someone who motivates you to work on yourself, not one who brings you down with their own negative thoughts.
There’s no way you’re unaware of how he’s been putting you down. He makes you skip your gym sessions, makes you feel bad about eating healthy, and doesn’t get your need for therapy.
He thinks that all of it is nothing more than a complete waste of time. If it were up to him, he’d probably make you throw your life away just like he’s doing with his.
You need to understand that it’s okay to outgrow people and that you can’t just follow the flow of others. If your capacity for change is so much bigger than his, then you need to get to it.
When you find the right guy, you’ll realize just how much better you can become when you’re surrounded by people who are just as intense about their journey you are. He’ll push you forward and even accompany you.
He won’t be the type of guy who’s jealous of your success, he’ll cheer you on from the crowd. He’ll be your biggest fan instead of your harshest critic.
The right guy won’t need to put you down to lift himself up because he’ll have his own life to focus on. He’s as proud of himself as he is of you.
Your current man can only flex about the fact that he got an amazing woman like you are. He can only come up with some stupid jokes to keep people around him interested.
But you’re not that woman. That’s why you need to know that it’s okay to leave when you outgrow him.
You can’t put your entire life on hold just to get him to be more serious and catch up to you. If he doesn’t want to do better, let him be miserable.
But you need to leave.