When You’re Not Suicidal, But You’re Tired of Living
You know you’re not suicidal. You would never hurt yourself nor have you ever even thought of ending your life.
But you’re exhausted.
Even when you get a full eight hours of sleep (naps included), you still wake up feeling like you’ve been hit by a truck. You can barely get through the morning.
You don’t want to die, but you barely eat because you’re not hungry. You have no desire to take your life, but you burn yourself while cooking more often than you should. You’re not careful when you cross the street because you could care less about getting hit.
When you take a shower, you let it burn your skin until it grows raw. You barely talk to friends and when you do, you’re not as lively as you’d like to be. All the conversations feel empty and when you head home, you feel even more numb.
You don’t want to commit suicide, but you have no interest in what once gave you joy. You basically have to force yourself to do your favorite hobby or anything that you used to love for that matter. Listening to music isn’t exciting, you can’t keep up with shows on Netflix, and even thinking about going to the movies fills you with dread.
You don’t want to die, but living has become a chore. You barely wash your hair and you don’t think a whole lot about how you dress. The bags under your eyes grow deeper and more prominent.
You’re not suicidal, but you’re sick and tired of life and that’s just as serious.
If you’ve stopped caring for yourself to the point where you’re letting yourself fall apart, it’s time to take a step back and seek help. Because even though you’re not going to kill yourself, you’re still hurting yourself which may lead to the idea of suicide if it continues.
As exhausting as life is, it’s not impossible to heal and get your energy back. Talk a friend, try something brand new, get spiritual, fall back in love with yourself, whatever it takes to get better, do it.
You deserve to live a life you love and enjoy.