I’m happy you found the courage to leave.

First off I want you to know how proud I am of you. And I know how hard it must have been to walk away. The hardest part isn’t moving on it’s going is staying moved on and finally recovering. You may never get an actual apology, even though you think oh deserve one. You have to find the strength to first forgive yourself, and then forgive the person who may never apologize.

Walking away was the best step you could have taken to gain the control of your life back. I know he’s told you that you couldn’t live without him, you can. I know he’s said that you will never find another man to love you like he did, but that’s not true.

He didn’t love you, he controlled you and there’s a huge difference there. Loving someone who has to belittle you to make themselves feel bigger, isn’t love.

You don’t need someone who treats you like property. You don’t need someone who doesn’t have respect for you just because he doesn’t have it for himself. Any person who has self-respect doesn’t treat people the way he treated you.

Someone’s inability to love you isn’t a reflection of you, it’s a reflection of them. Your value doesn’t decrease simply because he couldn’t see your worth. Because the truth is everyone else around you does. You aren’t to blame for any of this and it isn’t your responsibility to take ownership of the way someone else treats you.

I know he broke you down to a point where you can’t even look at your reflection with self-love and self-worth. And I know you think you’re too blame. He made you feel like it was your fault. Like the way, he treated you was the effect of something you caused. I know it feels like he ruined you. But the way I see it, it’s just the beginning for you. Because this relationship made you a better person.

So I will say it again, I’m so proud of you. I know you feel a lump in your throat now but it will go away with time. Letting yourself finally move on and finding happiness again is what’s best for you. You are strong. The good thing about it is, the hard part is over. Everything will be easy from now on.

The next step is forgiving yourself for the person you were through this. Forgive the person who allowed yourself to go through this, forgive the person who tolerated more than she ever should have. You aren’t her anymore.

You are better, you are stronger. You are powerful, and you know what you deserve more than anyone else. You will come the person you’ve always desired to be, but becoming that person will not happen over night. Take it one step at a time, because for once in your life you don’t have someone in the other corner pushing you ten steps back. One day you’re going to look back and smile at how far you’ve come and you will never go back.

By Katelyn Chandler for Odyssey