Sometimes, you meet someone who shakes up your whole world, and you find yourself in a serious dilemma – Infatuation vs. love, which one is it?
And truth be told, there’s a fine line between the two. When you’re smitten with a person, it’s hard to know where you actually stand with them.
We all know how it feels when you meet someone magical who makes you put on your rose-colored glasses the moment you see them.
Your whole body shakes, and you feel like you’ve found the person you’ve been looking for your whole life. When you look at him, you see someone you want to grow old with, a dream come true in the shape of a man.
You smile when you see him, your heart beats faster when you say his name, and you not only feel butterflies in your stomach but also every other living creature there is.
You seem to be feeling all those emotions people write books about. His presence completely overtakes you and you have eyes only for him.
It looks like you’re in love but is it really true or are you just infatuated with him? What’s the actual truth?
Infatuation vs. love – Which one is it?
Once you feel all of the beautiful emotions, your mind starts running wild.
You feel everything at once and you no longer know whether it’s good or bad for you.
Are you in love or are you just infatuated with this person’s presence? Will these feelings reduce over time or will they only get stronger?
You like the feeling, but you simply want to know whether it’s real.
You want to be sure that the thing you feel won’t disappear in a week and leave you heartbroken and broken into pieces.
It may sound impossible but we all sometimes mistake love with infatuation.
We’re so driven by the idea of finding someone who shakes up our world that we no longer have any idea whether we’ve found that special someone.
That’s why it’s sometimes necessary to seek help from an outsider, someone who’ll be able to point out all of the emotions you’re currently feeling.
So, this article is exactly what you need right now.
Love vs. infatuation – the battle between these two well-known opponents can start.
Get ready for the information that’s about to be revealed because it’ll be eye-opening.
Here are ten ways to tell what you’re actually feeling. Once you answer these questions, you’ll know for sure.
1. What’s the pace of your emotions?
When dealing with love vs. infatuation and you’re trying to figure out which one best describes your feelings, you first need to consider the pace of the emotions that you feel.
There’s one important difference between the two.
Infatuation is fast and all-consuming.
It comes out of nothing, as you literally have no idea about the person you’re attracted to; you simply feel pulled in, out of the blue.
On the flip side, love actually takes time.
It doesn’t happen all of a sudden, as you first need to get to know the person better in order to fall in love with them.
You’ll never see someone and immediately be able to tell that you love them; that happens only in movies.
In reality, love requires time. It needs you to get to know the person better and slowly develop feelings for them.
Sometimes, it can take months for you to realize that you’re actually in love.
This is when you’re trying to process everything that’s been happening in front of you.
With infatuation, you don’t need to know anything about the person in order to feel an instant attraction.
Their appearance is enough for you to think that you want to spend the rest of your life with them.
So, infatuation vs. love – if it happened all of a sudden and you were smitten with his looks, it’s infatuation.
But if it happens gradually and takes some time to process your feelings, it’s love.
2. How superficial are your feelings?
With infatuation vs. love, we could put it this way – physical affection vs. a deeper connection.
Infatuation is all about putting this person high above yourself and praising him for his perfection.
You feel like you’ve found someone who has no flaws at all, and you’re so attracted to him that you can’t seem to let go.
When you look at this person, you see all of his strengths, good sides, and attributes that make him perfect.
But the problem is that you ignore all of his flaws and weaknesses and push them under the rug.
This way, you make the infatuation game last longer as you prevent anything from ruining the perfect picture that you’ve created in your head.
This goes to show that everything you feel for that person is superficial and based only on his appearance.
You have no idea what’s hiding underneath and you don’t want to find out.
Love is different. His looks might be the thing that attracted you in the very beginning but it certainly isn’t the only reason why you decided to stay.
Love is all about getting to know everything about a person.
It’s about knowing that he has a ton of flaws but sticking with him because you know he’s worth it.
Love doesn’t care about the way he looks, what he’s wearing, or how charming he is.
Instead, it cares about the feeling that he evokes in you every time you see him.
Love is about knowing that your partner isn’t perfect but wanting to stay because you know that no one else can make you feel the same.
So, infatuation is based on everything that’s on the outside, while love goes deeper than perfect skin and a charming smile.
Once you admit to yourself which one of the two you feel, you’ll know where you stand.
