New relationship terms are popping up almost every day, it’s almost impossible to memorize them all. Or is it just one millennial complaining about it, because I’m not able to keep track of these new trends? Maybe.
Today I’ve discovered that there is something called micro-cheating. Well, not that I’m not familiar with it, it’s just that I didn’t know there was a term for that. Can you imagine my happiness when I realized that I don’t have to use a couple of sentences to explain what I mean?
After leaving my blissful state of ignorance, I came to learn that micro-cheating means that your partner is doing some things that teeter on the edge. Well, it’s a thin line between cheating and micro-cheating if I’m being honest.
The big difference is that the latter is not directly harmful to your relationship and for some couples, it’s not even considered crossing boundaries. This micro-cheating thing is unique to each couple and what is cheating for one couple and a good enough reason to break up, others may easily brush off as nothing.
So, when reading these possible signs that your partner may be almost-cheating, remember those relationship boundaries you’ve guys agreed on before starting a serious relationship. Make sure they are communicated clearly and keep that union healthy.
Possible signs of micro-cheating
As I’ve already said, some of these may not be a red flag for you, not even a tiny one. So, take everything with a grain of salt, but be cautious and pay more attention to your lover if you do notice most of them. If you react on time, you may prevent something more damaging to your relationship.
1. He’s checking his phone too often
Is he constantly checking his phone when he’s with you? Does he put it upside down and next to him on the table when you’re having dinner? Yet he told you the password for his laptop, or showed you the pattern he uses to unlock his phone?
If you started questioning his motives after reading these questions, something may be wrong. He could be texting another woman or hiding some secrets from you. Also, you may have access to all of his devices, but the texting app he prefers may be locked.
2. He doesn’t acknowledge your feelings
Are you being vulnerable with him, but not getting anything in return? Have you tried talking with him, but he somehow dismisses you every single time? You’re probably starting to feel downhearted and neglected because the person who used to be there for you doesn’t pay attention anymore.
You may start overthinking everything you did or said. This can cause some mild mental health issues, but you have to know that it’s not necessarily your fault. You’re not oversharing; he should always be by your side and actively listen to what you have to say.
3. He’s flirting with other women over text
Maybe flirting is not cheating in his mind, but what about yours? Have you talked this one through when you were setting those relationship boundaries at the beginning? Of course, you won’t get mad if he politely smiles back at an attractive stranger, or will you?
Is he simply an outgoing person and what’s generally considered flirting is his normal behavior? Or, is he actively trying to attract another woman’s attention? Before you react, you have to know the difference between these two when it comes to your man.
4. He gets defensive when you confront him about his behavior
Another sign of micro-cheating is this whenever you try to confront him about his fishy behavior, he puts his defenses up and there’s nothing you can do to lower them. He may start accusing you of not trusting him, or of being jealous.
Don’t fall for these if your gut is telling you that something’s wrong. Follow up on it, because from my experience, he’s not defending himself because he didn’t do anything. Maybe he simply thinks he may have crossed the boundary with one of his friends and is overthinking it right now.
5. He’s confiding in another woman
If you feel like he’s not sharing important information with you anymore and that he may be confiding in another woman, it may be a sign that he’s guilty of micro-cheating. When something good or bad happens in our lives, the first person we want to share it with is, naturally, our partner.
However, if one of his friends knows some things that are supposed to be known to you only, or even worse – if she knows something you don’t – it’s an evident sign that he’s talking with her openly about his life. And that’s a big red flag, because he may have already started developing feelings for her.
6. He created a Tinder account just to see how many matches he’d get
This one may be triggering, especially if you’ve been through something similar. If your boyfriend or husband created a profile on any dating app, Tinder included, simply to see how many potential matches he’d get, it’s alarming.
He’s either already unfaithful or he’s thinking about having an affair with someone. I know this may be a hard pill to swallow, but reflect on your relationship and try to figure out what’s missing. It’s still possible to save it since the act of cheating itself hasn’t happened. Yet.
7. He dresses up when he goes to see someone who’s “just a friend”
He told you that he’s going out to meet with this friend from childhood later today. You don’t suspect anything at all, because you know about this “Harper” and that she’s just a friend. But this time something is odd. He took some time to find a nice shirt and he ironed his pants.
Why is he dressing up like he’s going on a date? Surely, this isn’t a business meeting, because they don’t work in the same field. Try not to make a jealous scene right there, but “monitor” him for some time. If you notice more signs that he may be cheating, confront him.
Okay, your partner isn’t typically on social media much. Recently, however, your news feed page says he’s commenting on a lot of posts and liking other women’s pictures. Should that be concerning? Probably not.
I mean, we’re all endlessly scrolling and liking other people’s posts all day, every day. But if you’ve noticed that he’s returning to a particular profile often and his comments are getting flirtier, don’t hesitate to talk with him about that.
In the end, I simply want to emphasize one more time that for your relationship this may be normal. The definition of micro-cheating is unique to each of us. As long as he respects your boundaries and takes care that your relationship stays healthy, that’s all that’s important.