Find a best friend who isn’t afraid to be honest. A best friend who will tell you if your outfit isn’t on point or your fake-tan is more cheesy puffs than sun-kissed. A best friend who will tell you to cut your losses with the guy you have been in an ‘almost relationship’ with for six months because you definitely deserve better.

Find a best friend who will always put the brutal truth before her need to make you feel better, who will never tell you what you want to hear but what you need to hear. A best friend who would rather you be mad at her for a few days than see you make a mistake or get hurt. Find a best friend who knows that your love for each other is strong enough to overcome her need to upfront and honest, who knows that in the long run, you will be thankful for her inability to sugar-coat things.

Find a best friend who will tell you when you’re being “psycho” and when you’re definitely not, who will tell you if your boyfriend is being a complete ass and you need to speak up for yourself, who will tell you it’s okay to hate that one female friend because she is definitely into your guy and will tell you when you’re being irrationally jealous. A best friend who you immediately text after/during a fight with him because you know she will tell you if you’re in the wrong or totally within your rights to be mad.

A best friend who will always be on your side, even when she’s not. A best friend who is not afraid to disagree with you, even if it means you might argue.

Find a best friend you absolutely have to take shopping, whether in person or via photos. A best friend who will tell you if that skirt makes you look sensational or a little frumpy, a best friend who will give her honest opinion on a dress you think is gorgeous and she knows is a little fugly. A best friend whose advice is always honest but never spiteful.

Find a best friend who will never leave you when you make mistakes, who will never judge you when your life falls apart, who will never make you feel bad for something which makes you feel good. Who will listen to you when you complain about the same old things every day, who will still be there when you don’t take her advice and end up right back in the same painful situation, who will scold you but never desert you.

Find yourself a best friend who you can’t imagine living without, whose honesty is what keeps you grounded, whose advice keeps you safe, whose unconditional love makes you feel secure. A best friend who you will still be going for coffee with when you have husbands and three kids and you’re trying to talk to each other over screaming kids and spilt drinks but you can’t sacrifice your favorite time of the week. A best friend who you know will still be there when you’re both old and senile. A best friend whose presence alone is enough, more than enough.

Find yourself a friendship which is strong enough to withstand the truth, a friendship which is real and raw and brutal. A friendship which is about raising each other up, supporting each other and always wanting the best for each other. A friendship which will not lie to keep things sweet, which will not keep words which must be spoken for fear of an argument, a friendship which can talk things through, which can be relied upon.

Because there is nothing more pure, more real, more incredible than the connection between two best friends. A love which can overcome painful truths and tearful conversations, a love which is always about support and a desire to see each other beyond happy.

So find yourself a best friend who will always be honest with you, even when it hurts, even when it isn’t what you want to hear.

A best friend who simply wants the entire world for you because she, more than anyone, knows that’s exactly what you deserve.

By Rose Goodman for ThoughtCatalog