3. Are you being irrational or thinking straight?
Another important thing in the infatuation vs. love dilemma is the way you think when you’re around that special person.
Infatuation makes you act all crazy. Your thoughts race and you plan your future with a person you’ve just met.
At this point, you start thinking irrationally and you convince yourself that it’s the right thing to do.
You’ve already planned the names of your kids, you have in mind where you could live, and if he asked you to move country for him, you would, without a second thought.
This is because you want to figure out your life before the infatuation stops and you realize that the person in front of you isn’t as perfect as you imagined.
You’re hurrying things up because you’re afraid of the moment when your bubble of happiness could burst, and you’re praying to God that everything turns out the way you planned.
Love, on the other hand, makes you feel calm, it makes you feel safe.
Why would you rush things when you know that real love doesn’t ever stop. It only grows stronger as the days go by.
Love provides you with support and you know that you have someone next to you on whom you can always count.
That’s why your plans aren’t as rushed as they are with infatuation.
However, they are secure, and you know that other person won’t bail on you when the moment to proceed with them comes.
You know that everything you’ve been planning will become your reality one day.
Now, tell me – Which way do you feel when you’re around that special someone? Are you hurrying things up or do you let time work its magic?
4. How long does it last?
Infatuation is intense. It overtakes you completely and you feel like you’re walking on sunshine.
Nevertheless, what you don’t know is that sooner or later, this feeling disappears completely.
Everything turns into nothing and it happens all of a sudden.
This is because infatuation is short-lived so it doesn’t last very long. Its usual timespan is around a year or two.
This might sound like a long time but what is a year compared to forever? It’s like a drop of water in the ocean.
But if you’ve been having feelings for someone for a longer period of time, it means that you’re in love with that person.
Time has no power over it; if anything, it only makes your feelings stronger and more secure.
When it comes to love, forever feels like nothing because you and your partner wouldn’t change the time you spend together for anything in the world.
Every time you remember that you’re about to spend the rest of your life with that person, your smile widens and you feel happy from the inside out.
If you feel that you’re having an ongoing dilemma with infatuation vs. love, just try to think of how long your feelings have been present.
That will help you realize where you are.
5. How does it make you feel?
One of the best ways to figure out the winner of the battle between infatuation vs. love is to think about the way you feel about that one specific person.
Do you crave being around him all the time because deep down, you feel that you could get replaced? Or do you feel safe and know that he won’t hurt you, no matter what?
Your answer means the difference between infatuation and love.
Because infatuation is passionate and based only on the physical appearance of a person, it makes you feel intoxicated in a way.
You smile, excited to see the person because you literally crave being next to him.
This is because you’re attracted to the facade, to the exterior, and that’s what you’re craving.
However, when it comes to love, things are completely different.
Love makes you feel secure. Even when your special person isn’t around you, you still feel his presence in your heart.
He’s your safe harbor – you call him when things get hard because you know that no one could make you feel better than he can in those moments.
You share your problems, dreams, and wishes with him because he’s the ones you trust to the core.
You don’t just want to be around him. Instead, you want to feel his presence in your heart because that’s the only way you know that you’re doing the right thing.
And even if he’s miles apart from you, you still feel that nothing could separate you because love is more than holding hands.
It’s the feeling that overtakes your whole body and soul.
It makes you feel safe – and that’s the whole point.
6. Are you obsessed with it?
Are you obsessed with him or do you fully trust him because you know that he won’t hurt you?
The answer to this question can solve the dilemma of infatuation vs. love.
If it feels like an obsession and if you’re controlled by jealousy, then it’s infatuation.
Just because you feel like you care about someone, it’s not a good enough excuse that you can call him every hour just to check up on what he’s doing.
It’s not a good enough excuse to follow him around just to see whether he’s actually meeting up with his friends.
This, my dear, is called obsession and it has nothing to do with love. It appears because of the infatuation you feel.
You know nothing about the person you’re infatuated with and you feel the need to control every step he takes.
It keeps you on your toes all the time because you can’t trust his actions.
And this all happens because you haven’t gotten to know that person the way you were supposed to. Instead, you stopped at his exterior beauty and made no effort to find out who he actually is.
Love, on the other hand, is all about mutual understanding and trust.
You don’t feel the need to create drama, chase after your guy, or check up on him because you trust him.
You know him well enough to know that he wouldn’t do anything that could hurt your feelings.
