Everyone knows the feeling of heartache or the pain of a broken relationship. Those things seem to be a right of passage through life. They come by surprise and dash our hopes, leaving us stunned.
After a disappointment, we no longer see things the same way. Our expectations have been broken. We have gone from being open to the world and vulnerable to feeling left out and isolated.
It isn’t pretty, but it’s the honest truth.
This usually results in a change of attitude. We can’t help but think that growing a thicker skin and simply feeling less will solve the problem. If we can keep up the appearance of being indifferent, maybe it can help us feel strong in our own hearts as well.
Because, dealing with emotional pain can be just as excruciating as healing broken bones.
Here are 11 things you’ll notice people who’ve been hurt badly do unknowingly:
1. They question their perception of reality
Once upon a time they were excited by limitless possibilities. The world was a source of wonder and inspiration. Until they were betrayed.
They started to believe that having high hopes doesn’t pay off.
2. Their perspective is skewed towards the negative
No matter how perfect someone may seem, they will keep questioning the true nature of the new people they cross paths with.
They hide their pain behind a façade of cynicism or sarcasm. It’s like a protective mechanism.
3. They have resigned themselves to existing in sadness
Unfortunately, they can get stuck in the same emotional patterns. No matter how much someone may encourage them to be positive or push them to move forward, they just don’t want to do it.
They’ve grown accustomed to being sad.
4. Romance is no longer something they believe in
They find soppy romantic movies particularly offensive. The unrealistic portrayal of love doesn’t reflect their reality.
5. They are secretive
It won’t be easy to get their stories out of them. Disappointment has taught them not to be too open about their past or their deepest desires.
They have learned that the higher they rise, the harder they fall
Nothing bad could happen if they guard their hearts better this time around.
6. They are ready to leave when they start to feel something more
After all, they were abandoned. Noone was there for them when they were going through something tough.
So now they have changed tactics. Being cold and fiercely independent means guaranteed safety. Leaving before they are broken is their new strategy.
7. They don’t believe in love that lasts
Are people just fooling themselves with stories that end “happily ever after”? Experience has clearly shown them that actually, love doesn’t last forever.
8. Flirting is easier than ever
Casual is their new relationship style. It’s fun being playful, feeling attractive. It’s nice to know that the good times don’t need to be spoiled by a bad ending. They just remain a nice memory. Fun was had, games were played and everyone walks away content.
9. They tend to think about their exes more than they should
Unable to form strong bonds with new people, they tend to jump back to their exes. Some part of them misses the emotional closeness and is trying to recreate it. With little success…
They usually find out there were very good reasons their exes are in their past.
10. They don’t believe in conventional fairytale endings
That familiar storyline where boy meets girl, boy overcomes obstacles to be with said girl and they live happily ever after…well that just isn’t how life works, is it?
11. Although they won’t admit it, they still cherish secret hopes
They might have been frozen over emotionally, but that doesn’t mean they don’t still have hopes. It’s just that they aren’t willing to work so hard for love anymore.
As hard as it is for them to admit, they’re still human. Humans are wired for connection.
They just need time to let this phase pass.