You’d think that when people are done with relationships, they would just end them and save everyone the trouble of confusion and even more heartache, but things aren’t always so simple. Leaving someone, especially if you’ve been together for a long time, is a complicated and difficult thing to do, regardless of whether or not you fell out of love long ago. Here are some signs that your guy has already checked out of your relationship, he just doesn’t have the balls to officially end it.

1. HE’S DISCONNECTED DURING SEX.You guys might still be getting it on, but it’s with much less frequency and when you do get busy, there’s less cuddling and fewer sweet moments and more pulling away as soon as everything’s done.

2. HE’S LEAVING YOU OUT OF IMPORTANT DECISIONS.He used to run things by you and look forward to hearing your opinion, but now he’s not even mentioning his decision making process and you’re finding things out as they occur.

3. HE’S HAPPIEST HANGING OUT WITH PEOPLE THAT AREN’T YOU.You’re getting the short end of the stick putting up with his bad moods, especially since he seems to be really happy in the company of others.

4. HE’S STARTING TO GET FRIENDLY WITH OTHER WOMEN.Your guy always seemed to be respectful of your feelings around other women, but now it’s like he’s almost trying to make you jealous.

 

5. HE PICKS FIGHTS OVER NOTHING.The missing remote turned your living room in WWIII and for some reason, he wholeheartedly thinks you’re the one to blame.

 

6. HE SUDDENLY CAN’T STAND CERTAIN THINGS ABOUT YOU.You’ve always worn blue nail polish and experimented with bold makeup, but now he thinks your style is over-the-top and criticizes your appearance daily.

7. HE’S TOLD YOU THAT YOU DESERVE BETTER.He brings up trivial things as reasons why he’s just not very good at being a boyfriend, and doesn’t stop when you try to disagree.

 

8. HE RARELY RESPONDS TO TEXTS WHEN HE’S OUT.He used to keep in touch all day long, and now when he does respond to your texts, he’s always apologizing for how long it took, but the excuses are lame.

9. YOU JUST DON’T FEEL CLOSE ANYMORE.Your feelings towards him haven’t changed, and yet there’s a serious distance growing between you and you don’t know what in the world could be causing it.

 

10. HE’S STARTED TALKING ABOUT A FUTURE THAT DON’T INCLUDE YOU.Recently he’s been amped about this idea of going back to school, but he would probably have to move and he knows you’re not leaving your job anytime soon.

11. HE ISN’T REALLY AFFECTIONATE.If you’re on sharing “I love you” status, he’s been slipping on them. He never gives you random kisses or cuddles anymore, and makes excuses to move away when you initiate.

 

12. HE’S NOT COMMITTING TO ANYTHING.You’re trying to buy concert tickets and he’s being super vague and non-committal like he doesn’t know if he’ll be around at all this summer.

13. HE’S IRRITATED ABOUT HIS OWN CHIVALRY.He’s always been pretty generous about treating you to dinner, but suddenly he’s trying to make it seems like you’re just being selfish in letting him.

14. HE TRIES TO AVOID POSTING PHOTOS TOGETHER.You could seriously sense his hesitation when you tried to set up a double selfie while hiking last weekend.

 

15. HE TALKS ABOUT DIFFERENT QUALITIES HE WANTS IN A WOMAN.If your guy starts throwing around things like, “Where do I find a wife like that?” in reference to his favorite TV character, he’s clearly trying to mention that you’re not it.

By Kate Ferguson for Bolde