It means that you don’t feel under constant pressure to chase after him because love doesn’t know what jealousy feels like.
All those immature emotions are replaced with feelings of safety and calmness.
You know what you have by your side the same way your partner does and neither of you would risk any of that.
7. Is it draining or energizing?
If you’re torn between infatuation vs. love, think about this – Do you feel empty or full of energy? That will tell you what you’re dealing with.
Infatuation makes you feel drained.
You’re constantly alert, stressing about what could happen next, and trying to keep the person you’re infatuated with in your close proximity at all times.
This gets tiring and drains out every atom of energy that you have.
Over time, you start to feel lost and you don’t know what you could do to make these emotions go away.
On the flip side, love makes you full of energy. You feel like there’s nothing you can’t do as long as you have your special person cheering for you.
Love inspires you to become a better person. It teaches you to grow and perfect yourself.
But it doesn’t do it because you need to impress someone. Instead, it pushes you to become the best version of yourself because of yourself.
You see, love is about two people being there for each other while still trying to work on themselves.
Even though they love each other for who they are, they know that there’s always some room for progress.
Love gives you the energy to work on yourself and your life while infatuation leaves you dried out, unable to do anything with your life because there’s nothing left in you.
8. Are you in love with the idea of someone or the actual person?
This one is simple but it can be hard to give an honest answer to it, but try to be real with yourself and admit the truth.
Do you love the idea of the person that you created in your head or do you love the actual person, with all his flaws?
Infatuation vs. love is the same as loving the idea of someone vs. actually loving the person. And there’s a huge difference between the two.
When you love the idea of a person, you’re infatuated with him.
You probably don’t know a lot about him but you filled in the blanks in your head and you decided that he’s the right one for you.
When you love someone for who he actually is, you’re in love with him.
It means that you know everything about him and even though some parts of him aren’t perfect, you still see that he’s worth your time and love.
That’s why love lasts longer than infatuation; because once it all starts to unravel, infatuation burns out slowly and you realize that he’s not what you wanted him to be.
With love, you always choose to stay and fight for it because from the very beginning, you know who you’re fighting for.
9. Have you forgotten you have a life outside of the ‘relationship’?
Infatuation puts the person you’re infatuated with at the center of attention. It ignores everything else and focuses on only him.
If he calls you in the middle of the night to drop by his place, you’ll get out of bed, put some make-up on and leave the house.
If he asks you to meet him in an hour, you’ll cancel all of your other plans for him.
Infatuation is all about forgetting about your life because you feel a strong desire to be next to that special someone who makes your body shiver out of attraction.
And love is nothing like that. Love is so much better. It makes you the main character and treats you with kindness, no matter what.
Love allows you to have a life outside of the relationship because there’s no point in forgetting who you were before meeting your special someone.
Love teaches you to do your thing while your partner will always have your back.
You’ll never feel upset because you went out with your friends and didn’t cancel on them after your man asked you whether you were free that night.
And that’s because he’ll never make you feel pressured to spend all of your time with only him.
Instead, he’ll respect that you have a life outside of the relationship and he’ll encourage you to do your own thing.
Love grows with your life. It comes into every single aspect of it but it never overtakes it completely or gains control over it.
Instead, it lets you build yourself parallel to your relationship and encourages you to never stop doing that.
10. Are you always wondering how the other person is feeling?
With love vs. infatuation, the main difference is that love is two-sided while infatuation is usually stronger on one side.
So, when you’re infatuated with a person, you always keep wondering how he feels about you. Does he like you?
And even if he does, you still want to know whether his feelings would change by the next day.
Infatuation makes you think about all those little things love never talks about.
Like when it’s the right time to text him when he hasn’t replied to your last text.
Would you look desperate if you called him even though he didn’t answer your previous call?
Is he going to leave you and what could you do to save yourself from that?
These constant anxious thoughts are a regular part of infatuation.
And love? Love lets you know that you can count on your special person any moment of the day or night.
You never think about his feelings because once he tells you that he loves you, you no longer feel the need to overthink it.
His feelings aren’t a mystery to you. They’re more like an open book that you can read all the time.
And it’s all because you’re experiencing love and you know that he won’t bail on you because what you have is priceless and nothing can replace it.
Once you give honest answers to the above questions, you’ll know whether the thing you feel is infatuation or if it’s love.