Oftentimes, we think that dating and relationships are the same but that’s actually not true. Dating someone and starting a real romantic relationship with them isn’t the same at all.
The fact is that many people who are good at dating often don’t want to be in a relationship. So tell me how many times have you met a great, charming guy, gone on a couple of dates and had a special moment, and then waited for him to make the first move?
Be honest – did he ghost you? Maybe you thought that if you played things by the book that you would make him commit to you but that didn’t happen or it could be that you were the one chasing after him and that’s the reason why he ghosted you in the first place.
Well, if you think about it in terms of the latter, it’s not a woman’s duty to pursue a man. It’s actually a man’s job to chase after her if his emotions are genuine. Unfortunately, many women tend to forget this and they waste their time waiting for a man to decide whether they’re worth committing to or not.
This usually leads to women to be desperate or impatient, which are the main characteristics of a bad dater. Or what’s even worse, they play the waiting game with those guys and then settle for treatment that’s less than what they deserve.
Still, one thing is clear – you should never do his job for him!
The next time you meet someone who checks some of your boxes, let him take the lead when it makes sense for him to do so. Don’t try to compete with him in any way and just enjoy the ride.
Throw in a couple of hints so that he knows you’re interested in him but that’s it. Then you’ve done your part and you just need to wait for his next move.
It’s completely normal to be impatient when you’re playing the waiting game but remember that it’s all about the timing. If the guy you’re dating isn’t calling or texting you, then you’re probably not dating the right one.
On the other hand, if he’s taking his time to get to know you and isn’t moving as fast as you would like, then you have to keep your cool and wait.
Just because the guy isn’t taking the initiative doesn’t mean you have to do it for him. A relationship that it’s built on insecurity won’t have strong foundations and will never last.
It’s not that difficult to know what a guy wants from you. If he’s interested in you, then he’ll ask you out and he’ll take the lead.
Even if his insecurities affect him, he’ll gather the courage to ask you for a date because he sees that you’re a real catch.
That’s why you need to let him pursue you.
Another key component when letting a man pursue you is trust. If you lack trust then you’re missing out on the opportunity to get to know him better.
What I mean by this is that you have to believe that he’ll make the first move so that his actions give you an insight into who he really is.
Letting a man chase you requires you to have patience and allow him to set his own pace – one he feels most comfortable with. Unfortunately, many women aren’t persistent and they give in to their emotions.
However, trusting the guy you want to have a relationship with isn’t impossible. With a little self-control and a lot of faith, you can easily find yourself in a healthy relationship.
Let him pursue you but know that there’s a difference between a man who’s investing his time and effort in you and a man just showing you interest.
Making a plan of action that will lead to you two being together is crucial but you have to assess his level of investment. Is he just looking to pass time with you?
Is he a player who only cares about quantity and not quality or is he a good guy who’s honestly interested in you?
Well, you can decipher his intentions by observing his actions. Perhaps he’s trying to pursue you but his efforts are going unnoticed. Maybe you’re blinded by your love for him so you fail to recognize all those red flags that he isn’t the one for you.
Often, a man will openly express that he isn’t ready to commit. You just have to take a step back and see things from a different perspective. Ask your mutual friends for their opinions and whether or not they’ve noticed if he’s into you.
If he’s not, then you can’t do anything to change his mind. Conversely, if a man’s showing interest in you, then you can meet him halfway and let him know that his feelings are reciprocated.
There’s nothing wrong with trying to get to know anyone. What’s not okay is pursuing a relationship with a man who takes you for granted and leaves you the moment someone ‘better’ comes along.
I understand that waiting for him to make the first move can be frustrating or unbearable but you have to let him pursue you. It shouldn’t be the other way around so don’t assume that you should do everything.
A guy who wants to make you a part of his life won’t have a problem taking action. He’ll chase you until he finally reaches his goal and that’s to call you his girlfriend.
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