No one ever tells you that an almost relationship will never give you closure. An almost relationship will always leave you with unanswered questions and what ifs. You’ll wonder what could have happened if you met at a different time, and you’ll wonder why it had to happen in the first place. An almost relationship will leave you feeling that you did something wrong. You’ll think you should have tried a little bit harder, waited a little longer, loved a little bit less, or let go a little bit earlier. You’ll think that the way things ended weren’t fair. You’ll want an apology, an apology you’ll never get.
No one ever tells you that an almost relationship doubles your heartbreak. You’ll be in pain because things ended, you’ll be in pain because no one gets it, and you’ll be in pain because you never had a chance. At least in a relationship you tried and you failed. But in an almost relationship, you’ll never know what could have been. You can’t talk about it to others because they won’t understand where you are coming from. They will think you are overreacting or weak because from the way they see it, you were never in a relationship, so why are you so hurt again?
No one ever tells you that an almost relationship wrecks your self-esteem. It makes you feel that it’s all your fault. It makes you feel that you’re not good enough, and that you’ll never be. It makes you think that you need fixing. It makes you think that all the beautiful things about you are ugly, and that all the magical things about you are just ordinary. An almost relationship makes you question your worth because someone failed to see it. It makes you believe that you’ll never find someone who will love you the way you love, that will accept you for who are.
No one ever tells you that an almost relationship is the best worst thing that could happen to you. It breaks your heart, it alters your perspective, it flips your world upside down—it changes you completely. It forces you to face what you’ve been running away from. It allows you to see what you deserve. It helps you distinguish between what you want and what you think you want. It makes you confident about the things that you’ll never be okay with. An almost relationship empowers you to stand up for yourself only after you hit the ground. It gives you peace of mind only after you take from what you needed to learn. And it shows you why it needed to happen only after you’ve moved on.