If you’ve ever been in a toxic relationship or blinded by love, then you know what it means to lose your identity for the benefit of being loved by a man.
Unfortunately, you’re not alone in this. Many women around the world face the same problem and I, too, experienced this. I completely neglected my own feelings and needs, and the only thing that was important to me was my partner.
I started idealizing my ex-boyfriend and after a while, he had full control over my life. It seemed as if he was the only thing that mattered to me and that I hadn’t anyone else besides him.
But soon I realized that I wasn’t alone. It’s just that I didn’t care about anything else.
He knew how to take advantage of me and I was the one who let myself be betrayed and hurt. The guy left me wounded like all the others who came before.
Finally, when I came to my senses, I realized I had to change. I grabbed the bull by the horns and made up my mind not to give up until I succeed in my goals. In the process of achieving them, I learned a couple of valuable lessons that I want to share with you today.
You can continue chasing your dreams even if they don’t match your partner’s dreams.
Usually, when two people want to build a future together, they’ll share their dreams with each other and try to match it as much as possible.
Many of us are looking for someone with the same visions, goals, and dreams in order to be in a healthy relationship.
But that doesn’t have to be true at all. You can set your own goals and work towards achieving them while your partner gives you support in any way he can.
It’s important that your partner is always there for you whenever you need each other.
Surely, you’ll be disappointed a bit that your dreams don’t match your partner’s, but if you manage to sort things out together, you’ll be able to have a wonderful and fulfilling relationship.
Always prioritize the relationship you have with yourself.
I understand that it’s easy to get lost when you start a romantic relationship with someone. I won’t lie to you, I’m guilty of that too.
But once I got out of the toxic relationship, I realized that certain things have to change. I was left alone with no one there to pick me up.
So, I started working on the only relationship that really mattered – the one I have with myself.
I’m not saying you should put your partner’s needs and wishes on the bottom of your priority list. But the very top should always be reserved for one person only: YOU.
When I learned that, I made a promise to myself to never again allow anyone else to become more important than me.
Truthfully, the relationship that you have with yourself will set the tone for all the other ones in your life. That’s why it’s important that you take care of it and never lose your identity.
You’re allowed to have a life outside of your relationship.
Once you become blinded by love, you end up dedicating your entire free time to that one person. You think you need to choose between your partner and your friends and family, but the reality is different.
You don’t have to pick one or the other – you can have the best of both worlds.
Unfortunately, many women don’t follow through with this and their partner becomes the center of their world. That’s really unfair to all those people who have been there for you when you were at your lowest.
I was in a very similar position and I promised myself that I would never repeat the same mistake. They hold a very special place in my heart and I’m never going to take them for granted again!
You can’t sweep problems under the rug.
Some women aren’t that good at confronting their partners about things that are bothering them. Honestly, I was one of them, And because of that, I always swept all of our problems under the rug, hoping they’d magically disappear.
As you could guess, that never happened. In fact, they piled up until we both cracked and couldn’t take it anymore.
Now I’ve learned to cope with those issues and talk about them with my partner in a healthy, respectful way.
You need to set your boundaries.
If you’re unable to establish boundaries and let your partner know that he can’t overstep them, you’re setting yourself up for repeat heartbreaks.
I have to confess I’m still working on this because I failed to do this in all of my ex-relationships.
But you need to keep in mind that there are certain things in a relationship that are non-negotiable. Always express your boundaries to your partner.
Tell him that you’ll hold onto them no matter what, and that you won’t tolerate certain behavior from any man.
Compromising with your partner is a must, but you can’t change yourself completely for someone else.
The basis for every healthy relationship is compromise and sacrifice for the one we hold dear to our hearts. But you can’t lose your identity in the process of doing so.
Even if your partner asks you to do something, that doesn’t mean you have to jump immediately and obey his every wish. Don’t ever change and lose yourself for the sake of being loved by a man.