If you don’t chase after me, I’m not going to waste my time with you.

When I say you should chase after me, I don’t mean you should show up at my place of work unexpectedly and call me three times in a row when I fail to answer the first time. I don’t mean you should settle for a one-sided relationship with me where you’re doing all the work.

I am not going to play hard to get. I am not going to look at your text, ignore it, and hope that you text me a second time once you realize I’m not going to answer. I am not going to treat you like you’re invisible because I have been in that situation before and know how unfair it is.

When I say I want you to chase me, what I mean is that I want you to show enthusiasm. I want you to put in actual effort instead of doing the minimum amount and assuming that will woo me.

I want you to text me first when you wake up before me. I want you to ask me whether I’m free over the weekend instead of waiting for me to do the honors. I want you to show your interest in more ways than liking my pictures and snapping me pictures of your own.

When I say I want you to chase after me, I mean I don’t want you to give up easily. When something is clearly bothering me and I tell you I’m fine, I don’t want you to leave me alone for the night. I don’t want you to settle for my silence. I want you to remind me I can tell you anything. I want you to convince me to open up to you.

Or when you ask me to hang out at the last second and I tell you I’m busy, I don’t want you to consider that a rejection. I want you to work with me. I want you to communicate with me so we can rearrange our schedules to find a time that works for both of us. I want you to show me you care about seeing me. I want you to prove that hanging out with me is not just a last minute idea when you’re bored.

When I say I want you to chase after me, I mean I want you to put energy into our relationship instead of letting whatever happens happen. I don’t want to be the one pursuing you all the time. I want to take turns. I want you to plan dates some days and me to plan other days. I want you to text first sometimes and me to text first sometimes. I want to swap roles. I want to stay equal.

When I say I want you to chase after me, I mean I want a balanced relationship. A relationship where I don’t have to wonder whether you truly care about me or whether you are only using me. A relationship where we are best friends. A relationship where we are teammates.

By Holly Riordan for ThoughtCatalog