Think aloud
“I assume that my ex is in a rebound relationship but I don’t know if it’s true. Am I making this up or has he really replaced me with the first woman he met after our breakup? And what do I do about it? Should I be out for revenge?”
Going through a breakup is never easy but when you find out that your ex has moved on in a matter of seconds, things only get worse. You’re still having trouble sleeping at night since you’re devastated about your breakup but it doesn’t seem that your previous partner is experiencing those same feelings.
This is the worst realization ever. You didn’t assume that it would hurt you this much to find out that your ex has moved on, but here you are, unable to think about anything besides him.
How can you be sure that this is just a rebound relationship and nothing more than that? And is there something you should do about it? Should you give him a second chance?
Let’s deal with these issues one by one.
4 signs your ex is in a rebound relationship
Some people believe that the best way to deal with the breakup is to get into another relationship as soon as possible. What they don’t realize is that these actions prevent you from moving on. They just prolong the healing process and cause unnecessary trauma.
Still, your ex-boyfriend may have decided to drown his sorrows in his own way. These following signs serve as proof that he’s in a rebound relationship even if you don’t want to admit it.
1. You recently broke up
“We just broke up. How can he already be dating someone else? How is it that my ex is in a rebound relationship?!”
One of the first signs that your ex is involved in a rebound relationship is the most revealing one as well.
He clearly didn’t know what to do and wasn’t strong enough to heal on his own. So, he assumed that the best way to forget about you would be to find another girlfriend.
Many people believe that rushing into a new relationship could save them but in the end, it all happens to be a trap. They carry all the burdens from their previous relationship into a new one.
And the worst part about it is that those who end up in rebound relationships don’t get the help they’re looking for. If anything, they end up suffering even more once they realize that their new partner can’t provide them with the salvation they’re looking for.
2. His new relationship is moving too fast
Does it seem like your partner’s new relationship is moving way too fast? It feels as if he’s skipping all of the important steps of getting to know each other. As if he pressed the fast-forward button.
Maybe his new girlfriend already met all of his friends which is something you had to beg him to do. She even met his family members and you see all those happy pictures where they’re attending family meals like a real couple.
A part of you probably feels jealous since you had to wait for a long time before the two of you reached this stage. His new partner has already got all of the girlfriend benefits even though she probably didn’t ask for them.
But just because you think that they’re happy, it doesn’t have to be that way. Maybe he’s simply trying to convince himself that the two of them are having a good time. He’s trying to continue right where the two of you ended your story.
However, he’ll soon realize that’s not possible. No one can replace you and his new girlfriend is just an illusion of happiness. Once everything settles down, he’ll realize how unhappy he actually is.
3. He’s trying to make you jealous
Whenever you run into him, it’s obvious that he’s doing things only to make you jealous. He’s talking loud about his new partner so you can hear him. He can’t stop kissing her the moment he notices you. Or he brags about how happy he is to your mutual friends.
This guy isn’t happy but will do whatever it takes to make everyone else believe that he is. At the end of the day, he’s still suffering after the breakup and this whole rebound thing is making it harder to heal and move on.
He assumed that pretending to be okay would help him but in reality, it only brought him back to square one.
4. His new girlfriend is all over his social media
Does your ex keep posting pictures with his new girlfriend even though you broke up a month ago? Does he keep mentioning her in his social media posts each and every day?
Well, this is the final proof that your ex is in a rebound relationship, doing his best to forget about you. But the more he tries, the bigger mistakes he makes.
All those happy pictures he posts are nothing more than poor attempts to make you jealous. But it’s all just a charade.
What to do when you’re sure that your ex is in a rebound relationship?
“My ex is in a rebound relationship, how should I react?”
Once you’re sure that your ex is in a rebound relationship, you may feel lost. What do you do now? Should you get back at him and make him taste his own medicine? Or should you try and have a talk with him? If he’s doing all of this just to convince you he’s happy then it means that he still loves you, right?
Figuring out your next step can be hard, especially if you broke up only recently. Your wound is still fresh and you’re unsure what to do now.
All of the emotions after the heartbreak still haven’t settled down and you have a feeling as if you’re not thinking straight. So, you need an additional help. You need someone to guide you and help you figure out where to go from here.
And that’s exactly what you’re going to get if you keep on reading.
1. Don’t beg him to get back together
After a breakup, rule number one is usually simple. Don’t call him in the middle of the night begging him to come back. Don’t bombard him with text messages asking him to have a chat with you.
If you do any of these things, you’ll only make matters worse for yourself.
I know you’re hurt. You’re used to having him around and now that he’s gone, you don’t feel like you know what you’re doing. Where do you go from there? How do you keep on living without him?
It may seem like he’s the solution you need but it’s not like that. Right now, you need to stay calm and allow yourself to process all of the emotions you’re experiencing.
Begging him to get back together isn’t going to help you, no matter what you believe. So, take a deep breath and take it easy.
2. Don’t try and sabotage his new relationship
Seeing him smiling with his new girlfriend probably isn’t the best way to start your healing process. At this point, all you want to do is sabotage their relationship and ruin everything they have.
But before you make any irrational decisions, first remind yourself that he’s only pretending to be happy. If it makes it any easier, you can be sure that he’s not over you yet. He’s just faking his feelings to hurt you.
So, don’t spread rumors about his new girlfriend, and don’t reach out to her and talk nonsense about him. You’re way better than that so there’s no need to do things you’ll regret in a month.
If he thinks that being in a rebound relationship will help him move on then let it be. Let him live his life the way he wants to and don’t try to interfere. Don’t lower your moral standards for someone who’s not worth your time and energy anymore.
3. Give yourself some time and space to heal
Don’t assume that you should get into a rebound relationship just because your ex did that. He’ll later on realize that he made a huge mistake and when that moment comes, you’ll be already over him and he’ll still be suffering.
So, the best thing you can do right now is to give yourself enough time and space to heal. Allow yourself to process every stage that comes after the breakup and learn more about yourself that way.
Also, make sure to either unfollow your ex or mute his posts so you don’t see much of him. Don’t stalk his profiles trying to figure out what he’s doing. Rather enjoy the moments without him and let your brain and heart detoxicate from his presence.
Remind yourself each day that your relationship would have lasted if things were meant to be. You can’t force anything and even though you’re going through the hardest experience of your life, things will get better. At some point, you’ll realize that everything happened the way it was supposed to.
He’s not the source of your happiness. He never was and he never will be. Learn to accept that!