Skip to Content

My Mind Is Telling Me To Leave You, But My Heart Isn’t Listening

My Mind Is Telling Me To Leave You, But My Heart Isn’t Listening

I always wondered why it was so difficult to leave you, even though you hurt me so badly. I thought to myself ‘You have to go now, leave him for good,’ but my heart was never listening at all.

And I know that you would let me go in a heartbeat. You wouldn’t even think twice about staying with me and putting in the effort to solve our issues.

You’re not that kind of a man; you’re just a lonely boy hiding behind an adult mask. I know that I have to leave you if I want to keep my sanity, but I just can’t.

As soon as I think about leaving you, I know that you would come back, begging me to give us another shot, saying that we can rekindle the old flame, but it won’t make a difference. You would just hurt me again.

Sometimes, I really feel like I’m your toy and nothing else. As if I’m a sturdy soldier toy that you can pick up and play with nicely.

And once you grow tired of me, you’ll simply toss me aside – like I mean nothing to you. As if I’m worthless and don’t deserve your attention.

DONE! My Mind Is Telling Me To Leave You, But My Heart Isn't Listening

The truth is that I don’t know how our love even happened. I was always careful not to fall for the wrong guys and prepared myself for the worst.

I expect the worst from people and let them surprise me with their kind acts. I always made sure that my heart stayed intact and I let no one near it.

But everything changed that night. The night when the rain was pouring down and I found shelter in a bar.

There I was, soaking wet, drinking, when all of a sudden, there you were. I’m still unable to describe that feeling properly.

You offered to help me and drive me home and as you did, I felt like nothing before.

I’d built walls high enough so no one could climb them, but you tried. And guess what? You succeeded.

All of them tumbled down and I felt vulnerable once again. This time, with you.

I fell in love so fast, I couldn’t comprehend what was happening.

DONE! My Mind Is Telling Me To Leave You, But My Heart Isn't Listening

I didn’t even realize that my heart had said yes to you, I just felt safe and secure in your arms.

It felt like I had my own guardian angel who protected me from anyone and anything.

And my foolish heart believed that you were going to stay with me forever.

I was happy and at ease.

My mind wasn’t constantly racing, thinking that you would hurt me in any shape or form.

And now I know that I shouldn’t have let my guard down because you broke your promises.

You hurt me and it hurts so much now. My whole body is aching and my mind is telling me to leave you but my heart isn’t listening.

You put on a real show, telling me that you were going to stay with me forever and that I was going to be your only one.

You promised me that no other girl would ever feel your hugs again and that your lips were mine.

DONE! My Mind Is Telling Me To Leave You, But My Heart Isn't Listening

Oh boy, was I wrong.

I never thought you could be so cruel and cold. You aren’t the man I thought you were.

At the end of the day, you’re just a spoiled boy who thinks he can do anything he wants with other people.

Like hurting a girl doesn’t mean anything to you because you have zero empathy.

You never cared about how I was going to feel because of your actions. Maybe you believed that I was made of stone and that I couldn’t be hurt.

At times, you would hurt me so much, just to come back a couple of hours later, acting as if nothing happened.

You didn’t even muster up the courage to say you were sorry and try to solve our problems.

No! You’re not that kind of a man.

DONE! My Mind Is Telling Me To Leave You, But My Heart Isn't Listening

But it was peaceful for a while.

The sun shone and our relationship was excellent for some time, but then the storm would come and lightning would hit again.

We argued with each other, thinking that the other would back off, and even then, you never truly left me.

You would go away and quickly come back as if something was pulling you back to me. Just like something inside my heart was pulling me to you.

And I really thought it was love.

You promised me dozens of times that you were going to change, you were going to fix yourself.

I know you had a lot of problems and most of them were inside of you.

And once we addressed the elephant in the room, you made it very clear that you were going to change for me, that my love was going to change you completely.

DONE! My Mind Is Telling Me To Leave You, But My Heart Isn't Listening

However, here we are again. The storm has returned and the same problems exist and they won’t go away; they never will.

And if you came back again, you’d be even worse the next time.

From a young age, I learned that if you want to genuinely love someone, you have to accept their good and bad sides. And I did that.

I loved you completely, despite your problems.

I don’t regret loving you because we were absolutely obsessed with each other. Our chemistry and passion were things that you rarely come across.

But it wasn’t enough for us to stay together.

I expect my partner to give me his everything. His soul. His body. His heart.

You can’t expect to have your happily ever after if you don’t have all of that. Just one of them isn’t enough for love to survive.

DONE! My Mind Is Telling Me To Leave You, But My Heart Isn't Listening

Still, I stood by your side. I tried to rationalize you and you took me for granted, you disrespected me, and made me feel worthless.

But darling, when you say that you love someone, you don’t do things like that to them. You don’t just come and go.

The truth is that my head made peace with the fact that we’re never going to be together anymore.

On the other hand, my heart isn’t listening. My heart still loves you and it can’t let you go.

My Mind Is Telling Me To Leave You, But My Heart Isn't Listening

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *