Sometimes love isn’t enough. We’ve all heard this before and you’re wondering if it’s really true…
All of our lives we’ve been taught that love is what makes the world go around. We meet people who cause us the most wounding heartbreaks and yet we strive to love and be loved.
But is love the only thing that matters in a relationship? Well, no. There are other pillars that can make or break your relationship. It’s so easy to get caught up in strong feelings for a person who seems perfect to us.
And when you do fall in love, all those love quotes finally make sense to you. Love is a strange concept that has different meanings to different people. For some, love is when you bring them a cup of coffee in bed while to others, that small act may mean nothing.
Love is a delicious cocktail of emotions and it sometimes seems like it’s all that really matters in a relationship.
But there are other things that are more important than love. By accepting that love isn’t the sole thing that matters, only then can your relationship move to the next level.
Don’t get me wrong, you shouldn’t stop being a hopeless romantic. For some people, going to see a movie is their definition of a perfect date. Receiving flowers and going out to eat your favorite food together is amazing. Those are all nice additions to an already healthy relationship.
But those things will not keep you two together. A relationship isn’t just about love and affection. It’s far more complicated than it seems on the surface.
You have to have a strong foundation for the relationship to last. That’s why besides love, there should always be other things like trust, communication, and respect.
But why isn’t love enough?
Well, first things first: It doesn’t pay the bills, right?
I know. You love your partner so much. But you can’t pay the bills with hugs and kisses.
The world would indeed be a better place if we could, but that simply isn’t how things work. I mean, if you want your relationship to literally survive in the physical form, then you need something more than just love.
Another thing to remember is that love doesn’t equal happiness.
If you think about it, love is just one aspect of life. For you to achieve happiness, you have to engage in other things in life besides love.
And if you think that love is enough, then you’re not seeing the bigger picture here.
Yes, you should enter a relationship with the intent of being happy with someone, but eventually, you’ll need more out of life.
And finally, keep in mind that love constantly evolves.
Ask yourself this: Do I love my partner the same way I loved him at the beginning of our relationship?
Probably not. But what did keep you two together after that fiery passion of love expired?
Well, other things such as well-built trust and healthy communication, of course.
Love evolves over time and you have to remember that its meaning changes as couples move forward and start building their life together. If we only chase one version of love, we’re never going to find true happiness.
Relationships last because both partners agree to change as the other one changes. It takes both people to be emotionally mature to figure that out, and to be able to stick it out in a relationship during times when you think that your partner doesn’t love you anymore.
So, if love isn’t the only thing that matters in a relationship, what does?
When it seems that there is no love, trust is what can save your relationship.
Well, it really doesn’t matter how much you love a person, if you can’t trust them, then your relationship won’t work. It’s one of the pillars of a healthy relationship and most dating experts will tell you that trust is a necessity.
Trust doesn’t just mean that you believe your partner won’t cheat on you. No, trust is a whole lot more than that.
Trust is also when your partner knows he can confide in you, when he feels safe around you, and when he knows he can be vulnerable with you. Simply put, it means that you have each other’s backs, no matter what life throws at you.
And without it, you’ll live in constant fear that your partner might hurt you.
Another thing that is more important than love is maintaining your independence.
What does that mean? Well, you had a life before you met your partner, right? Hanging onto your independence means that you are free to do the things you want to do, without having your partner constantly nagging you or saying that you should this and that.
It means that you have your own thoughts and feelings. It also means that you can freely express those thoughts and emotions. Those things are essential in a relationship.
And if you completely lose all of those things to love, then you’re doing yourself and your partner an unkindness.
If you focus on yourself, you’ll actually strengthen the bond between the two of you because you decide to do what’s best for you. You and your partner can only benefit from that as you’ll grow together because you’ll both be working toward being the best versions of yourselves.
Feeling safe and secure around each other is another pillar of a healthy relationship. And the sooner you realize that, the more you’ll grow as a couple.
No one wants to be in a toxic relationship. Those kinds of relationships only drain your energy and rob you of your faith in love. And a toxic situation is a toxic situation, no matter how hard you try to convince yourself that yours is different.
However, you won’t be able to see the situation as it is if you only focus on love. And in the case of a toxic relationship, the best solution for you would be to look for a safe way out.
Love will never be enough to fix an emotionally abusive partner. Accept the fact that you can’t change the person and move on with your life.
We like to think that love is the most important thing in the world. But if you combine other pillars of a relationship such as trust, safety, independence, respect, and happiness, love will emerge naturally.
You shouldn’t have to go around and chase it because love will come naturally.
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