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It’s Better To Be Alone Than The One Who Cares More

It’s Better To Be Alone Than The One Who Cares More

When I was a kid, I used to spend lots of time dreaming about the day I’d finally meet my Prince Charming.

At first, I was really a fan of the Barbie movies, so I planned on finding myself someone who’d be exactly like Ken. And then when I went into a Bratz phase, I decided my boyfriend would be just like Jade’s. And I looked for him from a very young age.

That’s actually how I met Lucas at the kindergarten. I was sure he was the one.

We spent most of our time together. He knew I loved chocolate so he’d always save some of his sweets for me. And I did the same for him. We studied math together, even though we didn’t manage to learn anything except for our 10 times tables.

DONE! It's Better To Be Alone Than The One Who Cares More

I loved going to kindergarten with him. However, when it came time for us to start our real education, we didn’t end up going to the same school. That’s how our beautiful love story ended and I went on a quest to find my Jack (obviously, I was seriously into Titanic at the time).

Unfortunately, many years passed and I was in high school already, and still no sign of him. I was fine with it though, all of us were single. I even thought I was too young for it, and I decided to just enjoy my life. And that included not forcing any love stories.

And I truly enjoyed it. Honestly, I didn’t care about being single at all. I used every opportunity I had to travel, learn a new language, watch tons of movies, read hundreds of books, and go to many concerts. I was so happy I got to experience all those things.

Then more time passed, and I started college. Most of my friends were in happy relationships and I felt like that old “forever alone” meme that went viral. I tried to make myself believe that I was fine on my own. And it worked pretty well.

That is until some of my friends started getting married and I was still alone. I even spent some nights thinking about Lucas from kindergarten, wondering if he was my soulmate. I was so scared that I lost “the one” just because we were so young back then.

DONE! It's Better To Be Alone Than The One Who Cares More

Thankfully, that phase was gone and I was determined to find a boyfriend soon. So I started going out more. I changed my style and even the way I spoke. I tried to make myself a bit more feminine, and when I started getting more and more compliments, my self-esteem was at an all-time high.

I was so sure that my time had come. And it did! I finally met the guy who made me feel all these things I always wanted to feel. It was amazing, like all of my dreams came true. I enjoyed my life. I knew I’d meet “the one” when the right time came!

But not long after we started dating, I started feeling afraid. I didn’t want to lose him. So I started doing everything I could to make him obsessed with me. That included planning our trips, cool date ideas, writing down the little things he mentioned, and many more cute things. I cared for him so much.

We traveled a lot. I was the one who planned it all, but he told me that it was because I had way more experience than he did. I didn’t think about it that much back then. The most important thing was that we got to spend tons of time together and had so much fun.

I was also the one who planned our dates. He was too busy because he had two jobs and I was still in college, so I had way more time to think about some cool places. I tried so hard, and I can confidently say I did a pretty good job.

DONE! It's Better To Be Alone Than The One Who Cares More

We had tons of different dates. We went to amusement parks, escape rooms, fancy dinners, concerts, picnics, open cinema, and many other fun places. I even took him to see his favorite football team! And yes, I also learned how to ride a tandem bike so we could do it together.

I’ve always carried my phone with me, so I made a little list of all the little things he ever mentioned. I used it whenever I wanted to plan a surprise for him. He was so happy and I was so sure we were “endgame.”

But one day, my mom asked me to watch Titanic with her. I hadn’t watched it since I was a kid, so I gladly said yes. That’s when it hit me. Jack did everything he could to make Rose happy, and she showed him he was worth much more than he thought.

I remembered that was the relationship I always wanted to have. And then I realized that I didn’t have it. I looked back and it broke my heart to see that the only one who tried so hard was me.

He never took me to see my favorite band, that beautiful lake I always talked about, or the tulip field in Amsterdam he promised to. He never bought me my favorite chocolate, and he never took beautiful candid pictures of me.

DONE! It's Better To Be Alone Than The One Who Cares More

I realized I was the one who cared much more. Yes, he was happy we were together. Yes, he treated me well. But that’s not luxury. That’s something that should be normal. Just like two people caring about each other in the same way.

Happy and healthy relationships don’t have one partner who tries much harder than the other one. Everything should be equal. And I don’t want to be the one who gives everything in the relationship but receives practically nothing in return.

I loved him, but I deserve to be with someone who’d do little things for me. And someone who’d be happy to show me how much he cares about me.

It's Better To Be Alone Than The One Who Cares More

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